Tuesday, November 22, 2016

More Gay than Bi?

A reader left an anonymous comment in regards to the recent IGHIH post.  Anon wrote,
"Dude, you're more gay than bi."
I did respond to the comment but thought it was worth my time to post it on its own.  I don't mind the comment and I don't feel bad that someone would offer their opinion, but I have to admit, I saw it right before I was walking into my office and because I was not able to respond until after work, it left me a bit frazzled.  Anyway, this is my response.

I think given the the post, I would have come to this same conclusion if I were reading it when I was fifteen or maybe even twenty.  I mean, there was a time in my life where, in spite of my own internal struggles with what flipped my switch, I had this outward thought process (shared with most males my age, and our fathers and uncles and the older men who made up our society), that if you did something deemed gay, that made you gay.

A guy gets raped in prison.  Sorry dude, you're gay.  Okay, maybe not.

A guy gets drunk and on a dare sucks his friends dick.  He is sick afterwards and feels horrible but sorry, gay.

Later in life I learned that there was something called Bi and even then I was still confused.  I saw Bi as someone who could have sex and relationships with both men and women.  But as I came to accept my own label, I wondered as Anonymous seems to believe, if I was Bi now, Gay later.  In fact, many people who take on the label of Gay first started out as Bi.  As Dan Savage tells us, even he slept with women and identified as Bi when he first came out.

But for me, I wondered if I could or would make that transition.  It didn't scare me and if I was all the way Gay, fine. I say that of course discounting the fact that I'm not even all the way out as Bi, but still, what is the point of denying it to yourself even if you deny to a lot of the people you know?

There's only one slight problem.  If we insist on the label, how do I discount the fact that I crave women.  All the time.  In fact, on a daily basis you might see me as a pervy junior high boy gawking at boobies and asses and beautiful faces and eyes and at any given moment making a mental judgement on whether or not that particular pussy would taste wonderful or just good.

Add to that the fact that I have a very limited scope of interest in guys.  I don't look at GQ magazine and drool. The guys that interest me are not your typical eye candy, per se.  More importantly, at least at this point in my life, in spite of my wide swath of interests in genitalia, I can't see myself taking up with and engaging in a romantic relationship with a man.

I know, it really doesn't matter.  My intent in even answering the question is not because I'm thin-skinned or feel the need to somehow "defend" my selected label.  But as an example, I have a friend who is truly, 100 percent, not even Bi, just plain Gay.  Yet, at any given party, you will find him kissing women, and if they will let him, playing with their boobies.  Should we force him to take the label Bi?  Clearly, no.  The man gags at the mere description of eating pussy.

Call me what you want. I'm comfortable with Bi, flexible, sexual, whatever.  More Gay than Bi, I don't think so.  But, if there is some sort of official measuring stick that says I am, I'm okay with that.


Pancho said...

So wait, I'm not eye candy? My fragile ego is shattered hahaha

Too many labels these days anyway. LGBTQ, Q for queer or questioning wth...

I think I like trysexual, I'll try anything if it feels good...

alanbryant156@yahoo.com said...

I agree with Pancho, I think trysexual should be a label if every one has to be labeled. Why would a person not be a trysexual? You should try out all the possibilities to find out what you like. Why limit yourself to just one thing. I have tried pretty much every option and frankly I liked them all.

JFBreak said...

@Pancho - Eye candy in your pants!

@Alan - If we had more of these trysexuals, wouldn't the world be a better place?