Monday, October 1, 2012

How Did I Get Here...

I used to spend the majority of my private Internet time reading forums like Our Hot Wives and its predecessor or places like Wife Lovers.  I learned so much about myself and about the people who share the particular kink I have obsessed over for much of my adult life.  I have to admit, it has been a while since I've looked at either page, preferring to spend my limited alone time with personal blogs and of course, a certain amount of picture viewing.

I thought of these places as I was having a conversation with Co-worker E last week.  I think he was trying to understand this whole cuckold thing that I loosely associate myself with.  If you look in a dictionary and get the definition that a cuck is a man who has a wife that has slept with others, well, then I qualify.  The problem is though, in many of the forums, they describe a Hot Wife as the wife of a man who gets off on sharing his wife (I qualify, for sure) and a cuckold as a husband who is forced to be humiliated by his wife who is fucking other men.  In short, even with the community of men who want their wives to have sex with other men, there are certain categories and the men married to Hot Wives seem to look down on the cuckolds.  It is exhausting trying to keep up.

My initial venture into this whole thing actually started with a porn movie a friend lent me.  The story involved a bunch of neighbors who held an annual beauty contest amongst the wives, and this year, the wives were all so competitive that one by one, they started fucking each others husbands in order to garner votes.  This idea of wives sleeping with other men sparked something in my imagination, and when I first brought up the idea to my wife having only been married for a year or so, she was not game at all!  At first, I wanted to do a couple swap.  I even had the couple picked out; the people next door to us.  My wife was totally turned off by the husband to start with, but more importantly, she made it clear that she could never handle seeing me with another woman, even if and maybe especially if the woman was a friend.

I'm sure I've written about our first threesome somewhere in this blog, and the several years it took us to get there, but the idea of swapping with a couple morphed to wanting a threesome (MFM since FMF was definitely out of the question), and eventually, this whole turn-on of "sharing" with or without the threesome.

It was only later that I started to really accept that there might be some association with this fantasy and the fact that I am bisexual.  Did I want to use my wife as a way of getting with another guy?  I really don't think so, but there is no denying that some of my enjoyment from our threesomes included the other dick in the room.  And if you ever look at the discussions and arguments in the hot wife/cuckold related forums, you find that one faction of men getting off on this (wife sharing) are totally homophobic.  Most aren't but some are so caught up in it that it is impossible to understand how they can enjoy seeing their wife fuck another guy, knowing that another man's penis was involved.  It makes me laugh to be honest.

There is the whole humiliation thing which I have touched on a bit recently.  In the forums, you have every kink ranging from men locked in cock cages, "forced" to wear panties or actually dress as women, and all the way to servicing the wife's boy toy.  Some of it can be pretty degrading unless you are into that thing.  I'm not. (Though I'll gladly service the guy, thanks).  On the other end of the spectrum you have guys that set limits on what the other man can do.  For some, it is no anal, or no kissing.  These are treats saved for the husband.  Again, to each his and her own.

The ultimate battle ground between the cucks and the non-cucks seems to be the creampie.  For a lot of people, the ultimate symbol of wife-sharing is the creampie.  If you get off on the fact that your wife sleeps with other men, wouldn't the ultimate goal be to see another man's load oozing from her?  To eat it or just fuck it?  Frankly, it is a huge fantasy for me.  In our threesomes, we never allowed the other guy to leave a deposit,  so to speak, simply for fear of pregnancy.  I can tell you for sure, 100 percent, if I had had the opportunity, I would have cleaned it up completely.   

What about jealousy, Co-worker E asked.  I have to admit, for me, jealousy is really not an issue.  Perhaps that explains some things in my marriage, but the truth is, there must be a switch in the wrong position in my brain because I was always one of those husbands who took other men being attracted to my wife as a compliment to not only her, but to me.  As in, I'm the guy going home with her!

But that is not to say that there isn't some inner turmoil that occurs as you approach this.  I think swapping and "monogamish" relationships are better understood and accepted in the main stream more so than even 10 years ago, but still, when you invite another person into your bed, you are going against the norms of most families anyway.  I was less worried that some other guy was fucking my wife than I was that our families would find out.  I used to be worried that co-workers would find out.  Obviously, less so these days.

It is so hard to imagine that our first threesome took place 20 years ago.  And it has been almost ten years since the last.  Given the chance, I'd be game.  I think my wife would be willing in the right circumstances, but it isn't something we think about that often.  The occasional fantasy talk is enough these days.  And reading blogs helps.

I used to be obsessed with blogs written by men, describing details of their wives hot wife activities.  Now I find I like the female point of view.  I love reading blogs from wives that see other men, either with the husband knowing, or not.  It must be another little switch in my brain that has been flipped.

Anyone care to share comments, thoughts, questions, or pictures?  E-mail me or leave a comment, won't you?


G said...

my first comment went somewhere, forgive me if this is a duplicate.

I love watching my husband suck another man's cock, love hearing them moan and enjoy it. I have watched him fuck another guy in the ass while other guy ate my pussy. Hot!

Lately I am more turned on by the thought of being with someone else alone. Because even though we have fun together and have amazing sex, I am not my full fledged sexual goddess self around my husband. He is still jealous if I look like I am having too much fun. No kissing, which is just so fun to me.

One more thing, I have often thought that he was using me (or my pics or special bedroom skills) as bait for cock. It is what it is, neither good or bad. Mostly the guys say they are into bi stuff but they aren't. I like that you never plan it, it just happens, but it sounds like its been too long for you.

JFBreak said...

It has been way too long, but it takes both people in the couple to want to have a third join them. There is still hope. I think in the right spontaneous moment, my wife could surprise me.

Until then, I read a lot of blogs!