I don't know why I missed the ding of my phone as I was driving but when I stopped into a store on the way home, I realized I had missed a handful of messages from my wife. No words, just pictures of JD's dick in her mouth, between her tits, on her stomach.
I sent a note back, "Still there?"
She responded, "Drinking a beer."
I had missed my chance to join in but in truth, I'm good with that. Compersion is that feeling of joy you get when your partner experiences pleasure. It really is the opposite of jealousy,
Later that evening, my wife asked me if I wanted to get off. I felt the urge but I was also tired. She told me she was sorry I didn't make it in home in time to do that thing I like to do, but I said it was fine.
I truly don't have to be present to feel included as long as she tells me about it or sends pictures. She asked what I do with the pictures. Do I jack off? Not really. I look at them and just enjoy the moment.
If someone had not come up with this term, compersion, to describe the feeling, I'm not sure I could ever explain it.
I've never really been into the current stereotype of "cuckold" which you will find in porn or on a lot of sex blogs and forums these days. I just don't need the whole concept of this humiliated, sissified, wimp of a husband who helplessly watches the stronger bull fuck his wife. I mean, by definition, I am a cuckold, but I prefer to think of our relationship as the Hotwife variety. Or, how about simply stating that we are open to a non-traditional arrangement.
We have fun when the three of us, me, my wife and our friend JD, get together. There is a lot of laughter, playfulness and of course, pleasure.
The idea that when the two of them are alone, they have a different experience together, doesn't escape me, nor does it bother me. I'm simply not jealous of that time. Yet, this confuses my wife. She bends over backwards to initiate the conversation afterwards. Do I have questions, concerns, am I still okay. Do I need different pictures, do I want them to do or not do a particular thing when I'm not present.
I have come to a realization and my wife is frank about the fact that there are things JD does for her that I cannot. I accept this and instead of feeling less of a husband, I'm actually pretty happy that I am open to her having the pleasure JD provides her.
This compersion is something that more couples could use to make a stronger relationship. Imagine if a wife did not get upset upon learning that on a business trip, her husband used a sex worker to engage in a kink that she herself does not offer on the menu? What if instead she encouraged that behavior? The wife won't blow him, but if he can have that occasional BJ away from her, aren't they both much happier?
When I come home and my wife tells me that she spanked JD so hard she left welts on his ass, I'm happy for both of them. I'm good with light slaps to the balls, but I have no desire to give or receive such punishment to my ass cheeks. Are we not all then benefiting from this arrangement?
Interestingly, I heard a conversation on one of the podcasts I follow where they just mentioned casually that open relationships are becoming more and more open. That is to say that, society is realizing that this is more than just some 1960's free love thing for hippies, but that more people are openly admitting to and recognizing the value of these arrangements, however they manifest themselves.
In the past week we've watched House of Cards and Orange is the New Black. Everyone knows that Claire Underwood, the President's wife has a lover, with the his complete acceptance. In one of my favorite scenes this season, Frank confronts his wife's lover and says, "Don't cheat on my wife."
And on OITNB, there were two story lines following polyamorous arrangements, One, a woman with a husband and a much younger lover, another a Muslim woman who in flashbacks relives her husband taking on a younger second wife that she herself instigated.
We can all agree that Hollywood tends to push the envelop in a way that some people argue "forces" lifestyles on us, but to those of us living this situation, it doesn't seem forced at all.
For now, JD is a fixture in our relationship. Our time with him is very limited, which I think all three of us agree is both frustrating but good. Where I originally approached this from the perverted aspect of getting off on seeing my wife with another guy, something I've enjoyed nearly the entire tenure of our marriage, I now grasp the emotional value of this relief valve for all of us. This is nothing to be jealous of for me.
Happy to watch, happy to hear about it,