Saturday, January 9, 2016

Saturday Morning Notes

Topic 1:  JD and my wife.  Yes, the texting continues and as Alan commented, I do think a threesome is in the future though, it may come in a round about fashion.  It makes my wife giggle that JD and I are trading occasional messages about this topic, though she is still unaware that I instigated the whole thing.  But in terms of disclosure between consenting adults, we are all in on the fact that pictures are being sent, JD is jacking it furiously, and ultimately, we all know that this ends up in bed.  Will I be present?  Anybody's guess.  I'm guessing no.  I'm travelling for work next week and something tells me I may get some pictures in my inbox.  And I'm good with that.

Topic 2: My current obsession with escorts.  After my post about paying for it, I mentioned that I found great interest in looking at the local listings for escorts and the like.  Don't get me wrong, I view this as just another version of looking at pictures on Tumblr.  The difference is, if I wanted, I could pay to see these people in person (for 80 Roses for a half hour).  By the way, would a prosecutor not be able to make an easy case that when they say "roses" they mean "dollars"?

I know I'm somehow broken in some way. And as The Internet Therapist tells me, I may have a need to fix people.  It's called the savior complex.  This would explain why when I see a particular advertisement, my first thought isn't, "Damn, I'd like to bang her," but instead it's, "I bet she would make a good wife and I would take care of her and she would tell me about all the guys she fucks for 80 Roses."

Topic 3:  And in other broken news... I'm going to send a letter to Dr. Drew.  He tells us that any pre-pubescent kid who engages in apparent sexual activity (even if the kid does not realize it is sexual) is probably doing so as a result of sexual abuse.  I can see that.  For instance, if a 12 year old girl decided on her own to be an escort, there is a good chance she was abused and sees the behavior of sex for something as a normal thing at that age.  My problem is this: I don't think I was sexually abused and yet, I have extremely vivid memories of acting out in a sexual way at an extremely early age, and on into Junior high school.  I'm assuming that by then, whatever marker I had for the "dysfunction" I have now (likes to share wife, likes to fantasize about marrying hookers, whips out dick at inappropriate times, and the list goes on), could have been a result of those antics I was engaging in in Elementary school and before.

To be very clear, I've searched my memory (for years) and do not have any recollection of being molested.  In fact, in my memories, I always seem to be the instigator.  I think one indicator would be that if I tried to instigate things with younger kids - say I was in forth grade and tried to play doctor with a kid in second.  That might be a learned behavior indicating that an older kid molested me.  But, that was never the case.  I always played these games with peers, and for the most part, they were just as into the game as me.

It's funny though, because I realize that I had some sort of radar that could tell me that a kid was not a viable "playmate".

I just wonder.  How many of you engaged in some sort of pre-pubescent play - playing doctor where one kid pulls down his pants so the other kid can do an exam.  Or blatant, let's look at each other's naughty parts.   Am I the only one who grabbed the baby sitter's tits?  Am I the only one who proudly showed my erection to other 4th graders?

I look forward to your comments.  Have a great weekend!


Bruce Chang said...

So my earliest memories of the whole Doctor thing was when I was six or seven with the neighborhood boy. We would loudly exclaim that we were gonna take a piss and then go to the bathroom to compare and touch and roll around hugging naked. And I distinctly telling him to put it in his mouth but he refused and then told me to do it to his. I refused also. And for some reason, after that our experimentations petered out. Was I molested? I'm not sure. I do know that I secretly spied on my dad when he watched porn, though, so I'm sure some of my ideas were from that. But I also remember being really embarrassed when my uncles came over to drink and party and then call me over to ask how big my birdie was. They did it just to get me to blush but they also pointed at it or touched it to make it specific as if I didn't understand what they were asking. And yeah, the combo of the two probably had led to some unhealthy/unconventional sexual behaviors but it wasn't that traumatic...

JFBreak said...

Bruce - I think anyone would consider the actions of your uncle to be inappropriate. Likewise, I've had friends tell me that their parents never hid porn. While none of these things seem like growing up in The Cleaver family, I don't think it is abuse per se. Who knows? I just don't see how little kids exploring their bodies with each other MUST be the result of some sort of molestation. Perhaps if our society was more open about sex in the first place, the kids wouldn't be so curious.

Mike said...

I can remember a childhood friend who's parents owned a beach house. Every summer I would go and spend a week with them. This friend and I were probably 12 or 13 and we would shower together (outdoor shower) after coming in from the beach. We'd rinse off, and take our bathing suits off...Naturally our cocks would get erect (anything gets a 13 year old's cock hard, lol)

We would point and laugh at each other's dicks...occasionally we would talk about the best jerk off methods. We never touched each other though. he had a great mom, and one day she asked if we had any questions about sex. We always were curious about how you knew not to pee in a woman when the time came (yes, weird question, but damn it, we wanted to know!). She laughed and said don't worry...your body automatically knows not to do that.

funny memory.