This has been a really weird week. I’ve posted a few re-posts just because I’ve been struggling with the occasional writers block that comes up. I do appreciate the comments, by the way,
Oh, I have plenty to write about, but when I sit down I just lose that urge. So as I sit in the parking lot of a tire change shop, waiting my turn to have them change my oil, I’m going to jot down a few notes.
I guess the first thing I should explain is why I get my oil changed at the tire shop. In San Antonio you can’t go five miles on the south or west sides of town without passing these brightly painted yellow shops that will fix a flat for $3. Well, if these guys will fix a flat for three bucks, you know they will change your oil for a few more dollars. So, I go to the auto parts store and buy the oil I like and a filter, stop at the tire shop and give the guy a twenty, and we are done.
You recall the Intern. Several of you expected her to be the one that got me tossed into jail. She is no longer an intern but her and her hubby came by last weekend and we had a few drinks. Yea, that’s an understatement. We had a great time. Her and her hubs are great folks and I like that she is cool to flirt but is totally not open to me fucking her.
That’s important because once I know that I have zero chance with getting in a lady’s pants, I feel free to be myself and still flirt.
So as we finished a bottle of some drink I wouldn’t normaly drink, my wife wanted to take pictures of us together. Me and the intern. The intern and me.
We posed together. Her arm was around my waist. My hand was on her ass. I gave her a squeeze and she giggled.
We posed more but our arms were over each other’s shoulders. Those were the pics that made my wife’s FB page.
Later, my wife said, “It doesn’t matter to me but did you grab her ass?”
Of course I lied.
She knows I lied and I know I lied. And I know she knows I lied. Because I know she mentioned the whole thing to her boyfriend, JD.
My thought process is this. When it comes to me and my “stuff”, she has said she doesn’t want to know. Strictly don’t ask, don’t tell. So in this case, I should have immediately said, yep, grabbed a chunk of that ass for the picture and been done with it. But I’m so stuck on not telling that I was caught off guard by her asking. Still, this is my wrong and I have to eventually own up to it, which I did.
The next day I sent a note to the intern and thanked her for coming by then apologized for grabbing her ass. She told me she was good with it and not to give it another thought. She also reminded me that if she had been upset about it, I’d be nursing a black eye. She wasn’t kidding.
But playing assgrabber isn’t the only issue this week.
Last Friday I fucked up for real. I meant to suggest to my wife that we engage in lovemaking before we go out to the hot tub. What I actually said instead was, “Do you want to get it over with now.”
Yea, I’m a total fuck up.
It’s the following Friday afternoon as I write this (from the tire shop) and we still haven’t had sex.
I should point out that I finished my business at the tire shop and we are now fast forwarding to dinner.
I got home from the tire shop and took my wife out for dinner, I mentioned that I told the Intern that my wife accused me of grabbing her ass.
“You did grab my ass you asshole!”
Of course I did, said myself as Harvey Weinstein, that sick fuck.
“But it’s cool. You can grab my ass.”
But instead I just told my wife that she did tell me I was an asshole and I did grab her ass.
My wife laughed at me for trying to act like I was clueless that I grabbed the Intern’s ass but she was happy to believe the Intern was oblivious to it at the time.
People, this is why fucked up men like me get away with sexual harassment. I’m just saying. Even if I only do it to women who are cool with it, and I seem to have a way of sensing that, I need to cut it out. Granted, I don't like the current state of every single act is some form of micro-aggression and we put simple jerks on the same level as actual rapists, but yea, that whole grabbing of the ass was not a normal thing I do, and I don't need to be doing it any more.
So my wife and I get home and get in the hot tub. She was clearly in a better mood now that the ass grabbing incident was behind us. But there was still the matter of the unfortunate wording I used the last Friday. You know, the part about getting it over with. And I'll save everyone some reading - no, we didn't have sex Friday night.
The weird thing is, I've been amped up all week. I've had three failed attempts at meeting with the young couple I've been seeing. The issue is, my availability is only good if I leave work a little early. They on the other hand have to be available and be sure they have someone to watch kids. In each case either I got delayed at work or they had an issue that prevented them from meeting. But we all understand and there are no hurt feelings.
I sent the husband a link to a page on Tumbler, the girls of Walmart or something. From this, we concluded that it would be hot to have us meet at Walmart and have her flash me. I'm game. But we just haven't had a time to do it.
Anyway - back to the matter at hand. We'll see if I can work my way back into my wife's good graces. I'm not going to lie, yes, I can be a real jerk but the truth is, my wife can be a real bitch. (I can see Aunt Clara nodding her head in agreement). We deserve each other.