Break Out

Ending the Sexual Dark Age - a podcast

2012-02-09T06:23:00.001-06:00

I downloaded a series of Podcasts from iTunes from a guy named J.V. Altharas called Ending the Sexual Dark Age. You can download it from his web page too.

I listened to the first podcast where he gave his mission statement. The first impression I got from his voice was that he sounded like the guy who announces the next stripper coming up on stage two at a club. But once I got past that, I found that this guy knows his shit and tells it like it is.

J.V. delivers an eyeopening and entertaining show and like the Savage Lovecast (which I also just love), he has a phone number where people can call in and leave questions or comments.

If you are looking for something new to listen to on your drive to work, consider downloading J.V.'s podcast.

Forgotten Toys...

2012-02-07T06:05:00.003-06:00

A few nights ago we were in bed watching the news when my wife made her move. She playfully fondled my dick and asked if I felt like playing. Before I could answer, she rolled over to her side of the bed and reached into the drawer with the toys. "Which one should we use?"

There was the new Rabbit that still smells weird - "I think I'm going to boil this rabbit" she joked. And there was the standby slender vibe that we have gotten such good use out of over the years. By chance, she grabbed a cock ring that I had completely forgotten about.

I searched all the usual sex toy web pages and couldn't find an exact picture of it, but basically, this is a gel filled cock ring with a rabbit on the top end and a tiny nub on the bottom end. So the man slides this thing down his penis to the base of his dick, then when the woman climbs on, she has the rabbit pressing her clit area and the little nub pokes her butt! There is a small controller connected by a thin wire that allows you to control the speed of the vibration.

For the life of me, I couldn't remember that we even had this thing or why we had not used it with any regularity. My dick was mostly erect when I started to slide it on and it occurred to me, that the ring was a really tight fit. Look, we all know I don't have a huge wiener, but I guess I'm as thick as the next guy. Perhaps the reason I couldn't find a picture of this device online is, it was made too small and discontinued!

Anyway, as soon as I had gotten the ring on as far down as it would go, my wife climbed on top of me and eased herself down onto the little rabbit. She had to adjust a few times, but like magic, it hit her button and she was off to the races. My wife is one of those lucky women who cums very quickly and probably 98 percent of the time we fuck, regardless of how crappy a or uncooperative a lover I may be. She is blessed. I don't want to exaggerate, but the guy on the news didn't even get the 3-day weather forecast out before she was cumming, extremely loudly. Thank god we live out in the woods!

It took her several more minutes to calm down before she playfully yelled, "Why the hell haven't we been using that thing?"

And I suspect we will be using it more!

Another One Gone...

2012-02-03T06:20:00.002-06:00

I read this morning that one of my current favorite bloggers, The Missus, is shutting down her blog. It wasn't because she was just tired or didn't have the time or feel motivated to continue, but it was because someone made the connection between her sex blog and her vanilla blog. That is something a lot of bloggers, myself included fear. Getting an e-mail from a person asking if you, the vanilla person are also the same person that shares intimate details of your sex life on this other blog. And I bet, 90 percent of the time, the person has no malicious intent. But the thought of someone spamming the comments section of a g-rated blog with links to the explicit one is not a fun thought.

I've mentioned before that I do have a G-rated blog that has far few followers than this one. There are several people - either followers here or people who read this blog but don't have their avatar posted on the little panel to the right - that know about both blogs. I'm comfortable that those in the know won't cross post and cause me to close shop. But that fear is still there from time to time, and I just move on.

I have been following Hubman's Hangout for a month or two now and I appreciate that he and his wife Veronica are so open. I actually had seen his wife's blog as a link off of one of the Mommy bloggers I follow and thought she was mighty saucy, but mostly just a vanilla mommy blogger. I suspect that this couple has no fear whatsoever in being "outed" as swingers, since they are so open about it. That seems like a good place to be in. But at least for now, it isn't for me.

I have a need to share the things I post on this blog, but I also enjoy posting pictures and such from my family life on another blog. The two themes just don't mix, for the most part. To those of you who visit both blogs, thanks, but please don't share!

Shameless: And Inadequate...

2012-01-30T06:19:00.002-06:00

I'm talking about Shameless, the Showtime show that comes on Sunday nights. I just love this family.

Anyway, we watched last night and out of nowhere, the actor Zach McGowen who plays the fiancee of Lip's girlfriend (if you need to ask, you haven't seen the show) is standing there in the nude with this enormous flaccid cock. Hey, I'm a grower not a shower, but I'm hoping they used some sort of trick Photoshop editing because that guy's dick is larger flaccid than I am fully erect.

(from Shameless, Season 2)

And then they show it again a few scenes later while Emmy is hiding under the table with her father Frank (you just need to see the show to understand) and Mr. Enormous makes an appearance once again. The look on her face is priceless.

A Younger Man

2012-01-29T07:03:00.005-06:00

Our last encounter - bringing another guy into our bedroom - was years ago. Our kids had become too old not to figure out that if there were voices coming from our bedroom and there were more than just the voices of my wife and me, there had to be someone else in there. And if the door was closed and locked with the lights out, it must mean something odd was going on. During one of our last encounters at home, my daughter in her early teens at the time walked downstairs to the giggles of my wife letting our friend fondle her breasts. Thankfully, she didn't actually see anything, but she had to wonder what was actually going on. We knew it was time to knock it off.

The immediate question most people would have is, why not go to a hotel or go to the other guy's house? A fair question, for sure. But with every couple, there is a series of mind games which must be played in order to feel good about doing this. For me, I am so wide open to the possibilities and logistics of how these encounters might occur. I'd be good with my wife going out alone to meet a friend and coming home to report the results, or us going to a club where naughty things happen in a dark corner or a parking lot. I'd be happy with a hotel room or meeting a friend at his house. My wife has always been a different story. She cannot plan for one of these encounters. It is an unknown as to whether or not we will get our freak on with another guy until she feels the mood. We never really put a circle on a date of the calendar and said on this date, so and so will come over and we will have a threesome. So, the long and the short of it is, when it became clear that we could not engage in spontaneous orgies at our home, we were done.

Our kids have long ago left the roost and we don't get many unexpected guests where we live, so really, if we had the urge, there is nothing stopping us. If a potential partner was at our home, there would not be a built in excuse not to play.

So backing up to when we were still active in the game, my wife managed a fast food restaurant and worked with mostly high school and college aged kids, young mothers and guys who were trying to figure out what their place in life might be. Her exposure to these young people kept her knowledgeable in the ways of the teenage crowd, and believe me, the things she learned would help her deal with the things our own kids would deal with later in high school. She made many long term friendships and constantly had former employees stopping in to see her just to say hi and catch up.

There was one kid in particular who stayed close to her even after he left for the military and she quit work and became a full time homemaker. JW seems like a reasonable name to call him. JW had been to our house many times and I really liked him. Due to my experience in the military, he often asked me for advice about his own pending career, and he would continue to ask my wife for advice about his various girlfriends. When he finally did leave for the military, he stayed in touch via e-mail and a few times he came home on leave, he would come by the house to catch up.

What I had not known initially was that my wife had confided in JW about our sexual secrets. I don't think she gave him any detailed accounts, but she did say that I had this thing about watching her with other guys. When she confessed to me that she had told him, I was immediately turned on (of course). By now, the kid was in his early twenties, why not have a little fun with a younger guy? Of course, he was stationed overseas, so the idea of an actual hook-up was non-existent.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. My wife reported that JW has left the military and is back in town looking to get a job and start his life. He has a young daughter from a failed relationship and is probably close to 30. He is still a young man to us.

My wife hasn't invited him over to the house yet. What happens if he comes out, we have a few beers and someone mentions the hot tub? Could I stop myself from suggesting we go in without suits? Could I resist the urge to suggest he finally have a chance to touch and fondle the tits that he has dreamed of sucking on since he was a teenager? And could my wife resist the urge to ride his dick once she actually sees it?

The problem with this whole "Hotwife" or cuckold fetish is that very often, your fantasies about how different scenarios might play out hit too close to reality. They have had this very close e-mail relationship over the years based on what was once a boss-subordinate mentor-ship sort of thing. As many times as JW has asked her to send pictures of her tits to him, I wonder if either of them have considered how that leap might change the friendship. The one thing we do know is that logistics is no longer a barrier. There is no reason for us not to play with JW, if the mood for her is right and if he is game. I already know that I'm game.

The Matchmaker...

2012-01-26T06:18:00.003-06:00

I am the total matchmaker. I arranged for Co-Worker A to meet and have a date with the most smoking hot woman in our organization. And I'm feeling pretty good about it.

No need to go into details, but suffice it to say, I used my charm and wit to nudge these two people who had never met before into having lunch together. Now they are both thanking me.

I look at it this way; if I can't suck his dick or go down on her, at least the two of them ought to enjoy some good times.

Malciferated Rabbit

2012-01-25T06:22:00.002-06:00

I mentioned that I had purchased a Rabbit for my wife for Christmas this year in an earlier post. There is a problem with it though and I wonder if anyone else has experienced this. The thing stinks! No, not like unwashed month old pussy juice, but there is a sort of petroleum smell to it.

When we opened up the packaging, I could smell it, but it was sort of that rubbery smell that you might get from toys (kids toys) like balls or even some dolls. And of course, before the first use, it was thoroughly washed.

We got to playing with it the first time, mostly me using it on my wife and finally her taking over to get to know it better. I could see the beginning of a very good friendship, but within about ten minutes, there was no hiding the fact that the smell of soap used to pre-clean the rabbit was being overtaken by that weird rubbery, petroleum smell. It was time to fuck anyway, so she just tossed the smelly rabbit aside.

We have the toys in a small lock box in the nightstand drawer next to her side of the bed. Gee, Mom, I wonder what could be in there? Anyway, the next few times she reached over to grab the rabbit during sex, there was that smell. Washing with soap and hot water has not worked. Taking it back is not an option - I'd rather eat the $50 then walk into a sex store and say, "Hey, smell my rabbit."

Has anyone experienced this? Any suggestions?

A New Look

2012-01-24T06:27:00.001-06:00

I have been messing around with the Blogger template the past few days. The colors are different and I have moved all of my important sex links to a separate tab. Most importantly, I have written an About tab which tells a little bit more about me. Your comments are appreciated.

Old Friends...

2012-01-15T07:20:00.000-06:00

A buddy of mine, probably my best friend from junior high and high school, brought his wife to San Antonio to see his step-son graduate from boot camp. This is a second marriage for both of them, but they have known each other since high school. I think I have mentioned it before, but I come from south Florida. Tampa is nothing like San Antonio.

It has been 30 years since I have seen my friend. In spite of the many times I have been back home to visit family, I have never bothered to look up him or others. I go, spend time with my folks, do touristy things with my wife and kids and leave. I have always blamed it on not having time, but that is only half the truth. The other part is that there is a fear of finding that I have changed so much or that the other person has changed so much that the memories of the good times are somehow ruined. I know that sounds bad, but how often do you have a friend who has suddenly become "born again" now you feel as though you have nothing in common? It is one thing to meet a person and they are extremely religious already. Your relationship with them grows based upon your personality and theirs. It is different when one of the people in a relationship has a dramatic change. It doesn't have to be religion, it could be weight loss or coming out of the closet or whatever. That dynamic is hard enough on a current friendship, it can be catastrophic on a friendship that has been locked away for 30 years.

So enough of my excuses. Thanks to Facebook, my buddy got ahold of me and we had them over for dinner. It really was a great time and he and I really clicked right away. Several times throughout the evening, we slipped away from our wives to talk alone - not so much private matters, but just to be away from their conversation. We shared stories and looked at pictures and honestly, I felt like a complete idiot for not making an effort to see this guy considering I had been back to see my folks not even a few months ago.

But there was something. During a conversation that night, my friends wife was thumbing through my high school yearbook looking for pictures and for some reason, she pointed out a guy who, just by looking at the picture, you could tell the guy was gay. I recognized the face, but we had a huge high school. She reported that the guy had died from AIDS not even 7 or 8 years after graduation. I thought she was pointing this out in the context of the conversation that a lot of people from our class had died since then. I tried not to even think about the hair that was raising on the back of my neck.

A few days later, we met them for breakfast at a diner in downtown San Antonio near one of the local colleges and in an area that is coincidentally very gay-friendly. There are numerous gay clubs and openly gay-run restaurants in that part of town. We don't eat there because we are trying to make a political statement; we just like the food.

The first thing they did as our Hispanic waitress was trying to take our drink order and as I sat with my Hispanic wife, was to talk about all the Mexicans that had been in the restaurant they ate at the previous night and how they felt like they needed a translator. San Antonio is roughly 60 percent Hispanic. Go figure. They never even thought it was odd that they were making this comment in front of my wife, as if she was somehow "not one of them" since she had married me, a white guy.

Then a lesbian couple walked by the window in front of diner. Both my friend and his wife's eyes seemed to explode out of their heads in cartoon-like fashion as if they had just seen a three-headed green alien with huge balls walk by. I explained to them that San Antonio is a very gay-friendly town and the significance of where we were within the city. And then I tried to redirect the conversation to their son who had just graduated from basic.

But another gay couple walked by. The wife was visibly freaking out, as if there are no gay people in Tampa. So my wife starts to mention that we have many friends who happen to be gay. I jump in and start describing these various couples we know and how our friendships are rewarding and normal and the fact that they are gay never is an issue - they are just normal people who happen to be gay. The friend's wife actually put her face in her hands and was saying that she just couldn't imagine it. How would they be able to come over to the house fir Thanksgiving, for instance? What about the kids? We both laughed. It isn't like they have sex in front of us, my wife pointed out.

Just then, several more lesbian couples came in and took their seats throughout the diner. We finished up our breakfast and I took the bill. I didn't want them to have to endure being exposed to a bunch of gay people and then have to pay for it.

As I said, Tampa is nothing like San Antonio. Yes, there may be a lot of Cuban influence in the style and culture, but for the most part, that part of Florida is still filled with a lot of prejudices of the south. White ladies may have enjoyed watching Oprah, but that did not necessarily translate into striking up a conversation with a black woman at the grocery store. And golfers may have fully accepted Tiger, but unless you are a really good golfer, please keep your distance.

Of course, I'm generalizing and that is wrong. I'm just saying that had I not been so heavily influenced by the military, and by that forced integration of people from all over the map and every ethnicity imaginable, I may very well have been trapped in that same close minded racist, homophobic environment. I'm sure there are many progressive thinking people in the part of Florida that I come from, but my good friend and his wife apparently have not been exposed to them.

We drove home and chuckled about how weird the whole thing was. My wife loved meeting my friends, and aside from the obvious discomfort of their views on gays and Hispanics, she thought they seemed nice, and she enjoyed getting a peek into my youth.

I won't cut ties with this friend. The next time I go home, I will look him up. I want to try to have as much positive influence on these people as I can. Every little bit helps.

Dear Dan Savage...

2012-01-13T06:24:00.000-06:00

My letter to Dan Savage that I probably won't ever send.

Dear Dan Savage,

I am a 48 year-old, happily married, possibly bi man. Over the last few months, I have downloaded every single one of your Savage Love Casts and you and your callers to the show have been the only thing I have listened to each morning as I have driven to work, each afternoon while driving home from work, and each evening as I walked on the treadmill. This intensive immersion into the problems, advice, information, and overall mind-opening that your experience and wisdom offers for free has had an incredible impact on my own personal wellness. In short, I could not possibly have had so many personal questions about myself explored or answered if I had spent two years lying on the couch in some head shrinks office answering the question, "and how does that make you feel?" So many of my own assumptions and attitudes have been shattered by hearing your point of view with regard to common everyday relationship questions. You have changed many of the conditions that I will require when making decisions on who I will support politically. You have changed how I perceive my Internet habits, removing the occasional guilt I had for discretely writing about sex on a personal blog and of course, enjoying porn without providing every detail to my wife.

Based on your response to a caller who said he was really interested in performing oral on another guy but was not otherwise interested in any other gay stuff, I'm starting to question whether or not I'm even bisexual. I too love the aspect of blowing (or being blown) by other guys, but as I have maintained as long as I've accepted this part of my sexuality, I have no interest in dating or having a romantic relationship with a man. I suppose a truly bisexual person would entertain committed relationships with either male or female partners; all I want to do is have sex with both. Just at a time when I have become most comfortable in taking on the label of "bi", perhaps I'm just a horny straight guy open to all sorts of sex. I guess the question is, have I been misunderstanding what it is to be officially labeled (I hate labels) bisexual?

This whole issue is fairly important, to me anyway, because I have not come out to my family (other than my wife) as bi and have felt somewhat guilty about not showing support for my gay and lesbian friends by doing so. For me, my interests in the bi-side have been pretty much a sexual interest and the only social impact of it to me is the opinion of others. Unlike the case of two gay people who are denied certain rights, me wanting to engage in occasional dick sucking with other consenting adults does not have any impact on my right to be married, how I file my taxes or the benefits I receive at my job. For the last near decade that I have come to accept for myself who I think I am (a bisexual), I have felt like I should come out to support the cause of other bi and gay folks, if only to prove to the straight public that they really do know people who are GLBT.

What do I really feel? I feel that my interest in MM sex is simply a kink for me. No different than my turn-on of threesomes or the fact that I am hugely turned on by the whole Hot Wife scenario. I would never share with my kids or my parents or my boss, the fact that my wife and I have engaged in threesomes, so why is important to share that I have sucked a few dicks over time? We don't announce in a family newsletter that my wife has a box full of vibrators (including a butt-plug that feels so wonderful in my ass) or the provide statistics on the number of times we have sex each year, so why is this one aspect of my sexuality important to be known to others?

I guess this is my question and my dilemma. Am I bisexual or am I just a kinky straight guy with wider boundaries than your typically straight male?

Dan Savage may not answer my question, but if any readers have thoughts or comments, I'd love your opinions.

Work Gossip...

2012-01-09T06:20:00.000-06:00

So this is one of the risks of trying to be a little more open about the whole bi thing among friends and co-workers. Idle chatter tends to spread the secret. This isn't the first time I have been in this situation, and of course, this is why people always argue that you should never share any of your personal sexual details with people at work.

Years ago, I had more than one co-worker approach me in private and try to tell me that my wife was having an affair with a fellow co-worker. Well, yea, she was fucking him alright, but they missed the part that I was there in bed with them! I am usually a nervous guy when confronted with anything. I could never be a good bank robber because would fold as soon as the police put the bright light on me and started asking questions. But when it comes to this or rather, these secrets, I have somehow mustered the ability to redirect the conversation without so much as a hair rising on the back of my neck.

On Friday, I was standing outside my office door preparing to leave when a small gaggle of co-workers mingled. My boss stood in the doorway of his office contemplating his departure. The conversation about Co-Worker A and a prank some of the young NCO's were planning to play on him came up. As people chuckled and such, one guy looked at me and said, "You gotta keep fucking with [Co-worker A], he's convinced you want him to suck your dick." and he busted out laughing. My boss who wasn't necessarily engaged in the discussion at this point perked up and suddenly asked, "He said what?"

Before any response could be made, I quickly diverted the conversation by highlighting a different practical joke that had been played previously, causing everyone to begin chatting about the details of that hilarious prank. It was one of those, "These are not the droids you are looking for" moments that made me feel confident long enough to exit gracefully, then feel my knees wobble as I walked out the door and into the parking lot.

The fact of the matter is, I have no idea what discussion transpired after I left on Friday afternoon. I have no idea what conversations Co-worker A may have had with others, and frankly, how did it come out that I wanted him to suck my dick when, sure that'd be great, but I actually want to suck him!

So this morning, I'll walk into work and have to play it as it comes. I'm less worried about being outed as bisexual to co-workers than I am having my boss question why I'm having conversations about sex at work, which of course is the point. I've had these little private conversations (usually with women) for so long, that it seems okay. In reality, it could be quite embarrassing and I need to knock it off.

Details to follow, I suppose.

I Never Liked Sex in Water Anyway...

2012-01-07T07:33:00.000-06:00

A very long time ago - probably a decade or more - a friend of mine told me about a party he and his wife hosted at their home. It was just a get together, perhaps to watch a game or cook-out, but as is sometimes the case, it turned into sex. This couple had a very nice home with pool and built in Jacuzzi that could accommodate 8 to ten people. The back yard was secluded so there was no worries of neighbors and as the alcohol flowed, the inhibitions did and suddenly, my friend found himself and his wife nude with others. This wasn't their first time, of course. There wasn't much more detail to the story aside from him reporting that he performed oral on a younger lady as his wife watched and he told me at one point, he looked up at his wife and said, "[Wife's name], this is so delicious, you have to try it."

This story fueled my Internet porn searches for years. I was suddenly interested in pictures taken of people in Jacuzzis, especially if there was a group and you could see that it was a party that got out of hand. Pictures of guys eating a girl with her swim suit pulled aside or two guys sitting on the edge as a girl blows one and has her hand on the other. This stuff made me so eager to want a sex party in my own Jacuzzi.

Our Jacuzzi is no stranger to nekkid sex fun. I clean the filter often and use all the right chemicals, but I'd totally understand if you came to my house and didn't want to climb right in! I do realize it is just the thrill of doing it outdoors where a neighbor might drive by and notice. Or perhaps when we leave the lights on and go at it, someone might be walking a dog and catch a glimpse.

But sex in the tub in general is not that great, in my mind. Last night, we went out for our usual soak in the tub. I had nothing on my mind but relaxing. We never bother with swim suits, but it doesn't mean sex is on the agenda. But it was on my wife's mind. Long story short, after directing a jet onto my dick and balls, my wife got my attention and we were soon maneuvering ourselves into various positions to figure out how best to take advantage of the jets, and the architecture of the tub itself. You can place your legs on various seats and shelves not unlike an experienced teen can figure out the best position in the back seat of an old Camaro.

The problem is, fucking in water is like sex with rubber. Not sex with a rubber, but sex with rubber. To me, it just makes things difficult. I realized last night that it wasn't the visual of having sex in the Jacuzzi, it was the visual crated when bodies were exposed above and around the Jacuzzi. The guys getting the blow jobs are always sitting on the edge. The girl being eaten is hoisted up above the water. And the sex that I really wanted would have involved my wife lifting her as fully out of the water, her large boobs hanging freely over the edge and perhaps a lucky neighbor walking by (not likely) seeing her tits swing freely as I pounded her from behind.

We tried a half dozen different positions in the tub and finally, both agreed we'd rather retreat to the bedroom. And we did.

2012: Starting Fresh...

2012-01-02T07:40:00.000-06:00

Back in August, I posted a blog about infidelity and jealousy and the details of my son's incredibly jealous wife. If you don't care to go back and read it, the gist of it is, my son got a girl pregnant, married her, and in spite of trying to be a good husband and father, the wife has made him totally miserable from her unfounded jealousy and borderline psychotic behavior. Of course, his family situation has created strain for my wife and I.

In spite of the fact that my son has filed for divorce, he still is in his house with the crazy nutcase and their child. If the divorce actually happens is anyones guess, but my wife and I have decided that it is best if we simply wash our hands of the entire mess. Of course, we will always support our son and regardless of what he decides to do with his life, we will always love him. I firmly believe that the reward for good parenting is supposed to be that your kids grow up, move out and you get to enjoy your mid-life crises alone in the presence of your spouse with no kids around. Some people want to get in the Jacuzzi nekkid, or invite adults over to swing. Some just want some peace and quiet while they watch TV. Whatever the parents choose, it is their reward for the work they put in as parents.

Sadly, even though both our kids live in other states, we have somehow been embroiled in their personal issues. To the point that I seriously thought my wife was going to have a heart attack She was really just having an anxiety attack, but that was enough for both of us to realize that we simply needed to let our adult son be his own man, regardless of what that means to him, and simply accept it.

Our granddaughter will turn 1 this month. We have seen her a total of 4 times, briefly. And life goes on.

Found Photos...

2011-12-28T06:31:00.000-06:00

It was a while back when I posted about the disappointment of having eagerly participated in a Jacuzzi sex session with my wife knowing full well that I had our deer camera mounted to where it would capture some of the details, only to learn that the images on the SD card were lost.

So here it is a few months later, I popped the disk into a new laptop to copy some g-rated pictures when I found that the Windows 7 had the ability to recover an entire saved off directory of corrupted images. The good news is, I found a lot of pictures that I had thought were lost forever - including the pictures taken that night in the Jacuzzi. That bad news, the sex pics were very grainy and taken from such a distance that you don't get the detail I had imagined would be captured. Of course, since we are no Ken and Barbie, it may be just as well that you can't see every nook and cranny. And just remember that old saying, the camera adds 20 pounds. Be kind!

First and foremost, I need a tan!

This is my wife. She does have wonderfully nice boobs. All my friends say so!

And this is the scene that I had hoped to come out - that's me in the back! She is the one with a water jet hitting her from the front and my dick from the back! The picture doesn't show it, but we are both pretty happy about it.

I guess if we are going to do this right, we're just going to have to find ourselves a camera man!

More Co-Worker Updates...

2011-12-26T08:28:00.002-06:00

Co-Worker A (the young straight guy) sat in my office with the door closed. We were having a discussion about realigning our work center and he had a few good ideas. It stayed very professional for at least half an hour but when he stood up to write down a few ideas on the whiteboard, I could see the bulge in his pants and it got me thinking terribly unprofessional thoughts.

A knows I am Bi and he is cool with that. The added bonus is, he enjoys talking openly about sex. He has told me about numerous encounters where he has handcuffed ladies to the bed, then spent an hour or so pleasuring them with his bag of toys. Toys like what? I asked. Oh, anal beads, vibrators, paddles, that sort of thing. I asked him if the women are okay with being handcuffed and he tells me they are. I then ask him if they are comfortable knowing that he has used these toys on other visitors to his home. He let out sort of an exhausted sigh. Perhaps that has come up before. I wash them. He finally says with a laugh.

Because of the holiday, there are only a handful of people at work. The chances of someone even realizing that we are in my office much less barging in is slim. I just come right out and ask him if he will show me his dick. He doesn't miss a beat and says, Maybe another time. We both laugh and he goes back to the whiteboard to jot down a few more work related ideas, someone knocks on the door. I quickly glance up at A's tight pants that reveal his substantial wiener straining at the fabric and yell out, Come in.

It is Co-Worker C and he is dressed extremely festively with with some sort of fashionable jeans that probably cost several hundred dollars, a shirt with some sort of Asian design and really nice boots, We normally wear slacks and ties and occasionally suits, so the chance to dress down is always welcome.

C has a huge grin on his face and he asks, So, what is going on in here? I don't even hesitate a second and respond, [Co-Worker A] was just about to show me his dick! This sent C into a gay giggle fit and he went on to entertain us for the next 15 minutes about having his hair cut the other day while talking to the transgender owner of the salon he goes to. He says the lady has a large dick and huge, enormous tits. Once she finally gets the operation to have her man-parts removed, she intends to become a lesbian. We all agree she should just keep the dick as strap-ons could get costly.

There is value added for me emotionally, knowing that I can be somewhat open about who I am around these two colleagues. But in a way, I feel somewhat ashamed of my immature sexual antics. I find that when I get the opening to talk to someone about sex, I push the envelop too far. A and I left work early and decided to grab lunch together. I let him do most of the talking and he provided me with some insight on some previous relationships with women who were not nice to him. I was mostly looking for signs that he was some sort of serial killer, and he assured me he wasn't.

When we walked out of the diner, I told him that I appreciated him letting me joke with him about his large wiener. He laughed and said it was okay. I also suggested he show it to me, right there in the parking lot. He said, You know, we're all just a little bit gay; but not at work. I took that as his polite way of suggesting I ease up a bit. And I will.

I think that is what makes me feel relief in making blog entries and reading the blogs of others. We can explore all of these thoughts and desires, but we do it from home and we aren't really offending anyone. If I come across a blog that isn't my cup of tea, I just move on. I need to remember that sitting in my office at work is not the same as sitting in front of my computer at home.

An Early Christmas Gift...

2011-12-18T07:34:00.001-06:00

On Friday I broke out of work early and headed up to the Adult Megaplex, a huge warehouse of sex toys and videos, so I could make a quick purchase. I had decided a while back that it was time to update my wife's vibrator selection with one of those Rabbits I keep hearing about.

Unfortunately, once inside, I was simply overwhelmed by the selection. There are literally rows and rows of toys, many knock-offs of the real thing and I have to admit, it can be intimidating. I never felt creepy or like I was being watched. The place was full of people, couples, lesbians, gays, truckers, housewives, but nobody seemed to be minding anyone's business but there own. The other people there is not what left me intimidated, but simply the vast selection and suddenly not knowing if I was going too big or not big enough for my wife. Next trip, she is going with me. I just wanted to point out that the Megaplex is not seedy in any way, and it isn't the type of place you should shy away from, with or without your spouse/partner.

So anyway, I decided on the Flexi Rabbit Teaser Pleaser that had the appearance of the Rabbit, the penis like shape made of flexible rubber with a little extension that comes out and is supposed to vibrate from the outside. I also picked up one of those Doc Johnson butt plugs for me. I have been wanting one of these for years and finally bought it.

I stopped into a Dollar Store and bought a gift box so I could have the package wrapped before I got home, and then, instead of placing it under the tree with other gifts, hid it in the bottom drawer of the nightstand next to my side of the bed. I figured I would pull it out on Christmas Eve. I figured wrong!

Last night we got in bed and my wife rolled over to me and started removing my underwear, within a few minutes she went from playing with my soft dick to giving me a blow job. It was while she was latched onto my boner that I reached over and opened the bottom drawer and pulled out the box. Merry Christmas!

After opening the two toys, I jumped up and gave them a good washing then jumped back into bed. She took to her new toy immediately, finding that at first she liked the little pulsing of it, but eventually changing it to the constant fast speed. I started thinking I should have gone with a bigger model. We played with this for a while, and as she really got into it, she wanted me to suck her tits and kiss her. She cums so easily, and had several small orgasms as we played.

I found the small butt plug and was thinking I would need some lube, but after feeling how soft and fleshy it felt, I was able to slide it in with only slight work. With the plug inserted, she climbed atop of my dick and proceeded to ride me with the vibrator between our pubic areas. She commented on how hard my dick felt and kept asking me if it felt good to have it up my butt. Believe me, it feels extremely good!

I came hard and then, to her delight, my dick stayed fully erect for sometime after. We easily could have gone another round - rare, for me anyway - but she had already cum several times and was in a very happy place.

That was a very welcome early Christmas present!

Podcasts: Stuff Mom Never Told You...

2011-12-17T07:17:00.000-06:00

I mentioned recently that I have been listening to Dan Savage and his Savage Love podcasts instead of the radio on my daily commute. I swear, just the reaffirmation of having so many things that I have believed or felt by him and his callers is amazing. Oh sure, I can't say I agree with everything, but I am certainly open to new ideas and opinions.

I wanted to mention another podcast I've been downloading. It is from the How Stuff Works web page and it is called Stuff Mom Never Told You. While this is certainly not a sexually explicit program, many of the topics are things that probably would not have come up at Sunday dinner. The podcast features a couple of young ladies, Molly and Cristen (and sometimes, Caroline) who got out and do research on a topic then openly discuss it. Yesterday, I listened to podcasts on pubic hair and sex addiction. They are presented in an informative but not titillating way - these aren't things you are going to masturbate to, but again, probably not something you are going to learn about at home (at least, not my home).

One podcast featured the question: Are humans meant to be monogamous? The ladies started off the podcast with, "No. Thank you and see you next week." It is that sort of humor that makes what could be an uncomfortable topic entertaining. Each of the episodes are between 15 and 30 minutes, there are no commercials and best of all, no yelling and such like talk radio.

The Lawnboy...

2011-12-16T06:30:00.000-06:00

I started mowing yards to make money when I was in the 6th or 7th grade for $5.00 a yard. That included mowing, weedeating and sweeping off the sidewalk and driveway when I was finished. By the time I was in the 8th or 9th grade, I felt the competition of other neighborhood kids who might try to sneak in and grab one of my regulars before I could get to them. Bastards. So to solidify the market, I started this program where I told each of my customers that for $20.00 a month, I would keep the yard mowed. If that meant I had to mow twice a week, during the high growth months, they would still only pay the $20.00, but if I only had to mow a few times during the month, I would still come by and do any needed weedeating, but the cost was still $20.00.

This little business model worked well until I turned 16 and started a real job (McDonald's) and I could no longer keep up with all the lawns.

One of the benefits of having the regular "whenever it needs it" lawn customers, was that as time permitted, I would just show up and mow the lawn and not even bother to ask the customer. Sometimes they were home, sometimes not. This led to one interesting encounter that would fuel my masturbatory fantasies for some time, and that was the sunbathing incident.

There was a couple, probably late 20's or early 30's who lived several houses down and across the street from me. I never really saw the husband, so the wife was the person I dealt with. She was what now I might describe as a MILF, but back then, she seemed slightly frumpy. She always wore saggy jeans and an oversize t-shirt. In Florida at that time, most women (and most of the men actually) were very self-conscientious of their looks, trying to fit the beach lifestyle and such, but this lady never tried. As horny a kid as I was, I never really thought about her.

One afternoon, I rolled my mower down the street, walked around the front yard and picked up a hose to move out of the way, then started the mower and began quickly taking care of the front yard. Once finished, I grabbed my extension cord and went to the side of the house to plug in so I could weedeat the front part before getting started on the back. It was then that I saw the lady of the house taking her lawn chair and moving it away from the back porch further into the back yard, I guess to adjust to the position of the sun. We didn't speak, but I know she saw me because she looked right at me and smiled. It was the first time I had seen her in a bikini, and I remember being a little caught off guard since my only other images of her were in the baggy clothes she normally answered the door in.

So I finish with the front of the house, open the gate and move the mower to the back yard. I started the mower and began on the side. I suspected that by the time I got to the back, she would go in the house and take break while I finished. To my surprise, when I rounded the corner and and saw that she was still laying out in the sun, she had the top of her bikini pulled off.

I don't know how fast this happened in real-time, but for me, it was like slow motion. I remember being almost in shock at the site of boobies, but not only boobies, boobies with no tan lines! The were large and saggy, but did I mention, large? As the mower engine roared and I stood there frozen, she grabbed her bikini top and stood up, covered her boobs (as best they could be) with one arm and grabbed the lawn chair with the other and quickly walked over to the patio. Then, as she opened the sliding glass door on the patio, she looked at me and with a smile mouthed "sorry".

"Sorry"? Are you kidding me, I was about to be a legend amongst my neighborhood lawn-men! I somehow stumbled through mowing the rest of the back yard and quickly trimmed around the patio, but that was as far as it went. By this point in my life, I was still a virgin, so figuring out a way to seduce the frumpy lady with no tan-lines was something that would have to thought about over and over.

The next time I went to the house to collect my $20.00 for the month, I hoped like hell the husband would answer the door, but it was her. She handed me the check and didn't as much as wink, convincing me that there was no chance for us to make beautiful love during our next backyard encounter. I did see her a few more times in her bikini, washing the car in the front yard a time or two, but there would be no more back yard topless encounters during my tenure as her lawn-man.

Obsessed With Infidelity...

2011-12-15T06:30:00.000-06:00

I my last post, A Decent Proposal, I wrote about my friend Pancho sending a note to my wife inviting her to spend the weekend in another city. I know that stuff like this happens and in many cases the wives are able to go and enjoy a fun time while the husband waits at home excitedly for details of the tryst - and hopefully full motion pictures! It is hard enough for me to explain why this scenario turns me on if my wife is the one involved involved. It is even harder for me to explain to myself, why I am turned on by another guy's wife taking a little trip of this nature.

I am so turned on by the theory of infidelity, especially of women getting action on the side, which probably explains my interest in cuckold and hotwife blogs as well as the many adulteress female blogs I follow, and the interest I have in the 48 Hours-like mystery/documentary shows that involve infidelity.

Years ago in San Antonio, I used to listen to a morning radio show hosted by Drex (he later moved on to Chicago and I have no idea where he is now) where he mostly took calls on topics related to sex. One morning, I recall listening to a young female caller who explained that her husband worked the night shift and she had been routinely having a friend of the husbands come over and sleep with her. The guy would then slip out and walk back down the street to his own home. The caller explained that the guy came for a booty call early one morning and they were interrupted to the sound of the husband coming home from work early. The sex was done, and the fuck buddy easily slipped out of the house before the husband walked in the front door, but there was no way for the woman to get cleaned up, so she simply pretended to be asleep.

I often questioned in my mind the next part of the story, but the caller says that she had been pissed off at her husband for some reason and that when he slipped into bed and began pawing at her for sex, she simply removed her panties and pushed his head down to her lower regions - which of course is where Drex had to basically cut her off in order to keep the call within FCC standards!

Drex and his co-hosts were all making the sounds people would make of Eewwww and that's gross and such, but I just remember being so turned on wishing that I could hear more details of what happened when the husband began to perform oral on his wife's recently filled pussy. These are details I need!

We are just now watching the first season of Mad Men, and as much of a stud that Don Draper is, and who wouldn't envy his social skills for lack of a better term, I was specifically interested in the young ad exec who just got married and he asks his new bride to see her old flame to ask for a favor. We haven't finished the entire season yet, so I don't know how that plays out, but it is almost as if the young husband is prompting his bride to fuck the old boyfriend. It may not end that way, but you can imagine where my mind wanders.

In many of the blogs I follow where the wife describes her encounters with other men, I want so badly to know more about how the husband may have reacted to the situation afterward. This voyeuristic urge to know if the husband suspects anything or if he may have found a clue but the wife was able to cover with a lie. Or in the cases where the husband approves, how he reacted when the cheating wife shared details of the encounter with him.

I simply have no explanation for my desire to know the details of other people having sex or the sneaky ways they go about getting it. Any thoughts or opinions?

A Decent Proposal...

2011-12-14T05:47:00.000-06:00

My wife looked up from her iPhone and chuckled. She had a big grin on her face and said, "Oh my! I think I have just been propositioned." It was Pancho, a regular reader here and a friend of the family who is out of town on business.

She read me the message which was an offer for her to come spend the weekend with him in another city and engage in gratuitous sexual play. My only response (aside from the growing bulge in my pants) was a raised eyebrow. Aside from the obvious explanations to family about an unexpected trip alone for the weekend, she knows that I would not only encourage such a trip, I'd want details and pictures!

I very much suspect that as reward for the huge ego boost, Pancho will be getting a few select naughty messages today, as soon as I leave for work. Lucky him...

The Perfect CL Ad...

2011-12-12T05:58:00.000-06:00

I occasionally browse through the Craig's List ads for my area with more interest in finding wierd or humorous ads then actually finding someone that I would dare respond to. This morning I saw one that really interested me.

wife wants to watch - m4m - 30 (lackland)

Date: 2011-12-12, 12:49AM CST
Reply to:

heavy set first timer looking to experiance a man down 4 whatever. will host no pushy people wife may join im not a hottie

----

This is a situation that I would love to be involved with. The idea of the wife watching her husband engage in MM sex, even if it was very limited is a huge turn on. I have often thought about my friend Rob and his beautiful wife. How I would have loved to have her sit back on the couch and watch us play together, knowing in the back of my mind that I would want her to join in at some point. I did eventually get to blow him, but she was not home at the time.

I sure hope this couple finds the right guy to make their fantasy come true. I'd volunteer but I suspect I'm a little older than what they have in mind.

Co-Worker B...

2011-12-10T07:08:00.000-06:00

You recall the religious lady I work with, Co-worker B, who was so upset with the fact that gay people were forcing themselves on the rest of us by having the nerve to kiss in movies or live together on TV shows. Well, she stopped by my office the other day and poked her head in the door saying, "I bet you'll be happy about that lady at Macy's getting fired." I looked up at her with a confused smile, having no idea at all what she was talking about.

"Yep. She refused to let some transsexual use the woman's fitting room, so they fired her." She then let out this really weird cackle before moving on to go spread religious fervor elsewhere.

First and foremost, I really need to make it clear here that I am not opposed to people having religion and I genuinely strive to respect the views of those of faith, whatever it is. I was raised Catholic, and my wife and I raised our kids in the Catholic church, though I confess (no pun intended) that I haven't been to church in years. I have some very specific views about the Catholic church and organized religion in general, but generally, I keep them to myself. So if my wife likes to light candles that she purchases for a dollar at the grocery store so she can say a prayer to St. Jude, or if she wants to have a small religious statue on our front patio alerting evil to go away, I don't complain or roll my eyes (in front of her). And I have never, ever had a problem working with religious people, and though my respect for Co-worker B has dropped to little or none, I'll strive to never get in an argument with her over her fucked up point of view, developed over years of being a divorced mother who probably hasn't had a man inflicted orgasm in 15 years, preferring instead to spend her spare time in bible study several nights a week. Lord, forgive me for run-on sentences.

When Co-worker B only gave me the initial detail of the story, limited to a lady was fired for not letting a transsexual use the fitting room, I thought for sure the company was overreacting. Surely they could have simply counselled the employee on store policy, told her to be more sensitive, etc, etc, and offered the offended young lady an apology and a gift card or something.

Of course, once I saw her all over the news spouting religious views etc etc, I looked at it a little further. So in San Antonio where I work, there was an employee who by her own account (she told every TV station she could get to deploy a camera), told a young man dressed as a woman that he could not use the woman's fitting room to try on the assload of female clothes he was attempting to purchase. Friends of the transgender person told this employee that Macy's, her employer, had a policy of allowing transgender people to use the dressing room they prefer. In spite of this, the employee chose to force her religious views upon a customer of the store rather than going with store policy. She was subsequently fired.

I think we can all agree that the 10 Commandments says stealing is wrong. So if an employee witnesses shoplifting, does she contact store security because it is against her religious beliefs, or does she call security because shoplifting will not be tolerated by the store? Either way, she is following store policy.

What about a customer who comes into the store and wants to purchase an expensive gift - perhaps some fine lingerie. Seeing a wedding ring, the employee asks, "Is this for your wife?" and the customer says, "No, actually, this is for my girlfriend."

Looking back at the 10 Commandments and that one about not committing adultery, if the employee applies her religious views rather than store policy (make money) and asks the customer to shop elsewhere, I suspect that management is not going to be overly happy.

I don't know who to attribute the quote to, but religion is like a really big dick. It's great to have, but don't whip it out at work.

I don't really shop at Macy's but if they are anything like the stores I do shop, each of the individual dressing rooms are private. That is to say, even if you were clearly a man and you went into the fitting room next to a woman, neither of you would be exposed to one another. If Macy's just has some big huge open free-for-all area where women just strip down like a European beach, then I can see room for caution - you know, with all the lesbians and such.

This was somebody exerting their own personal views (religious or not) onto her employer's turf and potentially taking sells from the company. Co-worker B will never appreciate this point of view, and frankly, I won't bother to try to convince her.

Savage Love

2011-12-08T05:37:00.000-06:00

I have heard of Dan Savage, the writer, advice giver, and sex expert for years, but aside from a few visits to his web page and watching a few things on YouTube, I had not really paid much attention to him. That was until I found his podcasts.

I have recently just given up on radio during the 30 minute drive to work and back home each day. I went onto iTunes thinking I might make some mixed music CD's when I located their collection of free podcasts. There are thousands! I downloaded a few that are supposed to teach you Spanish. We'll see how that goes. There were loads of comedy podcasts, but based on the descriptions, none of them really caught my eye. If anyone has any recommendations, please send my way! Then I saw Dan Savage and just looking at some of the descriptions, I was ready to try. I downloaded probably ten or so, just to give it a try. I can tell you that I honestly took the long way home the other day, just because I was so in to the calls.

In case you have never heard of this guy or his podcasts, he has people call his answering machine and leave messages with their question. They are mostly sex related questions - my husband wants me to fuck his friend but I'm not sure (that will really perk me up), or my co-worker thinks that a finger in the ass is fine, but a strap-on makes you gay. Savage then provides responses, but in some cases, he calls the people back and they have a full discussion about the topic. It was hilarious when he talked to these two co-workers (one guy, one girl) who were just friends, but had the discussion about whether strap-on sex was gay or not. Aside from the advice, the guy had agreed to let Savage settle their bet, and if he agreed that it was not gay, the female co-worker got to use the strap-on on her male co-worker. You of course, know how that one ended.

I've only been listening for this week, and granted, many of the podcasts I have downloaded are dated (several years old) so there are some discussions of current events that are out of date, but all in all, this is exactly what I have needed. I love, love, LOVE hearing about other people's questions, issues and ideas about sex. I genuinely believe that many of us simply need someone else to confirm that we are not alone on the island of whatever our particular kink happens to be. One example is this whole concept of wife-sharing or cuckoldry or hotwife stuff - whatever you care to call it. In a matter of minutes, in response to a female caller who was trying to understand her boyfriend's interest in this, Savage had explained it in a way that I had never considered before, and honestly, I felt a relief as I was driving down the road. Somebody gets it besides me, and somebody - apparently a lot of somebodies, get off on it like me.

Anyway, I don't want to go on and on about it, but if you are looking for something interesting to listen to, give Dan Savage a try.

Another one bites the dust...

2011-12-07T06:01:00.000-06:00

I wrote the other day about several of the blogs and Tumblr pages I visit. It is so sad when a really good blog disappears because the writer just can't feel the urge anymore, or they are overcome by life's events. But, what can you do?

I may have mentioned before that writing here is really just an outlet for me - for me to occasionally work out the sexual thoughts in my mind. If you happen to read it, great, but I write them with no expectation of comments or any real feedback - so when I do get comments or e-mails, I love the extra bonus. So thanks!

I write another blog that is totally G rated (okay, probably PG-13 at the most), and it is so totally different from this forum. I used to post on it daily, but it really has taken a back seat to other interests such as work and life, so now I'm more of a weekend blogger. None of this is important, only to say that since there is no money involved in either of these ventures, I don't feel pressure to post. It isn't the burden it could be if I took it more seriously.

Every so often, my PG-13 blog finds me bumping into my R-rated blogs through the comments left by other readers. In other words, just because I keep my sex blogging apart from my non-sex blogging, it doesn't mean that other bloggers do. I'm not sure why, but it gives me a thrill - probably the voyeur in me.

For several years now, I have followed a so-called "mommy blogger", a lady who mostly blogs about her life raising kids and being a wife and such. There are lots of really funny and smart women who are great writers, but they just don't show their boobs (on their mommy blogs anyway). I have written about one of these great ladies before, known as The Evil Twin's Wife, and her blog The Glamorous Life of a Hausfrau was a favorite read until she closed down shop yesterday.

Though it was not considered a sex blog per se, ETW was pretty open about things and wouldn't hold back on responding to questions people asked. I think she casually mentioned about having been involved in a threesome in the past (yay!) and would frequently post cleavage shots for her male (and female) readers. She also had an occasional feature called "Friday Secrets". What made this better than the usual blogs that allow people to post anonymous secrets was, these were anonymous, but they were from her readers. If I were to write on this blog that I am happy to let my wife shove her vibrator up my ass, you'd not only not be surprised or shocked, you'd expect it given the nature of this blog. But when a mommy blogger (though you don't know which one) posts that she fucks the neighbor's college aged son, now you are on to something.

I had submitted several "secrets" to ETW from this blogger account, not from the account I do my other blog from and normally visit her page from. I had secretly hoped that one day she would find this blog and perhaps make the connection some day. Not because it was important to share my dual identity, but honestly, I had hoped to ask her a bunch of really personal sexual questions and it would have been unlike me to do so from my "other persona".

I wonder how many really "vanilla" bloggers stumbled upon ETW's page and after getting to know the fellow readers started to change some of their views on sex, politics, religion, gay rights and other things, just because their eyes may have been opened up a bit, that hey, just because your pastor says it is so, there may be another point of view to consider.

Anyway, it is a loss. Like many of the great bloggers that fade away after a few months or years, she'll be missed. The good news is, you can go to her blog and read through the archives if you are interested.

Oh, and about the dual blogging thing. There are a small handful of readers here who happen to know about both my blogs. I know I don't even need to write this, but discretion, please.

Some of my favorite places...

2011-12-05T06:41:00.000-06:00

On more than one occasion here, I have attempted to try to self-analyze my varied interest in genres of erotic images. Just look at the links along the right hand side of the page, and you see a quite a variety to choose from. When I go through these different web pages, I bring up several at a time and it allows me to flip back and forth from page to page to see what is new since my last visit.

It is interesting how images from almost every page seem to bring back a memory or remind me of someone I know. Most often, if I see any woman posing over the age of 40 who has auburn hair and small breasts, I am reminded of the incident where I saw my high school girlfriend's mother on her hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor. Because I was coming up the stairs into the kitchen from their lower level den, my eyes were level with her ass when the gap in her shorts exposed her bare pussy. Was this even possible? Did I imagine this entire incident? Is this something that has been floating around in my mind since I was 17 or 18 - 30 full years ago, that may have only been wishful thinking?

When I see what is described on the Internet as "older" or cougars or MILFs, there is very often the chance that these women are younger than I am. So for me, they are actually who I should be looking at if I want to be fair about it. And I'm okay with that. But I also like the women who are even older! I found a page called "Grandma is Sexy" Well of course she is. She is only about 45 or 50. I don't find the urge to go looking for dates in the old-folks home, but I have met so many women who even in their early 70's can garner admiring stares from younger men in the shopping mall. Women in their 50's and 60's are still young.

And of course there is my issue with younger women. I follow several young (in my mind) bloggers who share intimate details of their sex lives. Two such women, "Ms. I" and The Indelible Wench remind me that you only have to be 18 to be legal, and I shouldn't feel guilty for being turned on by intelligent writing and beauty, even when it comes from someone half my age. I'm learning to disassociate that icky feeling of having a daughter in her 20's when I read about the encounters of these young women, or view images of women who may be younger than my own kids, and realize that once you reach the age of majority, you are an adult (even if you still are someones kid).

Obviously, I'm Bi. Being bi makes it so easy to go from looking at images of attractive older women to attractive young men and moving on to smoking hot college women and clicking over to a daddy with his dick in some guys mouth. It is good to have versatility in your porn viewing. Pages like Lucky help.

There is that whole wife-sharing thing going, too. What makes a man become willing to not only share his wife with another man, but to be so submissive in the process? I'm not sure, but when I read about this man who is dominate outside the bedroom, but submissive inside, I can at least appreciate it. I have to admit, I check that blog out every day, no matter what.

Finally, for years I have been one of those people who simply did not have the time or the patience to read stories from places like Literotica. But I do love really good writing as long as there is more to the story than some creepy guy like me describing how he jacked-off in his office. When you combine exceptional writing with with an impressive gift between the legs, you have The Breeder. He is easily one of the best writers in sex blogs and even if you are not gay/bi, you should read his incredible stories, descriptions of his youth and college years, and his interesting life as an adult.

Or, you can just start going down the list of links on the right side of the page and perhaps you can see what makes me smile...

Three Co-Workers...

2011-12-01T06:30:00.000-06:00

Over my professional life including time in the military, working as a defense contractor and as a DoD civilian, I have had at least a 95 percent success rate in being able to pick out co-workers who I can safely talk to about delicate matters - like sex. Realistically, in this age of harassment claims, one should never engage in any sort of discussions with co-workers that they would not be completely willing to share with their boss or for that matter, the local press. This is doubly true for sex with co-workers. Against this reality, I have pushed the envelop for years, daring to engage willing participants in casual banter about sexual topics, and in some cases going well beyond talk.

This week has been very busy and hectic for me at work, but I have found the time to pause long enough to have some interesting conversations. Three of these may be worth mentioning.

Co-worker A. He is a fairly young (mid/late 20's) single guy, straight, who has shared on more than a few occasions details of his random encounters with women. I called him into my office and told him I needed to take a break to de-stress for a few minutes. He said, "what should we talk about?" and I responded "sex". I then quickly asked him how he felt about porn involving women using strap-ons on their boyfriends. For a split second he looked down and I could see him start to blush. I immediately followed up with, "You let that (a girl he mentioned before) do you with a strap-on, didn't you?" He laughed and then divulged that he allowed a previous girlfriend to use a small vibrator on him, and he absolutely loved it. I quickly cut him off with, "Well of course; who doesn't enjoy that?"

From there the discussion went on about how things that were so taboo during my youth in the 70's are now fairly accepted by most people these days. Toward the end of the conversation, I said, "Strictly hypothetically, if I told you I was Bi, would you tell everybody?" "Oh, no. he responded, I never share personal things like that." I quickly reminded him with a smile, "Of course, that was all just hypothetical you know." And with that, our openly gay co-worker walked into my office.

C-Worker B: I walked into a cubical down the hall from my office where a nice middle-aged civilian lady sits and she was having a discussion with a young Air Force officer and another civilian guy. They were talking about movies. I mentioned that I had recently seen Mulholland Dr and it was terrible. None of them had heard of it. I mentioned that there were a few lesbian sex scenes which caused the young officer to perk up and wonder if it was available on NetFlix. The middle-aged lady then tells us how her friend called her the other day and told her that she had walked out of a movie, Hoover with Leo DiCapprio because it involved men kissing. Almost in unison, me and the two other men in the cubical all said "Big deal!"

The lady went on some weird rant about how the gay people are trying to force it down our throats and push all this gay business on us. She told us how she thought the show Modern Family was funny until they had to ruin it by showing two men sharing the same bed. I asked her if she enjoyed Will & Grace or The Ellen Show (I' can be a real dick sometimes). No, of course she doesn't like those shows. And, she refuses to watch any movie that includes Jake Gyllenhall or any member of the cast of Brokeback Mountain. This is a genuinely nice lady who, I guess I had never realized was so overly religious, and I chose not to engage further. But I did ask her, "What fuckin' century are you living in?" and then left the cubical before she could respond.

Okay, maybe I didn't handle that one so well.

Co-worker C: This is the guy I wrote about sending the note to on FaceBook and him finally responding with the need for us to have lunch and talk. Over the last week or so, we have not had a minute to talk but when we see each other, he is clearly tickled that we are eventually going to share our secrets. He came into my office and sat down to talk about a few scheduling issues. When we were just about done, I looked at him and asked him if he was surprised by my message on FaceBook. He laughed and said "No, not at all." I laughed and said, "so are you saying I look gay?". "No. he quickly said, But we need to go to lunch and talk so I can confess everything."

Can't wait.

Questions & Answers...

2011-11-27T07:00:00.001-06:00

Several of the blogs I follow have Formspring and other types of add-ons that allow readers to ask a blogger questions. I don't think I get enough interested traffic to go that route, but I do receive (and always appreciate) e-mails from folks who happen upon the blog. I have been corresponding with one nice gentleman recently and thought I might make a blog entry based upon some of the thoughtful questions he has asked me and my responses.

His questions come from reading the blog and trying to better understand what drives the personality of a happily married guy who happens to be bi and gets off on the thought of his wife sleeping with other men. Yes, that's me.

To the questions (in no general order):

Question: I am curious though, your wife does know about your Bi side. You said that she doesn't like it. Is it an issue though when you have threeways? Does she know that you look at male porn etc? If she has lovers on the side, could you (and would the expectation be that it is a female)? Just wondering.

Answer: About my wife: She has accepted that I am Bi, but wants to keep it in the back of her mind. During our threesomes (it has been a while) only one of our partners was really okay with any MM contact, and it was minimal. My wife just let it happen because she could ignore it. Basically, we had a position where he would be on his back, with her mounted reverse cowgirl, and I would go down on her (with his dick in her). It allowed me to have both of them, yet she was so into her own pleasure that the fact that I was occasionally taking my buddy into my mouth was ignored. I would love if she was open to watching, but that is not likely.

I'm sure she knows that I look at porn but it isn't something we discuss. My blog (obviously) and the blogs I read are something I do in the morning before I get ready for work while she sleeps.

She has had a few lovers on the side (met with guys we know while I was at work or out of town), but mostly, these days anyway, she flirts with friends and may send a picture or two. I am okay with it and even encourage it. She is however a very jealous woman. Me seeing another woman would definitely be a problem, and seeing another guy would have to be on the sly! She would never encourage it the way I encourage her. In fact, earlier in our marriage, we did have the chance to have a foursome (us and another couple) and she declined just due to the fact that she would not be able to handle me with the other woman.

Question: Could you find a bull who is bi friendly and introduce him into your marriage? From what I have read, she knows that you get off on hearing about her with other men, so it seems like a possibility.

Answer: A bi bull. In spite of the number of blogs I follow written by cuckolds (which I suppose, technically I am), I am not into the outward humiliation aspect of it. But I must confess that in a perfect world, I would love it if my wife was turned on by watching me blow another guy. In that scenario, it would be incredible to have her ask me to blow a lover or even have he watch me give up my ass to a guy. I don't think that is in the cards at all. I have had several female friends tell me how turned on they would be to see their husbands having gay sex, but my wife is not one of them. The best I had it was with our long term FB who was open to letting me suck on him when my wife left the room, or when I was going down on her and he was fucking her. He would let his dick slip out of her and go into my mouth for a bit before I would push him back into her. Heaven!

Question: Do either of you have hobbies that you can explore separately (Zumba 2, golf, gym, a second degree)?

Answer: Hobbies: I probably overstate things if I say we are tied to the hips. For instance, if I need to work on something outside or she is working on some little project, we do do our own thing. The problem is that we have gotten into this routine of me coming home, eating and then sitting in front of the TV until it is time for bed. We have a DVR but she has this weird thing about thinking it will get too full. So there is this constant race to see whatever we have recorded so it can be deleted. The problem comes in where, if I feel like I have something more interesting to do (like read a book, look at the Internet, etc) I am wasting valuable time that could be better used by eliminating some of the TV shows backlogged in the DVR. I know, sounds nuts!

I mentioned that before we moved, she did Zumba a few nights a week. She loved it and met some great people. When we moved to the new place, we saw a few ads for Zumba out here, and I really had hoped she would go just to see if she likes it, but she still has not. Just an hour or two a few nights a week would give me the time to write, e-mail, and of course, look at nekkid pictures.

Question: Is being confrontational so wrong? Me: "I am 50% of this couple equation. Sometimes this is about me - not you. I need you to understand that. Please hear me, this is important. I'm about your happiness but I am also about mine - we both need to understand that."

Answer: Is being confrontational so wrong? In her case, yes. I once saw a documentary or maybe it was 60 Minutes where they talked about the need to fight, but fight fair. I am usually very successful in very calmly making my point and convincing her of doing something my way if I really feel the need. But because she is one of those people who just naturally goes for the throat in even the slightest disagreement, I have found that there is simply very few times that being right is worth the venom. In a case where she is clearly "guilty" of something, she could never accept any form of criticism. I have never once heard my wife say, "Oh, I guess I was wrong" or "That was my fault". Any accusation, no matter how insignificant, is countered with a far more serious crime that the accuser is guilty of, usually something that has no bearing on the situation.

An example of this would be, if I mentioned that we were out of toothpaste, she would translate that into an accusation that she was in the wrong, get mad and blame me for spending too much time at work, drinking the last of the milk and farting one night in 1994. Instead of simply saying, "Yes, we'd better go to the store and buy some toothpaste", it is somehow twisted into all these things I have done wrong over the years. Imagine how this would go in a confrontation of any real significance.

My wife literally has entire arguments where I never say a word or even look in her direction. She starts off with a statement that in my mind is not even confrontational, then immediately follows up with a second statement to defend herself. Before long, without me ever saying a word, she is in a lather and has spouted off an entire diatribe, to which I usually respond, "Okay."

I do think it is important for readers not to jump to conclusions with this response. In spite of this reality (a wife who has never learned how to have a simple difference of opinion without it being seen as a need for a showdown), we are generally very happy. There are husbands out there who would kill to change places with me. I have a wife that loves sex, is a great homemaker, handles all the finances so I don't have to, and is, aside from occasionally flying off the handle for no real reason, a great wife. I do love her and have no intention whatsoever of leaving her ever.

Question: What is it with a man that you really want to explore? A hard dick - got that (glad that you are good around hand or blow jobs!). What else?

Answer: I must tell you that over the years of being comfortable with and accepting my bi-side, my desire has evolved. At first, it was all about the dick. I wanted to see, feel, smell and taste another guy's dick. Then I had this craving (and still do) for the taste of a man's cum. I'm not sure that I would be classified as a top or a bottom (I still don't fully understand it all), but as soon as I started realizing that I wanted to experience having a guy fuck me and cum inside me (though I'll most likely insist on condoms if that happens), I realize I would also like to fuck another guy. I also have this urge to have an intimate make-out session. For years and years, the idea of sucking a dick, licking balls and even tonguing a man's ass has been a huge turn-on for me, yet kissing has seemed out of bounds. But now, I actually fantasize about that.

I still don't seem myself in a romantic relationship with a man, yet if my wife passed away, I could see me in a housemate situation with another man where occasionally there is sex, but mostly friendship. Though even thinking of that arrangement seems awkward.

I guess what it comes down to is, I feel like I am getting older, and due to the societal shunning of all things gay when I was growing up, I did not get to experience many of the sexual desires I surely would have pursued if it had not been so taboo. Now, I just want to try to catch some of that before it is too late.

Am I What They Call a Bear?

2011-11-26T06:34:00.000-06:00

I woke up this morning and laid in bed for several minutes wondering if I might fall back asleep. I had had some interesting sexual dreams last night, mostly involving a co-worker. As I tried to fall back asleep, I suddenly had this urge to take nude photos of myself. I suspect many people do this in the age of digital cameras. They take pictures but the pictures are soon deleted never to be seen again. I am such a voyeur that even the thought of my own naughty images are a turn on.

I know it is incredibly difficult for so many women taking the leap to post a nude photo of themselves on the Internet. Let's face it, most of them don't actually do it; it is their sneaky boyfriend or husband who makes the choice for them. But for those that do not have a 4 day a week at the gym perfect body, I think there is a moment of clarity that comes over them where they say, "Fuck it! I know I don't have the perfect body, but it is my body and it is beautiful."

I have never been under any such illusions. I'm a hairy guy with a beer gut, and at least compared to most porn stars, I have a fairly small to average sized dick. But this is me.

Of course, I conveniently forgot to include a picture of my face. We can only take baby steps here.

Am I what they call a bear? As hairy as the front is, I am happy to report I have no unsightly back hair - that would be a major turn-off for my wife.

Sand Street...

2011-11-23T06:27:00.000-06:00

In the town I'm from in Florida, just outside of Tampa, the population has exploded beyond belief. Like many people who return to their hometowns years later, I can't help but see buildings and roads where there used to be cow pastures and grapefruit groves. One such place is now a shopping center surrounded by hotels and apartment complexes. This particular area has great significance to me.

In the late 70's early 80's, it was just this secluded wooded area with a single road leading into it called Sand Street. Once driving down that dirt road, there was a maze of smaller dirt and gravel roads that led to private residences, mostly shacks really, and maybe a mobile home or two. This was a place where teenagers sneaking off from school could go and pretty much party during the middle of the day, secluded from traffic and the local sheriff. I would have never even considered going there at night, besides the fact that it was pitch black out there, it was not uncommon to become stuck in the sand and have to dig yourself out.

As we pulled into our hotel over the weekend, I could not help but look around at the trees covered in Spanish moss and hope that I might recognize something to give me a point of reference. I knew where I was of course, but there was no way of telling if I was anywhere near the exact location.

I did not lose my virginity on Sand Street, but I did make love with my favorite girlfriend for the very first time back there, and as we laid on a blanket pulled from the trunk of my car in the hot Florida sun shielded only slightly by the trees around us, I looked her in the eyes and told her I loved her for the first time. And I meant it.

I know she is finally happy these days in her marriage (second or third, I'm not sure). I can't help but wonder if I could have made her happy if only the circumstances had allowed us to go beyond high school sweethearts in love, fueled by hungry, passionate and incredible sex that couldn't stop the distance created by moving 1,300 miles away.

Thirty years later, driving down Sand Street provides me with fond memories of those days.

Co-worker Update...

2011-11-22T05:46:00.000-06:00

My wife and I took a long weekend (Friday through Monday) and headed to Florida to see my parents. Friday night I was checking my FB page when I saw I had a message from the co-worker. It was simple. We should do lunch...and talk. My response was, Yes.

Of course, this could be interpreted many ways, but I'm not going to let my mind wander about it. One of my main objectives has simply been to have more than a handful of people on the Internet that I can talk to when it comes to the Bi stuff. Oh sure, it would be an added benefit if we ended up with dicks in mouths, but at this point, I'm just trying to ease out of the closet. I don't wish to have a Gay Pride parade down the hall in front of my office, but I also don't want to have to lie about it.

This ought to be interesting...

Self Portrait..

2011-11-15T05:36:00.000-06:00

A Self Portrait.

Sometimes, I'm just a dick.

Lunch Time Jack...

2011-11-12T07:10:00.001-06:00

This happened in 2007 with a former co-worker of mine.

It was my turn to drive so my plan all morning had been to pick my friend up and when he opened the door, he would see me sitting there with my dick at attention, exposed for his view. I had thought to even throw an old t-shirt in the van just in case we needed clean-up action. But, as I drove through the parking lot, I was just too nervous to get hard.

We drove to lunch, had some Mexican food and never brought up any of the "homo" stuff. As we were walking out of the restaurant, I lightly said, "Well, we can get in the van and play with our wieners." and he just laughed.

I should provide a little background. My friend and I have known one another for years - we had worked together before and we also had several mutual friends. One of his closest friends had enjoyed the company of my wife and I years earlier when we "played". He knew many details of these MFM encounters and over the years, I had enjoyed telling him details. I probably enjoyed it more than he did. Of course, it was a two way street. He had shared intimate stories of his encounters that included him and his wife or old girlfriends, sometimes others.

In recent months, I had gotten the nerve to share a detail of my encounters that I had left out before - that I had sometimes engaged in various MM play during the threesome with my wife and our mutual friend. After all these years, it was a relief to know that he was not completely disgusted with my confession. I didn't need acceptance so much as just being able to be up front about it. As a way of showing he was okay with it, he confided that he had almost had an encounter years earlier, and always wished he had gone through with it.

These revelations led to me sharing with him several stories of my encounters and my enjoyment in masturbation during driving. I would learn later that he had also relieved himself on long drives more than once. So with this all in the open, I felt like he might enjoy a little stroke time during our drive after lunch.

Once in the van he said, he wasn't hard, so there would be nothing to play with, but since the topic had been brought up again, I started quizzing him about his almost encounter. He answered one or two questions and suddenly, I noticed him shifting in his seat. That did the trick and the next thing I know he says, "Well, if we were to play with our wieners, where would we do it?"

With that, I changed lanes and turned away from work. We drove through an older neighborhood, but nothing looked like a good place to stop. I pulled my dick out of my pants and he said, "Just like that? - you aren't worried?" and I told him that unless we were driving by a big truck or a tall building, no one would notice. Then he asked if I had napkins or something. I pulled the old t-shirt from the back of the seat and handed it to him. He just laughed.

I have seen his dick many times before - we used to shower together at the gym years ago. But I had never seen him hard. At first it looked very thick, but not long or any longer than mine anyway. His balls were shaved, and nice. I understood that he was not looking for an encounter with me but I was open for anything he was willing to try.

I could tell he was very nervous though. And that made me nervous.

I asked him if I could touch his dick and he said no - he laughed and said he didn't want me to wreck. But then, when I stopped at a stop sign, he said to go ahead. It felt good but I would have preferred to have not been in the vehicle.

As I drove, he continued to stroke and I would watch when I could. Finally we found a place to stop away from houses and where we could see traffic in either direction. I put on my flashers as though we might be making a call or something.

I wanted to suck him so bad but again, he was too nervous. I stroked him again for a minute but I was feeling really uncomfortable about the place. Then I asked him if I could go down on him. He said it would look pretty obvious if someone drove by, but I think it was the nerves or perhaps, he just isn't ready for that. It is a big step going from imagining an encounter with another guy to actually participating in it. I had been there and I didn't want to press.

Then, he began to stroke pretty fast and started to move the shirt in place. I stroked myself as I watched him make himself cum. His cum was white and thick and I wanted to taste it so bad. I thought about reaching over and taking some with my finger and tasting it just to see his reaction, but he used the shirt to wipe it clean. It was best that I didn't push any more.

I could see that sudden twinge of guilt coming over him and I put my dick back in my pants and turned off the flashers. He asked me if I was going to finish and I told him I was just too nervous, which was the truth.

We made our way out of the neighborhood and I told him that it wasn't a good place. I asked him if he'd like to touch my dick just to say he had done it, but he said, "maybe another time."

We were only a minute from work and by the time I dropped him off, I could hardly wait to get a hold of the shirt he had left his jizz in. I got to the parking lot in front of my building and I found the spot on the shirt where he came. It was already clear, but still damp. I placed my finger on it and took a taste. Yep, tastes like cum. I then sniffed the shirt several times - I can't explain my fascination with that almost bleachy smell, but it was intoxicating knowing I was inhaling my friends cum. I then had to compose myself before going back into the office. I thought of heading straight to the men's room and jacking, but by the time I got in, I chose not to.

After work, I got in the van and immediately found the t-shirt, now almost crusty from drying in the heat, yet the scent was still there. I was immediately hard again and knew I wouldn't make it home without relieving myself. I smelled the shirt and his stain at least five more times before finally pulling my dick out and stroking myself into the same shirt that he had used hours earlier.

I had an empty plastic bag in the van and I placed the shirt in it and continued to drive. I then started to feel awkward about the whole thing - wondering if it wasn't nerves that made him not want to do more, but if it was just that he wasn't interested in me. I also felt pretty weird about smelling a shirt that had been used as a cum rag by a friend - guilt I felt once sniffing a sister-in-laws panties once when the opportunity presented itself. But I got over it.

I had to stop at Home Depot on the way home so I deposited the bag full of DNA into a trash can there. I couldn't help but imagine some unsuspecting guy looking through the trash for a rag to use.

Co-worker...

2011-11-07T05:49:00.000-06:00

One of the biggest fears I had about my trip to Las Vegas a few months ago for work was that I would get liquored up and either start announcing my bisexuality to co-workers or worse, I'd get liquored up and have sex with someone and my entire office would hear about it. That didn't happen, for the most part. I sure as hell didn't have any sex.

I have a colleague who is very close professionally, that is, in the day and age of needing to have allies to navigate the political landscape at work, he is probably my closest ally. We talk about things, but never really, really personal things. He has been going through a divorce for over a year, but aside from the fact that he is going through a divorce, he has never revealed any details. My gut reaction was that he was finally coming out of the closet.

During our trip to Vegas, he openly talked about other men in a sexual way, and after many drinks, I jumped right into the game of sexual talk, openly talking about blowing guys. But when we returned from the trip, there was never any further discussion of the sexual nature that we engaged in. Until Friday.

On Friday, he and I took the elevator upstairs and when we got off, there was this incredibly hot, I mean smoking hot woman walking in front of us to go to another office. As the perverts we are, we both checked her out, her ass, her legs, her ass some more. When we got into the office we were going to, he asked if I had ever seen her before, and of course, I had not. When he started talking about how incredible her shoes were, I figured, it was time to re-engage. I said, "This is why god made bisexuals; so we can have sex with smoking hot women like her, and guys too." He paused for just a split second and responded with, "That's what I'm talking about."

That was the end of it - I had to go back to my office. Friday night, my wife and I spent the evening doing work in our yard, burning limbs and enjoying the nice evening outdoors. And yes, a few beers. After much contemplation, and a slight buzz, I found my co-worker on Facebook and sent him a private message. It was purposely cryptic, but it basically said that, we were both drunk when we talked about this in Vegas. But when I mentioned it today, we were both sober. So to be absolutely clear, I like both.

I haven't heard back. We'll see what he says this morning in a few hours when I see him at work.

It Seems Like Such an Easy Task...

2011-11-02T06:29:00.000-05:00

The other day I posted "Cue the pool boy", and got a question from a woman in love to a gay man (AWILTAGM) who commented, "I am sorry. I need to know why. Why can't you F#*@ her like that? What stops you? It seems like such an easy task." I think this question deserves a post of its own, so I'll try to offer up an honest answer here, but I apologize in advance, I get really long-winded about these things.

Most importantly, every relationship is different and I hope that my reasons are not somehow taken as a response for other men who have lost the passion they once had. You have seen the picture of an extremely beautiful model and the caption reads something like, "no matter how smoking hot she is, there is some lucky boyfriend who is just sick of her shit". And there is an old saying I have heard that, you can only have sex with a woman 1,000 times before you grow tired of it. I think my issue partially falls somewhere between the two of those. The fact that over time, my Kinsey Scale number has gradually moved from a 0 to a 3 (I know, it doesn't really move), probably adds to it, but that isn't what keeps me from passion with my wife.

So why couldn't I just plan one day to march into the house after work, grab my wife into my arms and carry her to the bedroom, rip her clothes off and take her forcibly with passion and desire? It sounds easy enough. Over the years, there have been these moments of desire. Either I initiated something from the start or during sex I went above and beyond. But for the most part, it would just seem so forced. I've always said there is no such thing as a bad blow job, but really, there is. If someone is not into it, you know. I'm not an S&M person, but I can imagine if a lover wanted to be submissive to a partner, but that partner had no desire to be dominant, sure, some pleasure could be gained. The one pretending to be dominant could act out a few things, but over all, it probably would not be satisfying for either party. You can only fake so much.

I don't want to equate this to being gay at all, but seriously, if you have not even the slightest propensity for homosexual acts, you probably won't be very good at blowing another guy or kissing another man with passion. Could you fake it? Sure. If you were a man with a gun to your head, you could blow another guy. If you were an actor trying to win an award, you could kiss another man on the lips and collect your gold at an awards show. But to do this for 25 years?

I have bi tendencies, but of course I am attracted to women. There is an emotional side of this that goes beyond the sexuality issue. There was a period during our marriage where the stress of being married was just overwhelming for both of us. It was not a good thing for us or our kids. I had just spent a year in Korea and as much as we tried to fix the problems we had via letters, the damage was done. Within a year of my return, it was not good at all. I moved into an apartment less than a mile from our home and had the kids 3 to 4 days a week, while she had the kids the other days. We were actually divorced. It was the best thing that could happen for the kids and us.

During that time, she dated several guys - mostly younger men. I never felt jealousy when she dated these other men, though I was naturally protective of my kids. She swore that the guys only stayed the night if the kids were with me, and that was all I worried about. In short, I had never been the jealous type when we were married, and now, I couldn't have cared less about who she slept with. I think this is an important factor to note. Honestly, I have the opposite reaction that most men have upon learning that their wife had sex with a man with a huge dick. Most men feel rage, I don't.

Over time, the fighting stopped and what happened was, in an effort to manage our kids, our jacked up financial situation and life in general, we became friends. I lived so close and I was always ether picking up the kids or dropping them off that she never hesitated to call me to fix things or mow the yard or whatever. My in-laws never treated me as if we were divorced. Her entire family took my side when it came to choosing sides, so there was never any uncomfortable family gatherings. We did Christmas together and we took the kids on outings together.

Just after a year of being apart, we started doing the occasional booty call thing. There was no date, no romance, just her showing up at my apartment, stripping and us doing it quick and dirty, then she'd be gone. For me anyway, it was just getting off.

One Friday night I was over at the house and we sat out on the back patio and talked. She conveniently cracked open a bottle of Jack Daniels and as I grew intoxicated, we mapped out our strategy for getting back together - for the kids. By chance, my pager went off and it was the number of a girl I had been seeing. My wife (then ex-wife) called the number and basically told the lady that I was married and to never call back again. That made for an easy break-up.

When I woke up in bed the next morning with my wife, the kids walked into the room and in spite of being a little confused, seemed happy. I of course had this sinking feeling in my gut, and it wasn't the ill effects of nearly half a bottle of Jack.

It took almost another full month before I cleared out of my apartment and fully moved back in the house. Over the next year, we sold the house, moved into a new home and had even had a few more threesomes with friends. But the trouble began again. My wife has a temper that goes from zero to bitch at the snap of a finger. She fights extremely dirty in terms of the words she uses and the things she says. Things that you would never consider saying to someone you love, regardless of how upset you are, are simply tools in her fight. In short, when she is upset, she goes for the jugular verbally. And then, 15 minutes later wants to know if you'd like a bowl of ice cream. She is not bi-polar, but she does fight like she is.

Over time, I simply learned to suppress all emotion for the sake of the kids and the sake of my sanity. I wrote about some of this in Revolutionary Road. Instead of restating it here, just click the link.

I truly believe that it is possible to separate sex from love. That is, I do believe that marriages between two loving and committed people can include outside sexual partners as long as everyone is open and honest. But I do not believe that you can fake passion, even if you are in love.

I know that I should probably see a counselor to help me deal with the feelings and perhaps help me unlock the passion that I have withheld from my wife all these years. But I suppose that is why I have a blog where I write about things like this. So, AWILTAGM, I hope this provided you some insight to at least my reason. It does seem like such an easy task, but when you dig a little deeper, it really isn't.

Questions or comments from the group are appreciated!

Cue the Pool Boy...

2011-10-30T08:04:00.001-05:00

So last night we get in bed just as SNL is coming on (a rerun) and my wife asks if I want to play. Before I can answer, she reaches over to the bedside table and pulls out the small vibe I like. Before I can slip off my underwear, she is rubbing the vibe over the length of my dick, over my balls and between my thighs. Okay, I'm game!

I often feel really inadequate when I write about how our sex life goes. She initiates, I require some outside stimulation either in the form of a toy or her telling me something really naughty or most often, me imagining something naughty, and then she rides my dick to orgasm. The entire saving grace of our sex life is that my wife cums faster than any woman I have ever known. Clearly, she is masturbating but using my dick as the toy. Of course, I am masturbating too. I guess that is what makes me feel inadequate about the whole thing.

I read so many blogs from wives who either have husbands who have no desire or not enough desire for sex, or the husband is bi/gay and the wife is having to deal with that. I admit, I am totally turned on by reading the words of women who find sex and sometimes love, outside of the marriage. But I also read the pain these women experience and I read what they desperately need from their husbands. They seem to miss the feelings of the husband wanting, desiring, craving them sexually. I totally get it. If I could make it happen for my wife, I would. But I have learned it isn't something you can fake. In my mind, it would just be so much easier if we had a pool boy who could service my wife as needed, but I think we all know, that isn't what a wife craves. All the time, anyway.

As she took her position on top of my body, she placed the small vibrator right at that spot between our bodies where it would give us both pleasure. The combination of my hard dick inside and the vibrator pressing against her and no telling what was going through her mind gave the obvious result. When she reaches that special place, her body trembles and her arms, placed firmly on my chest, shake. I have to admit, for years, I wondered if this was just some act. Does she have such an intense orgasm that her body literally trembles?

As she calms herself, I continue a slow motion of moving in and out. She grabs the small vibe and starts using it on that area just below my balls. Oh, my.

As our routine goes, I make a movement indicating the need for a change of position. She rolls off of my body and then lays on her stomach, ass slightly lifted. I promise, this is nothing to do with me fantasizing about doing a guy, but I just prefer to take her from behind. It also gives me a reason to place the vibe in my ass. Okay, maybe that has to do with being bi, but I think many completely straight men would enjoy the feeling if they just gave it a try.

Over time, I have perfected being able to place the small toy all the way in with ease. My wife makes a joke about the fact that it is in so far she can barely hear it. Ha ha. But she can feel it. The vibrating effect gives me incredible sensation but it also transfers into the feeling of my dick inside her pussy. She begins to moan again. I want so desperately to ask her how many of her friends she has confessed to, that her husband loves a toy in his ass, but there won't be time. The thought is all it takes and I unload several days of pent up energy just as she cums loudly, again.

We are both satisfied, but what she really wants - what she needs is for me to aggressively take her. She would love for me to pin her against the way and just fuck her. She had a lover once who did that for her and I know she wishes I would do it. I just don't feel it. I need a pool so I can find a pool boy.

A Familiar Scent...

2011-10-26T17:26:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure what I had eaten the night before to cause such an intense dream. Like everyone, I occasionally have sex dreams, but this was different.

I came to consciousness as a a neatly trimmed pussy began to straddle my face. I couldn't see anything but the black pubic hair and the lips of the pussy sliding up my chin and onto my mouth. It was of course, my wife. But it was my wife when she was 19. I was the one to tell her about the concept of trimming the pubic region. She was not overgrown - she was fashionable enough to avoid the bush exploding from a bathing suit, but now, she was very closely trimmed.

I recognized the scent from some 25 years ago too. It was different then. I craved her scent and would eat her until neither of us could take it anymore and needed insertion! In this dream however, she covered my mouth briefly with her pussy before lifting off of me and then, it was as if she had disappeared. I remember asking myself in my dream, why would she stop?

When she lifted away, I could no longer see. I don't know if it was because the room was dark or if it was because I was blindfolded. There is someone with us in the room, but things are very quiet. Moments later, she nudges me and softly says, open your mouth. I can see her face now and she giggles quietly. When I open my mouth, I realize my mustache and my lips are covered with cum. Men's cum.

My wife has always been turned off by my bisexuality. And like real life, when I gladly begin to take the cum into my mouth, she seems to laugh at first but then appears put-off by the entire scene. I still can't see who the man is but I can feel him lift her. Her pussy is back over my mouth and though I have no way of knowing if I am tasting the cum that was on my mouth already or if it is coming from a creampie, the mixture of her scent and the texture and taste of the the man's cum drives me over the edge.

I awoke with a throbbing hard-on and could not get back to sleep. My morning shower included a full load splashed along the tile. And it only makes me crave it more.

Korea: Cheaters...

2011-10-17T05:48:00.001-05:00

Note: I recently posted about a year I spent in Korea during the 90's. I hope to occasionally add updates to explain how that year had an impact on me.

There is an old saying in the military, What goes TDY, stays TDY. For those not in on the lingo, TDY stands for Temporary Duty - the equivalent of a business trip in the civilian world. The idea behind it may have started as a matter of security. What they were saying was, if the military sent you on a mission, you should not come back and talk about all the details when you returned from that assignment. I think later it was used as a way of covering up indiscretions by guys who were out paying for whores and cheating on their wives. In other words, if you happen to see me misbehaving while we are TDY, don't mention it when we get home and I'll do the same for you.

During my time in Korea, married people openly had affairs with co-workers, married men routinely paid Juicy Girls for lap dances and for the most part, if anybody was getting a little something on the side, it was played off as just a normal way of life where the majority of the people there are on remote (meaning, unaccompanied by their family) tours. A lot of these relationships ended badly, especially when it was time for the married person to leave Korea and go back to his or her family. The other partner is shocked that the person they have been having this relationship with isn't going to divorce. I can just imagine all the letters that have been written to a wife in the states from a girlfriend, disgruntled that the husband isn't divorcing.

One of my co-workers in particular (there were so many) was dating a Department of Defense school teacher. She knew he was married of course, and just took it in stride. She told me she loved him but she just assumed that he would leave at the end of his year and go back to his wife, even though he had told her otherwise.

During Christmas that year, the running/drinking club I was with (more on that another time) decided to go to the base family housing (for the small contingent of people who had families with them) and sing Christmas Carols for anybody willing to answer their door. It was an excuse for a bunch of people to wander around, drinking heavily and share some Christmas spirit. When the caroling was done, my co-worker and his lady friend came back to my dorm so we could pee and figure out what to do next.

Aside from daily self abuse, I hadn't had any sex during my time in Korea. The idea of a threesome sounded fantastic to me, and who better to do it with then people cool with cheating? Of course, we had all had several drinks during the singing festivities so I was not too shy about opening up the topic. When I first suggested it, the couple looked at one another, almost as if they were giving the idea serious consideration. There was some polite chuckling and even a little flirting on the part of the teacher. When her boyfriend left to use the restroom, she even let me show her my dick - something I was happy to do. She told her boyfriend that I had a nice dick when he returned from peeing and instead of being upset like some guys might, he asked me to show him. Of course, I did.

I really felt like we were close to just stripping down and having a big ol' threesome, or at minimum, perhaps they would have let me watch them fuck while I jacked-off, but it was not to be. Like a 12 year-old whining, I must have appeared really desperate trying to convince these two to get nekkid in my dorm room. I think they were polite about the whole matter. In fact, the next time I saw them together, there was no awkwardness to the situation.

My co-worker ended up leaving Korea for the states just a month or two before I did. I saw the teacher a few more times during our running club events and she seemed slightly depressed but as she expected when I first met her, her boyfriend was back with his wife and family in the states and she was moving on.

Not so Beautiful Lady...

2011-10-15T07:39:00.001-05:00

I'm sure I'm not the only guy who has ever had a fantasy that goes something like this. I am at a hotel bar (out of town on business) just having a beer after dinner when I spot this incredibly attractive woman. Of course, she is in full war-paint, made up like she is going out for a night on the town. She has incredible long legs, her skirt is a bit too short and her cleavage is spilling out of her top. This is a woman who is clearly out of my league and I stand no chance of even asking her the time of day much less to have a seat at my table.

But because this is a fantasy, she somehow joins me and we make small talk as she does all those sexy things that women in movies do. For no other reason than things work out this way in my mind, she is walking with me to the elevator and once inside and the door shuts, we are kissing. It has been so long since I have kissed a woman with great passion, and this woman really works for me. I grab her ass, it is so perfect, and fondle her as we continue to kiss, breaking it off only when we arrive to my floor.

Once in the bedroom, I offer her the restroom if she needs it but she declines. Instead, she is ready for action now. My mind races, of course, contemplating condoms and such. I have never cheated on my wife like this, and since I'm fixed, condoms aren't something I keep with me, but why would this beautiful woman come to my room if she wasn't some how infected with something. I decide to take the risk. I just have to taste this woman.

We continue to make out and now, my slacks are somewhere on the floor. My tie and shirt manage to remove themselves and my fully erect penis is being grabbed by the incredibly sexy woman. There is so much of a chance that I am going to shoot my load in her hand because I haven't been this turned on in a decade.

She remains fully dressed in spite of my efforts to grab at her skirt and her top. I want those tits in my mouth and I damn sure plan to eat her pussy until she soaks my face with her juices. She whispers that she would like to blow me, but concerned about my sudden urge to unload, I believe it would be best if I serviced her first. At least then, I wouldn't feel bad about cumming in 12 seconds.

As I move my hands to reach for her panties beneath her skirt - my plan is to simply gain access, she is suddenly nervous. Of course, you dear reader know exactly where this is going, don't you?

In my fantasy, when it is revealed to me that this stunningly beautiful woman happens to have a dick, I do not miss a beat. I blow her. I look into her beautiful eyes as I enjoy every inch of her dick, caress her balls and finger her ass. I am in heaven.

------OOOOOO------

So one night about 12 years ago, I went into a neighborhood bar that offered a Karaoke night and drew a good crowd. I sat down at the bar and ordered a beer, surveyed the room and sitting a few stools away from me was a man dressed as a woman. It was horrific. It is possible he had been forced as part of a lost bet to do this. He had make-up on, but over his five-o'clock shadow of a beard.

Needless to say, my fantasy still has not come true.

Korea Before Porn...

2011-10-04T05:55:00.000-05:00

Note: I recently posted about a year I spent in Korea during the 90's. I hope to occasionally add updates to explain how that year had an impact on me.

Before there was everyday access to the Internet by most people, you could still go out and purchase magazines and videos that had porn. You could if you were in a city with adult book stores anyway. The base I was at didn't have an adult book store. The best they could muster was Playboy and Penthouse. I would buy Penthouse Letters, the first place I recall reading stories that centered on my interest in married women having sex with men with the knowledge and acceptance of the husband. A club on base also rented naughty movies of sort - Playboy models posing nude to music. Quite lame. The other option was a few friends from the states with similar interests (nekkid women) who would try to send me "care packages" which might include magazines or videos.

It isn't that the South Koreans were sexually repressed, but the base I was stationed at had a customs section that would go through mail packages and confiscate any porn that people tried to send. One guy, Vern, an older retired military guy who had an enormous dick he had spent years fucking other guys wives with, decided he would send me a video compilation of him bedding several different women. I'm sure the Customs people enjoyed it, but I never got it. Another friend was able to get past the customs inspectors with a video labeled "National Geographic: Wild Animals". That one was pretty wild given my inexperience with porn movies. It featured oddities - a guy with two dicks, a girl with extremely long nipples, women with overly enormous tits. Good times, but not a lot to jack to.

I imagine the people who are now stationed at the base I was at. The Internet gives them daily access to their loved ones back home as well as all the erotic and porn you could imagine. It hardly qualifies as a remote tour!

Dammit!

2011-10-02T06:30:00.000-05:00

I have one of these weather proof deer cameras that hunters use. I use mine to catch glimpses of the animals that frequently wander around our small piece of paradise. I have more pictures of deer than I will ever need, but it is entertaining to look at.

So I had the camera set up to try to catch some critters that had been eating plants from my wife's flower bed. We were getting ready to spend some time in the hot tub, so I thought, why not move the camera just a bit so it would face the patio. I know, naughty! Well, we put on one hell of a show. There were tits flopping around, dick bouncing back and forth, ass in the air, the whole 9 yards. It's amazing how well one performs when he knows it is for an audience.

So this morning, I walked out with the dogs and crabbed the SD card from the camera, eager to pick out a few action shots to share with you readers who might enjoy a few mid 40's married folks playing in the jacuzzi. Unfortunately, something malfunctioned and the card was corrupted. I even went into command line mode to see if I could recover the files, but no luck.

Dammit! I so wanted to see my fuck-face while pounding my wife from behind as I squeezed her big tits for the camera! Oh well, maybe another time.

Big Cities in My Dreams...

2011-09-28T06:13:00.000-05:00

I wonder if the people we see in our dreams but don't recognize as someone we have met are simply made up by our minds based upon all the potential faces and bodies that could possibly be in the universe, or if they are people that we do already know but can't seem to recall? I have a series of recurring dreams that are based upon certain locations. I feel like I know the locations (places I have been) but they are never the exact reality of the actual place. In other words, if I am for example in my dream at a place I used to work, the building is familiar, but there are different features, floor plans, and people. If the people in the dream are the equivalent of extras in a movie passing by on the street or in a restaurant, that would be one thing, but very often the main characters in the dream are total strangers to me, yet they play key roles in my dreams. Weird.

I have a lot of what people identify as anxiety dreams. I am late, can't get the school locker open, I'm being chased, I run but my body moves in slow motion. I also have a lot of dreams about restrooms. I'm not a huge believer in repressed memories, but I often have dreams where at least one of the scenes takes place in weird, maze like restrooms. For me, it is either about sex - I am trying to find a place to masturbate in private or I am trying to show my dick to another man in hopes that he will let me see his, or it is about my real-life anxiety about trying to find a place to go to the restroom in private! There are always obstacles in these restrooms. Either a stall door is missing or the commode is dirty beyond use or it is broken. Sometimes, I find myself in the women's bathroom by accident. It is always something. These bathrooms are always the large locker room type places. Mazes of shower stalls, toilets, sinks, lockers, but they are not in some uniform fashion that any competent architect would have designed. And the restrooms are familiar to me as if they are some extraction of a memory of places I have been.

One of the most incredible recurring themes is what I have labeled Big Cities. It is based upon the small town I grew up in and I know the exact street where it takes place. There is a long street of homes, each of which is totally unique in architecture. I do that sort of dream flying, that magical power where I can jump really far, from one structure to the next that gives me the mobility of flying, but really, I am mostly weightless like an astronaut.

The homes on this street are not abandoned, but as I go through them, I usually do not encounter any people. The porches on these homes are incredible. Perhaps I watch a little bit too much of Home and Garden TV, but if I could somehow print pictures of the fascinating details I see in these homes, I could publish a coffee table book of great ideas that I have not seen elsewhere. Because I don't usually encounter anyone, I have time to look and really inspect the detail. My interest seems to be in the beauty of the detail, but of course, I am a voyeur and occasionally I look in bedrooms for evidence of sex. When my dream takes that turn, the sex I am investigating is that of someone I know; a family member, a co-worker, an acquaintance. Also, because I have seen these places in my dreams before, I seem to know whether I am interested in looking further or moving on to the next house. I move from house to house at rapid speed until I find something that catches my eye. I have no idea why in my dream, I refer to this street as Big Cities, other than I think each one of the individual homes is like a city of its own. Who knows?

I do occasionally encounter people and there is one recurring couple I meet often. A mother and a daughter. They both appear to be young (think 20's) but one is clearly the mother. I have often debated with myself if the mother is my girlfriend from high school (one I dream of often in other contexts) and if the daughter is actually my daughter from this girlfriend.

I have written before about this girlfriend. While we were dating, very early in our relationship but after we had been having sex (unprotected), she had an abortion. She told me that she had gone on a date a week before our first date with a guy who gave her a Quaalude and took advantage of her while she was barely conscious. We talked about this only a few times during our relationship. I was so confused about the whole thing and admittedly, a bit naive. As I got older, I wondered the obvious things; could it have been me who got her pregnant? Why would she lie? How would she have known it was this other guy who got her pregnant when clearly I had sex with her a week after the supposed date-rape incident? This small moment in time has nagged at me from time to time for years. I don't have much of an explanation for these dreams, but the meetings with this young mother and her daughter who seems to be nearly the same age at least potentially ties to an episode from my youth, whereas most of the other intricate details of the dreams can't be pinpointed to anything specific.

Why I have assigned the name of this series of architecturally detailed homes along the familiar street as "big cities" in my dreams makes no sense to me, yet it stays with me. If only I had a video camera for my mind.

Flash

2011-09-26T06:23:00.000-05:00

My wife makes me laugh sometimes. Late yesterday afternoon as we grilled some fish on the patio, she got up from the picnic table and proclaimed that she absolutely loved it out here. We don't live deep in the woods, but there are little to no neighbors nearby. I asked her why (not that I couldn't list off a dozen reasons myself), and she responded by pulling the top of her dress down to her waist and letting her tits bounce out for a minute or two. "That's why."

I chuckled and then said, "Hold on, let me grab my camera." But she was done playing.

Note to self: Keep camera handy!

Long Distance...

2011-09-24T06:10:00.000-05:00

When I spent a year serving on a remote tour in South Korea in the 1990's, life was a whole lot different for the average military family living thousands of miles apart from one another. This is a time when cell phones were non-existent to the average person, there was no such thing as unlimited international long distance plans in a price range that a military family could afford, and the Internet was still just something that only the geekiest of your friends were familiar with, and it still involved using a phone line and a modem. In short, communication with loved ones was limited to a rare phone call made standing in the hall way of a dormitory (not very conducive to discussing family matters or having phone sex), and letters that took about 10 days from the time you wrote them until the time they were received.

During my time in Korea, I lived on about $200 a month. My entire paycheck stayed home with my wife and she would put money in a second checking account for me each payday. Thankfully for me, but probably much to my detriment, I could buy a case of beer for about $10. My living conditions were actually not bad compared to my friend Pancho (a regular reader here) who was stationed up on the DMZ at the same time as I was living comfortably south of Seoul. While I lived in a room to myself, carpeted with cable TV, he was living in a barracks with 4 roommates, bunk beds and tile floors that the Army required to be polished to a shine. Remember kids, when the recruiter tells you that "The Air Force is a great way of life" they are comparing it to the Army! The money I didn't spend on beer a few six packs at a time, covered purchasing and mailing back home cheap souvenirs for the wife and kids, and the occasional night at the club looking at the not so pretty dancing girls hoping an American would buy them a $10 juicy drink which might lead to marriage and a trip to the states, or at minimum another source for hot dogs at the base commissary.

It had only been a month or two at best since our last MFM threesome with JD when I left for Korea, and in spite of me telling my wife that she was free to use him for her sexual needs (as if a husband can really give a wife permission) while I was gone, she insisted there would be no hanky-panky, and I better keep my dick to myself as well. I don't have solid numbers to back it up in court, but in the 11 months I was gone (I was home for a month during the middle) she and JD had probably been fucking at least 2 to 3 times a month or more, and frankly, I have no problem with that, of course.

For myself, I never once cheated during my time gone, though if truth be told, it wasn't that I wouldn't have if the opportunity had presented itself. I spent the majority of my time in Korea in a weird depression. I recall coming home from work and spending hours drinking beer, one after another, listening to depressing music or watching whatever crap was on TV that was a year old and just making it to Armed Forces TV.

My wife and I had been going through a really rough patch, and as much as I hated to be away from my kids for that year, I needed to get away from my wife. Just because people can have good sex and kinky play time doesn't mean they get along otherwise, and believe me, she was ready for a break from me, too.

The problem with being cut off from immediate communications is, that when you are able to communicate, everything is distorted by time. Imagine after a few beers deciding to write a heartfelt letter explaining how much you want to make things better. Imagine at the same time, the wife is writing a letter explaining how pissed off she is about fill in the blank thing that you had done. Neither of those letters will get there for about two weeks. In the mean time, you are able to speak on the phone and the issue she has written about comes up. You work it out and both are happy. But now, she receives the lovely-dovey heartfelt letter from you, and you receive the pissed off letter she sent 10 days ago. Even though you have already resolved the issue, the painful words written by her just make you upset, all while she is on cloud 9 because of the letter you sent.

This is all probably way to complicated for someone who has grown up in the modern age of instant communications, but I suspect older folks can understand. Just imagine what it is like responding to letters, when letters are being written back and forth almost daily. You receive responses to questions you asked a month ago! Meanwhile, your timeline is occasionally being updated by the phone calls. I recall times making a phone call and being shocked at my wife being upset with me when I had moments earlier received a wonderful and romantic letter from her. Of course, on her end, she had just read a letter written by me complaining about something she had written a while back, an issue that had been resolved! What resulted in those days was a roller coaster of emotions subdued with lots of drinking.

To be continued...

On the First Day of the Repeal...

2011-09-21T06:08:00.000-05:00

I have mentioned before that I work in a military environment so the repeal of the DADT things has been something that I have quietly been waiting for. It took me a long time into my adult life to fully accept that I was bisexual, or if that isn't the proper label, at least sexually attracted to both woman and men. I figured this out though when I was over a decade in to a military career and the primary breadwinner for a wife and two kids. Believe me, I was not about to run up and down the halls of my building proclaiming my desire to suck dick!

I confess that over the years of growing into myself, my acceptance and embracing of these feelings, that I took the easy road too many times. By that, I mean that I giggled along with jokes about gays or probably more importantly, for at least a number of years, I never expressed my honest point of view when topics of gays came up. I know that we are not all required to put ourselves in jeopardy (loss of job, etc) to defend a point of view to every nutjob who says something ugly, but in a way, I see some of my lack of standing up no differently than many people of a previous generation who said nothing when those around them made racial slurs about their fellow citizens. I do regret that, and these days, while one must choose their battles carefully, I never hesitate to share my support for the repeal, often to the dismay of long time associates who are from another time.

I had a strange phone call yesterday from a guy I have known for over a decade. In all honesty, he is a man who is very smart but he frankly gives me the creeps. Anyway, the nature of his call was that with the repeal, perhaps it would be funny to make a few phone calls to former colleagues, guys we had joked around with in years gone by as being gay, and ask them if they were coming out officially. These guys are not gay at all, by the way, but I guess this guy just felt the need to see how I was reacting to the repeal. I couldn't offer up as much as a chuckle. It isn't as though I have lost any sense of humor, but most straight people simply cannot imagine the amount of fear involved in being outed in the military prior to just the last few years. To go along with jokes of this nature on this day was not my idea of fun.

For a few moments, I also wondered if this guy was calling me to see if I was going to come out. Perhaps he had heard the fact that I have blown a few of our mutual friends, and he was giving me an opportunity to simply say, "I don't find it funny; those guys aren't gay, but I am." I didn't. But I did tell him another truth - that I was really busy and had to hang up.

You would have thought that on the first day of being repealed, two things would have happened. A bunch of anti-gay people would have been conducting witch hunts or offering prayers to save the military, and you would have expected a literal parade of rainbow adorned gay military guys swishing along the hall ways offering their asses to any takers. Neither of these things happened. In fact, at my base, the first day of the repeal was no different than the last day of the ban on gays. We have wars going on in multiple theaters of operations and people have work to do, and they did it.

No Scarlett Pictures Here...

2011-09-17T07:04:00.000-05:00

I love Scarlett Johansson and especially loved her in Lost in Translation with Bill Murray and A Love Song for Bobby Long with John Travolta. In all honesty, her look is not really my type, but the performances I have enjoyed from her make me want to see her nekkid just the same. I would have felt much better had she e-mailed me the pictures directly, but getting them from a buddy of mine was at least something.

Of course I could post them, but why sit around waiting for a letter from a lawyer? Plus, I'm sure you can see them on the Google somewhere.

I genuinely had no idea she was only 26 years old. I have a son who is only 4 months younger than her. Suddenly I feel like an icky, creepy old guy who sits in front of his computer looking at nude pictures on the Internet. Damn you, IMDB for revealing how young she is.

More Tub Fun

2011-09-11T06:39:00.000-05:00

We sat out on the back patio enjoying the relatively cool evening and drinking a few cold beers. At some point, we ended up nude (of course) in the Jacuzzi and before long, we were fucking in several different positions, moving from seat to seat to find the jets that hit all the right spots.

As I was taking her from behind, feeling the jets of water shoot through her legs and across my balls (God, that feels good), she asked me to reach around and play with her pussy. Rubbing and playing and fingering as my dick slid in and out, I suddenly felt an urge I had not felt in years.

I pulled out and replaced my dick with several fingers in her pussy and rubbed her butthole with my thumb. I didn't even contemplate ass sex in the hot tub - I just don't think that would work out at all. But after a few seconds, I urged her ass up above the water having her place her knees on one of the seats. I have to admit, part of the thrill is the thought that, with the lights of the tub on, anyone who could see into our yard (there is no privacy fence) could see us in action. This made me even harder. I leaned forward and began furiously licking her tiny pucker while still fingering her. This action not only caused her to grind her ass into my face, but also moan loudly enough that if anyone was within a quarter mile of our house, they would hear it!

I moved my attention to her pussy and licked and fingered until she came loudly and powerfully. At that point, she reached for the controls and turned off the lights that light up the tub. I started to replace my fingers with my dick but she moved around and instead positioned herself on top of my dick, floating us to the other side of the tub where I could sit down and have her ride me to completion.

The View...

2011-09-04T06:19:00.002-05:00

Our families met when our fathers were both in the military. The adults were involved in the older kids Scouts and Little League and us younger kids played together. Years later when my father retired and we settled back home in Florida, their family did the same moving five or six houses down the street from us.

The youngest daughter was a year or two behind me in school but we were great friends. She was blond, had a beautiful face and it was only a matter of time before she would attract the attention of the jocks and even college aged guys with her incredible body and what would become an impressive rack. In spite of our friendship, I never stood a chance at romance with her.

I always hung out with her older brother who was one grade ahead of me in school. We would swim in the pool in their backyard with the other neighborhood kids, and I loved seeing the girls in the family frolicking around in their bikinis. I wonder how obvious it was that most of us 14, 15 and 16 year old guys constantly had boners when we swam at their house?

One afternoon, the older brother and I and one other friend of ours were swimming in the pool throwing a small football around when the younger sister came out to see what we were doing. She and I chatted for a minute or two then I told her she ought to join us so we could play Marco - Polo or something like that. She was game and said she'd go change and be back in a minute.

In the mean time we continued to throw the ball and at one point, the ball went over my head and landed outside of the pool. I swam over to the side, lifted myself out and took two steps off the pool deck and reached down to grab the football from the flowerbed between the deck and the house. When I stood up, I was staring directly into the bedroom window of quite possibly the most impressive thing I had seen in my life.

For some unexplainable reason, the sister had failed to close the blinds and when my eyes focused she had just lifted her t-shirt over her head (the bra was already gone) and her incredible, beautiful, full, delicious and firm tits stood out as impressive as you might see in a fine magazine. She reached down for the bikini top on her bed and in a second had it on and was turning to walk out the bedroom door.

"Throw the ball!" my friend yelled, as I stumbled back toward the pool, completely lightheaded. I tossed the ball in no general direction and simply fell into the pool. It wasn't as though I had never seen or even felt a boob at that age of my life, but I had never seen her boobs, and I had dreamed of them for some time. As far as I was concerned, we may have well just made incredible love.

I didn't tell her what I saw, that day anyway. Later when I did, she swore that she thought that blinds were closed and further branded me a peeping Tom. In spite of the fact that both her parents and mine always thought we would be a great couple, she had bigger interests.

As an adult, she dated several local celebrities, pro football players (a few names you might recognize) and other rich men. My wife is of course jealous of her beauty, but in spite of that, I stay in touch occasionally via Facebook. She is not married, but lives with an older, not so handsome but very rich guy. She is still beautiful in her mid 40's but I suspect the boobs have begun to sag. Even though, I'd like to touch them, you know, just to finish what I started when we were teens.

The Republican primary race is getting seriously crazy now…

2011-08-27T15:57:00.000-05:00

Bill Clinton

announces his support

Michele Bachmann

for president

More Wives Like This one, Please...

2011-08-21T07:00:00.000-05:00

I like to go through the casual encounters ads on Craigslist just to see what other kinky folks are up to and this one caught my eye:

My fantasy is to watch my husband suck you off!!! I really want to see him handle a cock! Who knows, maybe I'll join in! We are an awesome couple, fun, clean and attractive. Will send pics to serious reples. If you are D/D free, discreet and, preferably, well hung, help make our fantasy come true tonight!! We'll make it worth your while!

That one totally turns me on. Of course, during our threesomes when there was any hint of me going down on our FB, my wife would turn away. Totally turned off by my Bi side. Some husbands are just lucky, I suppose.

Infidelity and Jealousy...

2011-08-19T23:10:00.000-05:00

I am probably not the normal male when it comes to jealousy and infidelity. I was never, even from the first year we were married jealous when my wife talked to other men or when other men made eyes for my wife. I always took it as a compliment to my wife and in some strange way to me if we happened to be walking through a mall and a man seemed to admire my wife as we passed by. I know that is totally foreign to many men.

Even when we eventually began our several years long stint of "playing" with other guys, I never feared that she was going to leave me for the other guy. I was more turned on than embarrassed if the other guy had a bigger dick than mine. I found that not only did I not mind leaving the room to allow the other guy a few moments of "private" time with her, I was turned on just wondering how much fun they were having alone.

So the point is, I'm not the jealous type. But what of this turn on for infidelity - anyones infidelity? I have never had per se, a sexual romance with another woman. There are caveats to that, of course. I have eaten pussy, had my dick sucked, and had very intimate conversations with other women, but never to the point of intercourse or checking into a hotel. I am totally turned on though by reading about or learning of other people's infidelity. Just look at the blogs I read - mostly women and a few men who write about their infidelity.

So, to be clear: I'm not the jealous type and I get off on people being cheaters. Having said all this as a preface, I totally get it if a spouse becomes unhinged or at least upset upon learning or suspecting that the person they have made a commitment to has violated those promises. If a friend told me his wife cheated, I would feel his pain and support him. I may have an erection, but I totally get his mental state.

------OOOOOO------

My son is the stud I never was. Through college, he had assembled a stable of some of the most smoking hot young ladies, almost all of whom were extremely intelligent, well grounded and headed for success. He would go for periods of exclusivity with one but things would fizzle and he would dabble with those waiting in line for his attention. I always thought in spite of my probably misguided pride, that he was probably fighting with fire.

After college, his relationship with probably the most smoking hot of all these girls, became difficult due to distance. Both of them moved to different cities to pursue careers and things changed. In one of his rebound modes, he dated a girl that had been an acquaintance in high school but never fit the model of his "type". She was a school teacher, frumpy in appearance, and while she seemed to have an okay personality during the brief periods we interacted with her, we just couldn't make the connection of how he hooked up with her. Perhaps he was growing up and no longer needed the best looking girl on campus. Or perhaps there was more to her personality than we knew. We did not think this was a serious relationship at all because he would only see her when he was in town visiting, and then, he often had dates with several other girls from his stable. That sounds so awful to refer to them that way.

He also complained that she was crazy - that she would literally call his phone 75 times in an evening accusing him of being out with "some slut." In spite of the crazy jealous behavior, he would try to calm her down rather than simply jettison this troll, and he would go to her house and see her. Her parents simply loved him! We already despised her.

As seems to be the case so often these days, her birth control failed and she became pregnant. We had always warned our son to use protection and in fact, my wife constantly used the term "double-up", but apparently he felt confident enough to accept her claims of being on the pill. His fault, as far as I'm concerned. You can't get a crazy bitch pregnant if you don't fuck her in the first place.

I'm sure to readers here, my wife and I don't come across as the pillars of high morality, but we did take great care to instill in our kids the sense of responsibility needed to live in society. In spite of troubles we may have had in our own marriage (we were separated at one point for over a year), we always set aside our arguments and put the kids first. My son arranged a quick marriage and took his now pregnant wife with him to his new home in another city.

A year later with a young child, he has been miserable. For his job, he works long days and travels often. That can be a strain on any marriage, but when the wife is so incredibly paranoid and jealous, it only makes matters worse. All of the old girlfriends and platonic friends know that he is off the market, yet like other young men, he has hundreds of these people as friends on Facebook. His wife spends hours everyday imagining that he is cheating with all of them.

Her rage over publicly posted messages with such seductive language as, "How are things going?" or "Your baby is so cute" has caused phone call after phone call to his office where she demands that he remove the following list of sluts from his Facebook account. Don't get me wrong, I get that Facebook has destroyed more than one marriage when people suddenly hook up 20 years later with old flames from high school. But we aren't talking about that here. Her biggest rage is aimed at a long time family friend who he never dated and who has been in a long term relationship with a guy who is a friend of my son's. Hello! She is the last one this crazy bitch should be jealous of.

My son has convinced his wife to seek counseling and her doctor put her on some sort of medication. It worked briefly. But the craziness has escalated. Her rage has resulted in thrown items, bruises and finally, during a scene where she followed him to a co-worker's house (a male co-worker); she not only put dents in his car, but she slugged him in the face. When he called us to give the latest details, my wife contacted his local police department and asked them to call him. In the end, he went down and filed a police report but refused to actually press charges.

My wife asked him point blank if he has ever cheated on her. His response, a firm and absolute, "No, never." The crazy wife sent messages to all of their mutual friends on Facebook announcing that he was cheating on her. How do you respond to that? "No, don't believe my wife, the mother of my child; she is crazy." It is sadly, a no win situation. He has had to defend himself to colleagues of his who give him the look of disgust and shake their heads. He has had to defend himself to his in-laws who wonder why he would treat their daughter with such disrespect.

It has been all I can do to keep my wife from jumping on a plane and going to beat the living shit out of this whacked out young lady. Worse, we fear for the grandchild that we realize we'll never really have a good relationship with. This marriage is doomed and I'll happily pay for the divorce. But in spite of the long list of craziness the wife has displayed, my son will have no choice but to agree to giving the mother primary custody. His travel schedule very often includes months away from home (he is in the military), and at least for now, he can't offer any sort of predictable childcare arrangement. I just have this ugly gut feeling that he will come home from a trip to find that the bitch has torched the house and driven herself and the child into a lake.

Infidelity may be wrong, but jealousy is one sick bitch.

Shaved...

2011-08-17T06:27:00.000-05:00

The other morning I was reading one of my favorite bloggers and his Sunday Morning Questions. One of the questions someone asked him was about the differences in grooming styles of men in the midwest and where he now lives in the east. Part of his response was "Men in the Midwest have a tendency to follow trends that are about five years gone for the east coast guys. They also tend to hang on to some old trends (goatees, for example) that are even older." Holy crap, that's me!

I have never been the super stylish or faddish type, but I have to admit that my hair style is fashioned after something from Saturday Night Fever. Technically, I have a natural part in the middle which I don't care for, so I generally comb my hair straight back. If I use some gel, I end up with Denny Terrio hair!

The goatee was an outgrowth of retiring from the military. After 20 years of shaving everyday, most guys immediately grow a beard if only to see what they look like. But the truth is, I left the military almost 10 years ago and I still have this goatee. Monday night, I went in the bathroom and shaved it. I also trimmed down my mustache (hey, you can only handle so much change at once).

My wife immediately liked the bare chin - said it felt like she was kissing someone new. The next day at work, lots of "Oh My God" action. Several "You look like Tom Selleck" comments and the like. All compliments.

My goatee was completely gray. My hair is still brown but because I don't care enough to "Just for Men" it, it continues to get grayer. Losing the goatee though definitely took several years off my appearance. And if I can ever find a dick to suck, maybe I'll enjoy the feel of balls on my chin.

It is for your own good, ma'am...

2011-08-14T06:34:00.000-05:00

For the life of me, I don't know why this memory popped into my head the other day but it did.

When I was in the 8th grade, I had a class on agriculture and it was somehow associated with FFA (Future Farmers of America). It was actually a very informative course and I learned a lot of very useful and interesting things. At some point, we were learning about CPR and our instructor, a man who I now suspect may have been a serial killer, told us about an actual case where he had happened upon the scene of an accident and found a woman unconscious.

As he went through the steps of determining if she was breathing, and checking for pulse and whatever other things one would do, he explained that sometimes, people might come to consciousness and not fully understand what is happening and become violent. In fact, in order to do CPR, he described how it was necessary for him to unbutton the woman's blouse and remove her bra. Oh how I suddenly wanted to find an accident victim!

As he was pushing on the bare chested woman, she began to come to, realizing a strange man was on her partially clothed body. When she began to freak out (and who wouldn't), he told us how he had to punch her in the head to knock her out for her own good, so he could continue CPR to save her.

Even then, I thought this was a little excessive and crazy.

Nekkid Tub Time

2011-08-13T07:27:00.000-05:00

I guess we have become comfortable enough that even though there is no privacy fence, our house is secluded enough that we can skip bathing suits in our hot tub. I don't think we have bothered wearing them in months.

Just last night as the sun was finally going down, I went out and got the tub ready and I noticed two cars coming down the street. There is a nice family moving into a home at the very end of our street, so they have been slowly moving things in a little at a time. As I stood at the edge of the tub and saw the cars, I estimated just how much exposure there is from the brief line of sight between our garage and the house, onto the back patio where the tub sits. Basically, you would have to slow down to just a roll in order to get enough of a view, only to peer over the edge of the tub and look in at our exposed bodies. In other words, there is zero chance that someone can see anything below our necks as they drive by.

I know that my wife will occasionally masturbate during the day - she has confessed to phone sex on rare occasion and she has also told me how she uses one of the vibrators every once in a while. Big deal. But the other night while we were watching "The Big C", there was a scene where the main character masturbates to the voice of her gay friend while she is in the tub. This clearly turned my wife on.

So last night as we were in hot tub soaking and enjoying the occasional breeze that brought needed relief from the ridiculous heat outside, my wife began to look for a jet to play with. She asked me if I wanted to have jacuzzi sex and I told her to just enjoy herself - I'd be happy to watch. In all honesty, aside from the naughtiness of doing it outdoors, I'm not a huge fan of sex in water - be it a river, a pool, a beach, or the hot tub. To me, there is this almost rubbery sensation to it. But my wife needed to cum. As I lounged in the water, she found a jet near me then started to stroke my dick. A few times, I lifted my body up to expose my dick above the water so she could suck it, all the while letting her favorite jet create a tingling sensation just where she needed it.

Of course, I gave in and moved my body behind her so just the first inch or two of my dick was inside her. The sensation of the jets pushing past her and onto my balls was incredible. Several minutes into this slow dance of using the water as a sex toy, I heard one of the dogs bark. I looked up and could see car lights in the distance. With the lights surrounding our tub, it would be pretty obvious what was going on inside, even if all one could see was two heads. I reached up and turned off the interior tub lights and we continued on. My wife casually giggled to me, "I don't care if they see us - they have to know what we do in here."

I don't know how long the entire event lasted, but I came sooner than she did, and then suddenly my legs felt like they were going to cramp up. She suggested I straighten my legs and as I did, she just moved in closer to the jet that was working magic on her clit and let out her standard orgasmic moan. We both laughed a bit and I told her that it was a good thing we have a good filtering system.

When we finally got out, I wrapped a towel around my waist and walked over to the refrigerator inside the garage and grabbed a bottle of water. I heard the sound of a car coming down the road and thought to myself that if they had been a few seconds earlier, they would have seen us climbing out of the tub in the nude. My wife also heard the car coming and she simply let her towel drop to the patio floor exposing her huge tits and shaved pussy. I said, "Hey, there is a car coming." She just stood there and replied, "These people need to get used to seeing me in the nude; we were here first."

Naughty girl!

Only in Las Vegas: Not Really...

2011-08-11T06:41:00.000-05:00

Oh, I forgot about the pantiless lady I saw in Vegas. I was staying at Paris and on Friday morning, I got on the elevator at the 23rd floor. There was a lady already inside coming from a floor above mine, focused totally on her cell phone. She was a very thick black woman dressed like a not-so-expensive hooker, and as I watched her click away on her phone with really large fake nails, I thought to myself, "No hooker should have a larger beer-belly than me."

When we got to the casino level, the door opened and I held it open so she could exit first. It wasn't until I had stepped out that I realized her ass was fully exposed beneath some sort of sheer skirt. I suppose the idea was that the shirt she was wearing was supposed to cover her butt, but it had somehow become bunched around her waist. The result was, no panties, no thong, just fully exposed ass and I suppose if you saw her from the front, you could have seen anything not camouflaged by her generous belly.

As I followed her into the elevator lobby area, admittedly gawking at the bare ass, I caught the attention of a man standing there with his wife and presumably mother-in-law. His look was funny enough when he saw the ass, but when his wife realized what was visible, she looked like a cartoon character, complete with eyes popping out and back into the sockets several times. You could imagine the sound of a horn as the hair on her head seemed to stiffen up an inch or two.

I wasn't going any further than the lobby as I waited for colleagues that morning so when the portly hooker had left the area, the dazed woman looked at me and mouthed "Oh My God! Did you see that?"

"Yep!" I said as I laughed.

"Only in Las Vegas. Only in Las Vegas" was her response.

Good times.

What Happened in Vegas...

2011-08-07T06:40:00.000-05:00

No sex, unless you count the kind that happens in a hotel room in front of a laptop on $15.00 a day hotel Internet.

But there was quite a bit of drunken playing around that at one point involved pretending to kiss other guys for cameras. The stupid things we do after too many beers paid for by companies trying to get or keep business. Thankfully, I wasn't the biggest drunk of the group so my shenanigans were all but overlooked.

I didn't stand up on a soapbox and declare I was openly bi for all of Las Vegas to applaud, but at least several of my co-workers are probably wondering how much of it was cheerful, drunken, playing around as opposed to something I would do totally sober.

In the end, I found that I'm just not as young as I used to be and my days of partying hard are justifiably and thankfully over. I also found that while it is really hard to suppress my desire for gay sex, it is a lot easier when there is a constant stream of smoking hot women coming from every direction. Yea, there are a lot of old and out of shape people in Vegas, but lots of eye candy.

While I was in my hotel, my wife sent me a picture she took of herself int he shower. I love smart phones! When I got home last night, we went out for dinner and she showed me the nude photos that two of her regular admirers sent. One is a regular reader here (he has a nice big dick), the other is the last guy we had a threesome with years ago, and is not so well endowed. Poor guy, she told him, too. What she didn't tell me is whether or not she sent them pictures of herself. Of course, I hope she did, but that's just the sort of thing that gets me off.

What happens in Vegas...

2011-08-01T06:00:00.001-05:00

I'm going to be in Las Vegas most of the week for a conference with a number of my co-workers including both of my direct superiors. I'm flying out with my main boss, a lady I would not mind being sexually harassed by. Perhaps she'll ask me to help her with her luggage to her room...

I'm not big on traveling to conferences these days; it just means a load of work piling up for me when I get back into the office the following week. I used to love getting away, hitting strip clubs with the guys and such, but frankly, I usually end up in my room spending time catching up on the porn I haven't been able to get to. I know, sad and pathetic and in a way, a little creepy. You'd think I'd have grown out of looking at nekkid pictures by now.

My real concern is that honestly, I'd love to hook-up with someone for sex. A woman, a man, ideally both! In a perfect world, there is a bi-husband married to a Hotwife and they happen to be in Vegas and they are willing to share a few hours with a guy like me. I'm not holding my breath. Why is that a concern? Well, as nosy as some of my co-workers are, I can just see someone seeing me.

Even worse, I hope I can avoid the urge to come out to any number of my colleagues by offering to suck their dicks. That is more likely what will happen. Note to self: Don't go to Vegas, get liquored up and offer to suck everyones dick.

Maya or Lisa?

2011-07-25T06:13:00.000-05:00

We have been watching this show on History Channel, Ice Road Truckers.

So, Maya or Lisa? I'm torn. Oh sure, I'd like Maya and Lisa. I don't think this publicity image from History Channel does Maya any justice. She looks much better in a bikini. And Lisa had some blonde hair going a while back. If it was just someone to talk to and spend 12 hours on the road with hopes of ending up in the cab, it would be Lisa, for sure. But if it was just a quick romp, maybe Maya.

Smells Like...

2011-07-24T06:27:00.000-05:00

I heard the news about the ban being lifted the other morning at work and I thought of this image - Robert Duval and the beach scene. I know it isn't such a huge deal, but I genuinely can't wait to see which one of my military co-workers comes out first. Mostly, because I will want to suck his dick.

Finding V...

2011-07-19T06:20:00.000-05:00

When we were around the older boys, my brother, his brother or some of the neighborhood kids, we were just as athletic and adventurous as the rest. But when we were alone, we shared secrets about our dreams of being performers and such. And no matter how much we enjoyed dressing up in little outfits to pretend that we were members of a singing group, practicing dance moves and routines, somehow we always ended up in a hiding place where we could dare one another to carry out different experiments.

By this age, I definitely had found out about girls. We even talked about what it was to have a girlfriend, though in the sixth grade, I don't recall the urge to eat pussy or even suck a titty. Seeing boobs was definitely a desire at that age. But in spite of the interest in my female classmates, V and I always seemed to find a place to hide and play the dare game, just us boys. I vividly recall daring V to touch my erect dick with his tongue. He was timid but as soon as he took a tiny lick of my shaft, he knew that I would be returning the favor. If we only had known, if our instincts had only told us what to do next, I could have saved myself years of agonizing over the desire to actually have a cock in my mouth. But at that age, we only knew to dare one another to do things like touch a body part with the tongue.

I found V on Facebook. He still lives in Dayton where we used to be best friends back then. There is nothing overt about it on his profile, but clearly, he is gay. I want so badly to talk to him about our experiences and how those dares shaped his adolescences and adulthood, when did he "know" and how old was he the first time his instinct kicked in. After some brief exchanges, I suspect he saw from my profile that I was a regular married guy with wife and kids. I just want to blurt it out to him, "V, I suck dicks too!"

RTFM...

2011-07-13T06:18:00.001-05:00

This is so obvious when you apply any amount of common sense but I think a lot of straight people (and apparently Bi people) don't get it. Just because a person is gay, it doesn't mean they are sexually available to any other person wanting to engage in gay sex. This is no different in the heterosexual world. I know many women who will openly admit to a healthy sex drive, but they simply don't engage in every man who happens to have a penis. In fact, I can name a long list of horny men who would pass on an opportunity at bedding a long list of women. All of this is so basic and so obvious.

In my mind, I have been so eager to be as open as I reasonably could be about my bisexual desires that I have mistaken coming out to certain people that somehow it automatically ends up in some sort of sex or at minimum, lots of discussion about it. A while back I confessed to a gay man I work with about my closeted bisexuality and he was very matter-of-fact about the whole thing. He was happy to maintain the confidentiality of my confession and I was very relieved to tell yet another person. But since then, nothing. When I have made efforts to maybe bring up a topic of a sexual nature, the conversation is quickly diverted in another direction. In short, just because this guy is gay, he is not a pervert that sits at home looking at gay porn and desires to blow someone during lunch. Like I do.

I think that the vast numbers of anonymous people trying to hook up on Craig's List and places like that give you the impression that all you have to do is find someone with the availability and sex will subsequently occur. In reality, this being Bi thing is much more like being straight. I might have to work at it.

Visual Cues to Taste...

2011-07-12T06:24:00.000-05:00

I had to laugh at myself the other day. We were in a grocery store and as we went up and down the aisles, I mentally made note of each person I passed, man and woman, as to whether or not I had any sexual urge. I guess people do this all the time, but I really caught myself as it occurred to me that, if a woman has a really slender ass and legs, I have this desire to bend her over and lick her pussy from the rear. (Strangely, I feel this same urge when I see a nerdy looking, slender guy.)

The funny thing is, how do we know what pussy is good or bad from simply looking at a woman? There could be some tight, physically fit, 95 pound cheerleader type with the foulest twat ever known to woman while her chubby friend with the thunder thighs is sporting the most delicious specimen ever, right between her tree trunk legs. How will we ever know if we don't taste them?

In the Tub

2011-07-11T06:00:00.000-05:00

This is how we spend our evenings most nights of the week...

Big...

2011-07-06T06:15:00.000-05:00

I realized the other day that aside from the hour or less that I have here in front of the computer each morning before I get ready for work and my wife is still in bed, I really have no time to myself. I might make a run to the hardware store on my own but in terms of being at home by myself, it just doesn't happen. My wife is always here when I am here. This could be one of the reasons why when I travel for work I masturbate so much!

Yesterday was a rare day. I took the day off from work and as it turned out, my wife had to go to an appointment. I was working out in the yard when she left and I suddenly had this urge to do something naughty. Among the drawers and boxes of tools in my garage, there is a very small screw driver set used for working on watches. You probably have seen the sets with handles where the top spins so you can hold it in the palm of you hand and turn the screwdriver with your fingers. I have a set like that but the handles are plastic. One of these bent at some point, so I removed the metal portion and all that remains is the handle, about 4 inches long and about as big around as a pinkie finger.

We always have boxes of the latex type gloves around, either for cleaning house or working on the car and by chance, it seemed like one of the fingers would be perfect as a condom for my small screwdriver handle. I slipped the handle into one of the fingers, then dropped my jeans down in the garage and inserted the small thing into my hole. I stood up, pulled up my pants then went back out to the yard work I was doing. I love that feel. I really need to buy a butt plug.

A few minutes later, it occurred to me that I should try something a little bigger. I looked around the garage for something, but aside from taking a hack saw to a perfectly good larger screwdriver, nothing looked good. Then I remembered the small box in the closet of my office.

I went inside and pulled the box down to take a quick look. There are 4 or 5 old VHS porn tapes that we just never got rid of. Next to them is an old 8 inch plastic vibrator. We have another one similar in size that my wife keeps by the bed. My wife has tried to shove the big one up my ass before with no real success. I have always thought the answer was lube - lots of lube. But with time on my hands for at least another hour or so, I decided that I would see how far I could take it.

Back out to the garage, I stretched another glove finger over the large vibrator. I had my pants around my ankles and squatted to insert the device. It actually went in several inches with ease; having had the smaller one in for a good ten minutes had made it easier. On the garage floor, I was now on my knees reaching back to see if I could push it in further. I can just imagine someone driving by and seeing me like this!

I pulled up my pants and in doing so pushed it up just a bit more. But that was not going to work if I was to continue doing work out in the yard. I headed into the house, into the restroom and stripped my clothes off. In moving the vibrator around a bit, I realized that it still contained batteries and though the charge was low, it still worked. Oh yeah!

In less than a minute, I had worked the device all the way in with only the very bottom where the knob is exposed. That is probably 7 1/2 inches in me. And it felt so incredible. It tool me about another two minutes to blast my load and then I just stood there for several minutes enjoying some time alone.

After cleaning things and returning the big vibe to its hiding spot with the old VHS porn movies in my office, I returned to my yard work until my wife made it home from her appointment. She made a comment that I must love yard work because I looked like I was in such a good mood.

Interesting read...

2011-07-02T06:36:00.002-05:00

This is interesting...

More Than You Care to Know...

2011-06-26T06:33:00.000-05:00

There is no rhyme or reason for the wide variety of things that turn me on. One look no further than the list of links down the right side of the page to see that I'm into both men and women, swapping, older people, married cheaters, dicks, shemales, erotic stories and discussions, bi, straight, gay, I mean, I'm all over the road. You would think that I would be wanting to have sex several times a day if you realized that with a few clicks of the mouse I can have a full blown erection. On the other hand, I can sit and read the lurid details of several bloggers I follow, be totally fascinated and enjoy what I am reading, but have no physical reaction. I can also see my wife's huge tits and have no reaction at all, yet if she were to agree to take a picture of them and send them to a friend, I'd be rock hard, instantly.

Leather and bondage don't really do anything for me, though admittedly, I find some pictures of women dominating men to be interesting. While I am opposed to humiliation in general, there is something entertaining about the image of a two or three ladies sitting on the couch giggling at a husband's less than massive penis. I am also turned on by images of a husband standing next to a wife and her lover where the husband's dick is a lot smaller in comparison. Okay, so maybe there is something to humiliation. Maybe what I mean is, I don't like it when the humiliation is mean spirited. In spite of what some ads say, I don't think there is anything you can do about the size of your dick. So in a good way, it would be hot to have the wife really thrilled that she is about to enjoy a bigger dick than normal, but it would suck if the wife said, "you are not a real man because of something you have no control over."

I can totally see how it might be cute to pee on someone or be peed on, say if you were in a shower together, but in general, that sort of thing is not for me. I do like to watch other people pee though. There is something naughty about a lady lifting her skirt and peeing in a field.

Men in stockings or female panties, yes. Men who do not have the body to pull it off, no!

Men with vibes or dildoes in their ass, yes! Women with bowling pins shoved up anywhere, no!

Professional models in porn, no thanks. Amateurs, yes. People I might know, even better! One of the pages I check out is called More Ordinary People. It is just average men posing nude. There is a guy laying on a bed with his huge erect penis standing straight up. They say that everyone has a doppelganger; either this guy is one of my co-workers or there is a picture of his exact match. I have admired the huge bulge in this man's pants for a few years now (discreetly, of course), but it was the face in this photo that is so exactly similar.

The cream pie. There are so few good images or videos where you see one man cum in a woman only to have a second man (presumably her husband) go down on her immediately afterward to enjoy the cream pie. As fascinated as I am by this idea, I have never technically done it - like that anyway. Images of a woman with "evidence" is just a huge turn on. Cuckolds and Hotwife lovers everywhere seem to be attracted to this concept of taking back their wife by cleaning up the mess left by her lover. To me, the turn on is tied directly (I think) to my entire turn-on of cheating. I am totally, completely turned on by women who stray. Soccer mom's fucking the UPS guy? Love it! Wife fucking a co-worker at lunch? Details, please! Convenience store clerk dropping her jeans in the walk-in cooler while the beer delivery guy nails her from behind? Especially if her wedding ring is visible!

This also ties into panties. I confess that on more than one occasion (just a few times really) I availed myself to a dirty clothes hamper to inspect deposited specimens. My sister-in-law (twice) and a co-worker (once). That musky female odor is intoxicating. But like the cream pie, I also enjoy images of panties that show evidence of a recent male deposit. I briefly dated a girl who was really turned on by having sex (with me) and then going to work without showering. She said she loved the sensation of all the juices dripping out during the day. I guess I didn't appreciate that back then; I thought it was sort of gross. Now, I am turned on by the idea of a female co-worker coming to me and slipping down her panties to reveal the evidence of a lunch time tryst. In fact, on more than one occasion, I have imagined a cheating wife coming to my office and allowing me to go down on her to clean things up so her husband won't find the evidence of her infidelity.

I suspect there is some psychoanalysis that could take place from all these conflicting turn-ons. 1st, I think I'm turning gayer by the day. I crave sucking another man's dick. 2nd, I totally get off on cheating wives, even when it is my own wife. 3rd, I am more interested in the visual of other people having sex than I am of me, myself having sex. What a mess!

Anyone care to take a stab at my dysfunction?

Craig's List Response!

2011-06-19T06:02:00.002-05:00

What is wrong with people on Craig's List?

I posted a message on Missed Connections yesterday. I wasn't looking for the hook-up or anything, I just wanted to pay a compliment to a woman I came across. For some reason, I was hoping that one of the younger ladies in her office might occasionally check out Craig's List and see the message. Here is what I posted:

Maria at Quest Diagnostics - m4w (Med Plaza 1 - Hwy151)
You took my blood after having to call and confirm it needed taking. As you worked the phone and the computer screen, I couldn't help but notice how young and beautiful you looked given the color of your hair (I love a pretty woman with grey hair). Your perfect skin, beautifully structured cheeks and your lips had me staring way more than a married man should have. When I saw your eyes, I wanted to stare into them, but you were very professional and I didn't want to misbehave.

I don't need a girlfriend or want some naughty hook-up, but I did want to tell you how stunningly beautiful you are. I just didn't have the nerve while you were delicately sliding the needle in my arm.

This isn't the first time I've done something like this and I'm sure it won't be the last. I would never really expect a response back from a message like this, especially from the pretty lady for whom it was intended, but this morning, I checked my inbox, and this is what I got:

from S G @hotmail.com
to pers-@craigslist.org
date Sat,
subject Maria at Quest Diagnostics - m4w (Med Plaza 1 - Hwy151)
mailed-by craigslist.org

Gentleman for XXX NSA FWB For younger or older

Do people even read the things they respond to? Does the "Gentleman" think that I am going to somehow hook up with the lady in the ad and then send her his way? Dumbass.

Smoking Hot... Bitch!!!

2011-06-12T06:46:00.002-05:00

My wife and I took the sister-in-law, her husband and our nephew out with us to the military base to a small market yesterday. After walking around in the hot sun looking at OPJ (Other People's Junk), we went into the Base Exchange (think WalMart for military people) and they sat in the food court while I got a much needed hair cut. Yea, I can afford to go to a nice place, but I have been getting my hair cut at military barber shops since I was 18, so why stop now?

Anyway, when I finished, I walked out and joined them at a table in the food court. On weekends, you see mostly two things. Either really old retired people who just feel more comfortable spending time at the base (I don't fall into that category, by the way), or you see brand new airmen who have just complete basic with their families - either parents or young wives.

Before I could even take a seat and join my family, this incredibly attractive young lady caught my eye. My guess is she was college age. She may have had some Latina blood, but she didn't have distinctive Hispanic features common in the women around San Antonio. Her face, her cheek bones, her eyes and her perfect, I mean Hollywood perfect teeth immediately made me think she could have been a model. She caught my glance and I simply played my gawking off as I moved my eyes towards the rest of the seating area.

When I took a seat with my family, I was sure to face the direction that would allow continued inspection of this young specimen. Between idle chit chat with the people at my table, I continued in creepy middle-aged married man fashion to steal glimpses of this attractive girl. Of course, I would have to avoid the young lady feeling as though I was a stalker while simultaneously avoiding being caught by my wife who seems to recognize immediately when my eyes begin to focus on something wonderful.

I scanned below the table to see that this fine young thing was wearing shorts. What I could see revealed incredibly fit thighs and calves. Perfect skin. Just then, her airman showed up with a tray of food from one of the food court eateries. She took some chop sticks from the wrapper and began to scrape them together to prepare them for use. As she did this, I noticed some of the facial expressions she made during conversation with her young man. Easily, many of these looks would have been suitable for the cover of a magazine. I mean, it was either that this girl had practiced being beautiful and sexy for years, or she was just naturally stunning. I would have to engage in conversation with my nephew so as to avoid looking like a complete Ted Bundy.

My wife must have sensed something (she always does) because she actually looked over her shoulder to stare in the direction of my new girlfriend. I countered her suspiciousness by scanning the crowd on the other side of the food court and pointing out a few fat people dressed funny. She knows I'm a fan of observing people, so perhaps she would think that my obsession with the pretty girl was purely innocent.

When it was safe, I took a chance to gaze once again at the most beautiful woman in the world. And then it happened. I caught her just shoving huge gobs of lo mein noodles into her mouth, bypassing her perfectly white, perfectly shaped teeth and just stuffing herself. That wasn't even the bad part. Hell, that turned me on in fact. What was worse was that as she was expertly shoveling loads of noodles and spicy chicken down her gullet, she was obviously bitching at her young lover. The incredibly beautiful facial expressions had suddenly been replaced with these contorted glances and searing looks of bitchiness towards the guy. I could not get over how she went from an 11 on a scale of ten to simply horrid in a matter of seconds.

We can't all be beautiful - I get that. I have no idea if I was misinterpreting her facial expressions; maybe she has a palsy of some sort that flairs up with spicy foods. Who knows, perhaps this guy was confessing to her that during basic training, he realized he was bisexual and had fucked numerous guys in the shower and blown his training instructor. We simply don't know. I just know that no matter how beautiful a person is, bitchiness is ugly. I hope that kid enjoys the pussy while it lasts.

And with that, I discontinued my creepy middle-aged stalking of young ladies and pointed out a few funny looking people to my wife for her amusement.

The First Neighbor...

2011-06-09T05:50:00.010-05:00

This is a repeat of sorts - I had written about the first time a took a dick in my mouth back when I started this blog, but over the course of time have deleted many of the the original posts. I have had off and on correspondence over the years with this guy, and we have even tried to arrange for some MFM action with no luck so far. He reads and occasionally leaves comments.

------OOOOOO------

The first time I got the nerve to ask another guy about it was when a neighbor and lifelong family friend of my wife's brought his family over for a BBQ. I knew the guy really well, and he was just a few years younger. I was probably 26, he was 23. After eating and enjoying the day as well as lots of beer, the ladies had gone in the house with the kids to watch movies and the friend and I played darts out on the back patio and continued to drink.

I guess I had been thinking about it for some time and with enough liquid courage built up, I proposed that the loser of the next game should have to suck the winners' dick. He didn't even bat an eyelash at the suggestion and agreed. I was sort of shocked that he agreed, but figured I would push the envelope, and I purposely lost the game. He then said it was cool, and that I didn't really have to suck him - unless I wanted to. Before I could argue, he said "Let's do two out of three". This time, as hard as I tried to lose, he lost. It was like some sort of way telling each other that we both wanted to do it. I lost the third game and again, he said it was only a joke - unless I wanted to, and I said, "No, fair is fair."

We went out to a shed I had in my yard - more like a barn, big with electricity and A/C. It was really nerve wracking and we were both shaking really bad. I asked to see his dick and when he pulled it out, I saw for the first time that it was bigger than mine and uncut. I really wanted it. I then pulled out my dick and he touched it. The last time I had been in a situation like this, showing and touching dicks was when I was an early teen. But this time, I knew there would be more than just daring one another to touch.

In spite of the calm that a good beer buzz brings, we were both obviously nervous. I kept looking out the double doors of the shed back to the house to make sure nobody was coming. Finally, he said, "We don't really have to do this." I quickly responded, "I HAVE to do this."

With that, I dropped down and took his dick in my mouth. What I remember most was the musky smell of the pubic hair, it wasn't bad; it was incredible. That very first feel of an actual dick in my mouth - not a banana or a hot dog used as a prop to imagine what it would be like, was very similar to the sensation I got the first time my dick found it's way into a willing female. You can imagine with your hand how a warm and moist an inviting pussy will feel, but until you feel it the first time, you really have no idea. This was like losing my oral virginity! I sucked for a few seconds and then stood up. I just said, "You don't know how long I have waited to do that." He just sort of nodded and then asked if he could do it. I pulled my dick out again, rock hard, and he took me in his mouth.

During the early years of our marriage, my wife was not big on giving head and to have anyone sucking on my cock felt so good. The fact that I was doing this with a guy was a culmination of fantasies and desire that I had been putting off since probably the age of 12 or 13. In the end, we traded places three or four times, but between the nerves, beer and inexperience, neither of us were able to make the other cum.

Of course, in real time, it had only been about 15 minutes or so, and when we heard something outside the shed, it was my wife coming out to see what we were doing. We both separated, zipped-up and as she opened the door asking what we were doing, I quickly told her I was showing him our new lawn mower. She had a very suspicious look on her face when she responded with a doubtful, "Okay."

He and I did try a few things a few more times over the next several months but never with any success of cumming for either of us. Never enough time and always too nervous. He ended up moving (he was in the Army) and I haven't seen him in years.
And this is a picture of the first dick I ever sucked. Regular commenter Pancho was the guy and he has been treating me to a few great shots for my personal JO pleasure. He agreed to let me share with readers here. His dick still looks delicious 20 years later.

During one of our drunken attempts at bisexuality, Pancho tried to shove that big thing up my only slightly lubed hole. Let's just say that was another unsuccessful attempt. Someday, I'd love to try again.

Is it Low...

2011-06-07T05:42:00.003-05:00

Have you seen the commercial that is constantly bombarding the shows I watch on History Channel where they ask the question, "Is it Low T?" Of course, I have all the symptoms.

I have thought for some time that there were two direct causes for my lack of aggressive interest in sex with my wife. The first being the golden rule of 1,000. That is, if you have sex with a person 1,000 times, they could be the most smoking hot person around, but after that 1,000th time, you are no longer interested. I don't know how many times my wife and I have done the deed, but I know it has been at least 10 years since I was the one to initiate sex in the bedroom. Of course I have initiated it with her when were in public or with other people or doing something kinky. But regular marital lovemaking? I gave up on that years ago. I still oblige most the time when she requests.

As part of the rule of 1,000, I have to add the part about separating daytime bitchiness from nighttime sex. Perhaps this is a sign of Low T, but I find it hard to feel like my wife was all bitchy during the day and then have the urge to fuck her just because we are in bed. I suspect most men simply want to get laid and would be happy to have their wife complain about the latest complaint as long as the legs are spread. I have to admit, I often feel resentment at some of the things my wife says to me. I have accepted with experience that while she does mean to say the things she says, she doesn't mean for me to take them as harshly as I do. Maybe I have Low T and thin skin.

If you look at the links of blogs I visit (on the right side of the page) you will see that I have a wide interest in sexual types. I find myself attracted to both men and women, young (over 21) and old (I once fantasized about fucking my 65 year old neighbor). I enjoy people of all shapes and sizes. I am not put off by heavy women, and in fact, I would not hesitate to go down on a man just because he had a beer belly.

As we shop at stores, I am constantly checking out women. I have not eaten pussy in so long that when I see a certain body type on a woman, I imagine bending her over and licking her from behind. I stopped eating my wife after a medical issue years ago (nothing STD related) and just never had the urge to go back - sort of a mental thing, or perhaps this Low T they keep telling me to ask my doctor about.

I don't have a problem getting an erection when I am turned on. The problem is getting turned on. This is why much of the sex my wife and I have involves descriptions of others - other guys fucking her always leads to an erection. She is very open about the many propositions she gets from other guys, and I am very open to hearing the details. I always tell her to pursue these propositions, but she laughs it off. I would be cool with a surrogate lover for her, just so I wouldn't feel guilty about not wanting to fuck all the time.

The second possibility is that I am turning more and more gay with each day. Yes, I imagine sex with random women in the changing room at JC Penney, but how often do I shop there? I think about sucking dick - any dick, constantly. Perhaps it is because it has been so long or perhaps turning gay is one of the symptoms of Low T.

I have so many friends who would kill to trade places with me - a wife who wants sex all the time. Likewise, my wife knows many women who would trade places with her - for a husband who doesn't need to fuck every night. There has to be a happy medium I suppose.

Thoughts?

Yours and Mine

2011-05-26T05:52:00.002-05:00

So last night we jumped into bed and my wife reported that the freshly washed sheets on the bed meant, of course, she required me to perform. I did my usual rolling of the eyes as I tried to focus in on the 10PM news. She rolled over to her nightstand and grabbed a small plastic bottle and proceeded to pour some sort of lube on my still mostly soft wiener. I really could not feel any sensation but she was already giggling about the heat she could feel.

As I continued to half watch Sarah Lucero with one eye, my wife got nekkid and then grabbed a second bottle and poured a bunch of the stuff on her female area. "Wow! That's cold", she giggled.

So this KY Yours & Mine stuff is pretty freaky if you haven't tried it before. But honestly, do not put too much on the female side unless the female is going to be on the bottom. My wife had lubed up so much that when she climbed on top of me, it dripped down onto my balls, and that shit is cold!

Looking For Sandy...

2011-05-24T05:47:00.002-05:00

I've found that I tend to over analyze some things, looking for significance and meaning where there really is none and other times, I completely miss the boat on signals given. I wonder how many encounters I've missed out on where, if I had simply paid attention to the big flashing lights in my face, I would have gotten the hint. Likewise, how often have I spent days trying to break the code when in fact, a casual hello is nothing more than that.

A few examples:

After my wife and I had had our first series of MFM threesomes with a buddy of ours, he came over one evening with a new girlfriend. He and his wife had divorced (no, our MFM's were not related to the cause) and now he was showing off a new model. At one point in the evening, I went to the kitchen to grab something and his new friend followed me in. She was dressed for a night club with cleavage showing, heels and short skirt. Very attractive. She leaned into me and in a very whispered tone said she wanted to thank me for having her over. She then adjusted her cleavage to reveal just a little bit more than you would expect if you weren't in a night club. I recall two thoughts going through my head: 1. I hope my wife doesn't walk in, this might look awkward. 2. I wish this lady would leave so my wife and I could have a threesome with her date.

My buddy later told me that his date was completely game for a 4-some or a swap and she was trying to seduce me. Of course, my wife would never go for a swap or a MFMF or FFMM or MMFF or FFFM or you name any combination with more than her as the F involved, so even if I had picked up on the signal, it wouldn't have happened. But, at least I might have been able to get a free feel!

2. When I first learned about dial in Bulletin Board Systems (BBS) and though one met an older gentleman and his lady friend who had a shared interest in MFM's and such, I often would get advice from them on computer matters. More than once I tool my computer to them for help in fixing it. The man in this relation ship had the biggest penis I had ever seen on a person I personally knew. Honestly, it was huge. Anyway, one night I got a call from the lady, her name was Jo Ann, and she asked if she could borrow a computer disk I had because she was having problems. If I thought about it, it really made no sense - these people actually ran a computer business, so the idea that I had a program she needed, well, that was a clue.

When she arrived at the house after 9pm, the kids were already in bed and my wife had just gone to the bedroom. I answered the door and Jo Ann followed me to our computer room where I sat down in the chair and started looking through disks. She stood close to me wearing this really long dress like thing - it was almost a robe but made of blue jean material. She was a tall woman and I looked up at one point and realized that only the middle three buttons were buttoned. The bottom of the dress was unbuttoned to just below her waist, and the top buttons were undone to mid cleavage.

I handed her the disk and stood up started walking back toward the door. I realized later that I was probably a little rude in shooing her out the door, but my wife and I both had work and the kids had school the next day. Later, the man with the big dick would tell me that Jo Ann was totally nude underneath her dress, and she was hoping to show me her freshly shaved pussy.

I am that dense.

On the other hand, I have been obsessing over something that may be nothing, for a few days now. My naughty ex-neighbor and I had enjoyed numerous e-mail exchanges detailing lots of sordid acts we had both experienced in our lives. Then it just fizzled out. We both agreed at the beginning, it was too dangerous to chat on FaceBook where we are friends and she is friends with my wife. When it fizzled out, I thought perhaps that she lost interest or maybe she was too worried about my wife finding out, or heaven forbid, her husband found her e-mails.

Lo and behold, she (or I presume it to be her) left a comment on a recent post here. But an e-mail to her has gone unanswered and a few generic attempts at FaceBook messaging have gone without reply.

I simply have no idea, but it could very easily be explained by anything - poor timing, husband or son looking over her shoulder, forgot the password to her secret e-mail, any one of a million things. But like cleavage staring me in the face or a lady trying to show me her shaved nether regions, I have a history of not understanding the signals I am given.

The First View...

2011-05-20T05:52:00.002-05:00

From as early as I can recall I had always had little playmates on my street who would play show and tell (mostly show). I can just imagine the scandal it would be now, but back then (in the 1970's) there would be a group of five or six boys and girls playing and then somehow or another, the playing would lead to some bushes or some kid's shed where we would end up showing off our privates to one another. There was nothing sexual about this activity, but we all knew it would mean trouble if we were caught. Even though we moved several times during my youth (we were a military family) these games always seemed to find me. A new set of friends simply meant new and different genitals to explore.

I mention this only to point out that from an early age, I had seen the female form many, many times, so the differences in what us guys had and what the girls had was no real mystery. Likewise, not so much in a sexual way, I found the penis far more interesting to look at, simply because we were all at least slightly different in appearance. I always seemed to have an erection when we played these games; my recollection is that usually my friends did not.

So at about the time I really started to find interest in girls, I was in probably the sixth grade or so. I actually had a girlfriend in my class named JoAnn, but she lived far enough away that she had to ride a bus and therefore, our only contact was in class. Her best friend was named Peggy. I even remember her last name and what she looked like, though I only have the vaguest of memories of what the girlfriend looked like. Peggy lived close to the school and so it was not uncommon that I would see her on weekends or after school.

There was a group of us kids ranging in age from 5th to about the 8th grade who were hanging out at the base swimming pool one weekend when someone suggested we walk over to a nearby park and hang out. I don't recall that we were hidden from view, but instead we were just away from other people when someone suggested a game of truth or dare. I don't recall the boys to girls ratio, but Peggy had somehow joined our little group and there had to have been at least one more girl playing the game.

The details are somewhat sketchy but I do recall that at some point I was supposed to kiss Peggy but I pointed out that I had a girlfriend and kissing Peggy was not possible. So instead of kissing, the others had suggested that as an alternative, we had to show each other our privates. I gladly whipped out my fully erect dick and let everyone take a nice long gander. Aside from Peggy, the rest of the kids had surely seen my dick probably a hundred times, so it was just not a big deal for me.

Peggy was wearing a bikini and after seeing how I had just whipped out my dick, she giggled and lowered the front of her bikini bottoms to reveal a small bush of pubic hair. Regardless of age, I doubt any one of the guys in our group had ever seen a female with pubic hair outside the pages of a Playboy. The viewing lasted only seconds but the game we were playing was over. I don't think people did high-fives back when I was in the 6th grade, but everyone of us had felt like we hit the jackpot and there was much hooting and dancing around before we went back to the pool.

I never did get another view of Peggy and there was never any word about the game we played to her best friend and my girlfriend, JoAnn, but we often shared a knowing giggle while at school.

Telling...

2011-05-17T05:39:00.002-05:00

"I suspect this is the week I will simply come clean with "W". Is he as a gay man obligated to be my sounding board for sharing the secret? No, not at all."

No sense in dragging things out. "W" came to my office around mid-morning wanting to discuss a few projects we were working so we chatted for 10 or 15 minutes. During our discussion, I felt several times like I was losing focus - each time realizing that until I had just spilled the beans, I would not be able to think clearly. As he finished taking his notes on a short list of tasks, I asked him if he would reach over and shut the door to the office.

I am one of those people who beats around the bush, often looking for the right words to very delicately state something. More than once, I have started the conversation only to back off by simply diverting the topic somewhere else. I had a white board marker in my hand and scooted my chair toward the board as if preparing to write out, "Guess what? I'm gay", but the idea fizzled. I began by saying, "This s totally non-work related so if you don't want to talk about it, just say the word." The immediate look on his face was one of, "This guy is about to ask me if I'm gay".

As I stumbled and stammered trying to find the right words, I said, "You know how people talk and things are said in the work place..." The look on his face stayed the same. I don't even know what I was saying because I began to get that extremely nervous feeling almost to the point of shaking, but I talked about gossip and such. Finally, he just blurted out, "Yes, I'm the gay one." He seemed ready to give me some canned speech that openly gay people have had to give straight co-workers and employers to justify their existence over the years. I simply blurted out, "You're not the only one."

I held up my ring finger and said, yes, I'm happily married but I'm Bi. My wife knows. We just deal with it. That led to some interesting discussions about how people in say their 50's and 60's just suppressed it, stayed closeted and lived married lives while the younger generation gay folks are so open and expressive about being gay. He said he is stuck in the middle (he is roughly 13 years younger than I am) where people in his age group are sort of caught in between starting in the closet, finally coming out and in his case, after some point in time, just living and not making an issue of it.

The sense of relief was immediate. Of course, there was no dick sucking or anything like that, but then again, I didn't expect that, at least right away...

Three Years, Continued...

2011-05-16T06:00:00.000-05:00

"I have been toying with telling a few different people I work with. Honestly, the truth is, I have been hoping that by telling, they would allow me to suck their dicks. I guess it doesn't really work that way in real life."

I have written this post in my mind numerous times and even made a few attempts at posting on the topic before, but some how I just can't seem to get the words out right. I could say the same for my efforts to come clean with a colleague of mine, "W" (no relation to the former president).

"W" has worked in my office for almost a year, but we did not begin working closely together until several months ago. If we had to do a line-up of people and I was forced to guess who was gay and who wasn't, he surely would have been one of the "probably is" choices. He is in his early 30's, an engineer, and reminds me of Felix Unger from The Odd Couple. Very fastidious, thin and he always seems so serious. He wears these brown shoes that make me think they may have been his father's. He will come into my office and I'll see those shoes and immediately think of the opening scenes of My Three Son's, you know, with the tapping shoes.

It came out several weeks ago when "W" had to suddenly leave work to go investigate a "Peeping Tom" who had been spying on his room mate, that a) his room mate was male, and b) his room mate was more than just a room mate. So perhaps my gaydar is working...

In a perfect world I would call "W" into my office, tell him that I am Bi, he would then whip out his penis and I would suck it. We could then move on, do our work and each time he needed relief or I needed a fix, we would repeat the whipping out of penis and sucking part.

I think this is the problem many closeted gay and bi men have. There is this feeling that if you can just find a person you can share your secret with, it will automatically result in sex. It matters not that people could be married or in relationships, or that they may not be into random sexual encounters, or heaven forbid, that they simply may not be into you. There is this going in attitude that all you need is a person who is also gay, and the rest of it will take care of itself. I suppose if you read Craig's List, maybe that is true. But in the real world, just because a man likes breasts and he sees a woman with breasts, and she enjoys men fondling her breasts, there is no automatic guarantee that she will want that man to fondle her breasts, especially in the middle of the office. As heterosexual men, we learn this at an early age. We understand that you can't simply fuck any (or every) heterosexual woman you encounter.

But I have for a long time just thought that there must be so many men like me who would be accommodating, if only we found one another. Another married man perhaps, who in spite of being happily married craves the feel of another man. What if we could send our wives out shopping for a while, we could just kick back and suck each other! I'm sure there are relationships like that, but so far, nothing like that has found me.

So back to "W". I have been looking for ways to bring the topic up. "So, I hear you're gay." Just doesn't seem like a good start, especially in the work place. There have been several moments where I just had this urge to say, "Oh, by the way, I'm Bi" and just wait for the reaction. We were sitting in my office and he was looking over my shoulder as I worked on a PowerPoint slide. I had this urge to just type it in on the slide and quickly delete the words, but each time I started to, he made a suggestion on what to add to the slide. It just didn't happen.

I have often wished that there was a known two part symbol that gay people use to exchange bona fides. They say that Christians would draw a small ark on the ground and if the person they met drew an ark in the other direction to form the symbol of a fish, they would both know they were Christians. If the second person was not Christian and thus did not know to complete the fish, there was no cause for concern about the first guy being outed. I once asked Mr. Steed about these types of signals for gay people in public places, and he told me about men casually stroking the zipper of their jeans (in a non-masturbatory fashion of course) to give the clue. I constantly look for that sign but have never seen it.

I suspect this is the week I will simply come clean with "W". Is he as a gay man obligated to be my sounding board for sharing the secret? No, not at all. His response could be a very curt, "This is not appropriate in the work place" or it could be "You fucking homo, I'm going to tell everybody!" I have learned that he was married to a woman earlier in his life, then came out after realizing he was gay. I'd just like to hear his story and maybe share with him how I have dealt with this. And maybe then we can suck dicks.

------OOOOOO------

The naughty ex-neighbor left a comment on my last post. Made my entire morning!

Three Years...

2011-05-10T05:28:00.002-05:00

I had to go back and look at a string of old e-mails with a friend of mine to make an accurate calculation of the date. It has been over three years since the last time I had "contact" with another guy. It wasn't as if I was active in my bisexual sex-life on a grand scale in the first place, but once I had found the nerve to try, I just figured I would find a way for it to happen at least a few times a year.

There is always porn and the list of blogs I read almost daily to keep me going.

I also found that simply sharing with others is a huge release, mentally. There was a long series of e-mail messages between a "naughty neighbor" of mine where we basically confessed our deepest secrets to one another. There was probably little chance that we would ever meet up for for sex but the thrill of someone who knows my wife, knows my real life, reading all the details of our threesomes and of course, my encounters with others guys was such a huge emotional release for me. And of course, the details of her own naughty adventures, just knowing this was someone I knew in person and to read about her fucking co-workers and such; total turn on.

Over the past three years, I have "come-out" to several people. Gay people, anyway. Most recently, a young lesbian who is a friend of my daughter. During a weekend visit, I strayed from my normal sobriety and enjoyed several beers as my wife, daughter and several other guests played in the jacuzzi. The young lesbian and I spent some time philosophizing and she shared with me the trials and tribulations of being gay in the military. At some point during the conversation, I looked around to make sure we were completely alone and I said, "I will deny this conversation ever happened." Then I asked, "How is your Gaydar?" She looked at me for a few puzzled seconds and then nodded and said, "Okay. It's our secret." We went on to drink a few more beers and while I had an immediate sense of relief, like many ejaculations in my life, the relief was followed by remorse.

I don't have any real urgent need to live my life as an openly bisexual man. I don't require the legal rights that I believe regular gay people aren't afforded since, I'm already married and don't plan to change that. Coming completely out doesn't do anything for me and would serve to slightly complicate some things. Would I be disowned by my family? Not likely. My kids? Doubtful. My wife? She knows already.

I have been toying with telling a few different people I work with. Honestly, the truth is, I have been hoping that by telling, they would allow me to suck their dicks. I guess it doesn't really work that way in real life.

More details to follow.

Anyone ever share their secret with the wrong person and have it come back to bite you in the ass?

The First Royal Kiss...

2011-05-01T07:29:00.003-05:00

Not exactly what the crowd was expecting...

(I stole this from one of the other blogs I follow)

Hi, You May not Remember Me...

2011-04-20T06:09:00.003-05:00

I kept trying to come up with clever ways to approach this lady I had passed in the parking lot on the way into the office on more than a few times. It was obvious that she recognized me in a "I think I know you from 25 pounds and lots of gray hair ago" way. Here we are, both of us retired from the military and now working in the same place as civilians. Her face looks the same - she is attractive but like me, she has put on weight and is no longer 25. Things change.

We worked in different offices and in our different roles, I would see here a few times a week. Occasionally flirtatious, but mostly business. I recall mentioning to a co-worker of mine at the time how I really thought she was attractive and how I'd love to see her nekkid. You could apply this desire to most women, but it was worth mentioning to him. He surprised me by telling how he had dated her a few years earlier when he had just split from his wife and he started dating any of the young military girls that would give him the time of day. She apparently was impressed by his rank (she was an E-2, he was an E-5 at the time), and willing to go out. Naturally, I asked how it was and he was full of lurid details of their constant sex. As I recall, he used the terms athletic and flexible several times.

A few days later, the co-worker pulled me aside and told me he had something for me. We walked into an unused conference room and he produced a small envelope containing four or five Polaroid pictures showing the lady I fancied posing fully nude. "Of course I destroyed them," he assured her when their brief fling ended. I gawked at the photos and took in the visual of her only lightly trimmed bush and her perky 21 year old boobs. I can still see the tan lines on the giggle on her face all these years - at least twenty years - later.

So when she actually came in my office the other day looking to speak with one of my co-workers and I heard her name, it was confirmation that she was the same lady I had known from years ago. I so wanted to to approach her and quietly say, "Hi. You may not remember me but I have seen you nude."

But that might come off as creepy. So I think this one will stay our little secret.

The Pie... Yes, the Cream One...

2011-04-13T05:33:00.007-05:00

I have to admit I have been fixated on this picture for several days. In porn terms I think most agree this is called a Cream Pie.

There was one day, years and years ago when I was at work and had this strange feeling that something was happening behind my back. I followed my gut instinct and the result was that I left work, drove home, saw a friend's car parked on the street in front of our house. When I walked in the front door, I heard commotion in the master bedroom, then from my wife, "Oh my God, I can't believe this!"

She came running out into the hall as if to head me off - to try to buy time for some sort of escape by our friend. What was he going to do, climb out the window? The fact that her dress was draped around her waist and she was trying to pull her arms through the sleeves certainly shouldn't raise my suspicions, should it? I think about it now and laugh.

When I walked into the room, my buddy stood there with his military BDU shirt already on and was reaching for his BDU pants that were hanging on the handle of the exercise bike. He just looked at me and said, "Let me explain."

What's to explain? The three of us had engaged in MFM threesomes for quite a while at that point. This guy was cheating on his wife and my wife and I were accomplices. What would make me think that my wife and my friend wouldn't share an afternoon fuck while I was at work?

I turned around and walked out. I went back to work and sat in a daze through a meeting. My mind could not stop imagining what it could have been like if the scenario had ended differently.

Surely I'm not the only one.

Public Boner......

2011-04-11T06:02:00.003-05:00

I had a routine appointment with a doctor who has set up shop in a new medical plaza last week. Turns out she is the first doctor in the entire building. I knew this because I overheard the receptionist giving directions to a new patient. When I left the office, I was walking down the hall to the elevator and I noticed a set of restrooms. This was on the third floor of the building. I thought to myself that if the doctor I visited was the only one in the entire building, that must mean that the restrooms on the second and first floor must get little use.

I punched 2 on the elevator and casually got out at the empty second floor. The place was fully fitted out, lights on etc., it was just that no new offices had opened. I walked down the main hallway and opened the men's room door to find a sparkling brand new, probably never been used restroom.

My aversion to men's room sex has always been the cleanliness factor first, then the issue of being caught. Here I was now in a new, clean spacious bathroom, a single-holer in fact with a lock on the door. Now all I needed was a willing partner! Unfortunately, I was all alone. Too bad no naughty housewife or bi husband was around to share in my good find. I might have settled for a sweaty gardener taking a break from the Texas heat!

I pulled out my dick from my slacks and stroked myself as a stared in the mirror. It was very exciting but of course, I then began to wonder if security cameras might have been present in the hallways. What if a security guard noticed me exit the elevator onto the empty second floor. I continued to stroke but my concern for a potential knock at the door took away any chance of continuing.

Still fully erect, I loaded my dick into my pants, washed my hands and made a quick exit toward the elevator. As the doors opened to the first floor, I wondered what another patient might think if they walked in and saw my slacks at full attention. This turned me on more and I decided I would make no effort to conceal myself. Of course, nobody walked by me on my way back to the parking lot. As I walked along the sidewalk, I took several admiring glances in the mirrored windows of the new medical building and could see the bulge in my pants.

I stayed fully erect for the short drive to a nearby BBQ place where I stopped to grab an iced tea for my ride home. I exited my truck and walked past a row of parked cars, my dick still nearly at full mast. The vehicle parked directly in front of the entrance was running and a lady was sitting in the passenger seat chatting on her cell phone. As I opened the door, I caught her glance and I could see her mouth the words into the phone, "Oh my God." I really have no idea if it was my imagination at work or if she actually was responding to the side view of my slacks but suddenly it occurred to me that I needed to make myself presentable before getting to the counter to order. The last thing I want or need is to walk up to a counter with a young teenage girl taking my order while I have a massive boner. And with that, like magic, my erection subsided enough for engaging the public.

------OOOOOO------

I can't imagine that I would actually ever meet up with someone - a man or a woman - for sex in some public restroom, but I have to admit, I keep finding myself attracted to the idea of it.

Special Codes - Light Blue Hanky, Please...

2011-03-10T06:02:00.003-06:00

I have often wondered about special signals I might give or perhaps look for among the people I encounter that would indicate an interest in any of the interests I have in sex. You know, if say I were talking to a co-worker and he casually dropped to his knees and opened his mouth and began unzipping my slacks, that might prompt my useless Gaydar to the fact that he was interested. In the real world though, we need something with less flashing lights that will not cause a stir, but allow people in the know to recognize the hint.

For years, probably ten years or more, I have read various forums about the "Hot Wife" lifestyle. For those that don't know, these are wives who have sex with other men and the husband is totally cool with it. And yes, I've been one of those husbands who was cool with it. Anyway, in these forums, there is often discussion of the ankle bracelet that when worn on the left ankle (or is it the right?) is supposed to signify that a married lady is a Hot Wife. Of course, in reality, I'm pretty sure that whole ankle bracelet was in style (perhaps it still is) and everyone from pre-teens to great-grandmothers were potentially on the prowl for a lover as an eager husband (or great-great grandfather) waited at home eager for some visual stimuli. Really, just because a few people think of something as a signal, it doesn't stop the rest of society from inadvertently misusing it.

Anyway, I just read this about the handkerchief code: Light blue - Oral sex Wearing it in the left back pocket or on the left side indicates willingness to receive oral sex. Wearing it in the right back pocket or on the right side indicates desire to perform oral sex.

Needless to say I'm now going to have to run out and buy a bunch of light blue handkerchiefs because I'm going to need one for both pockets! For those of us who like to have our dicks sucked by guys but are also eager to return the favor, perhaps we could just wear a light blue tie everyday. Not distinctive enough? Perhaps a light blue bib. That would also be helpful for clean-up afterwards.

Thoughts on codes? Do you have a favorite for alerting someone you think might be interested? Are you reconsidering that ankle bracelet you just purchased your mom?

Vibe...

2011-03-09T06:02:00.004-06:00

The 10PM news droned on as I finished brushing my teeth and slipped into bed exhausted. My wife rolled over for the usual goodnight kiss but when I looked at her, she had that grin on her face that she gives me when I'm expected to perform or there will be no sleep. I used to fight it. You know, for all the middle aged guys on the Internet - hell for all the married guys on the Internet who would kill to have a wife who would be willing to have sex even once a week, I should be embarrassed to admit that my wife's sex drive is at least quadruple that of mine. It has been for as long as we have been married. She has been able to survive on a once or twice a week, and surely, someone like me who is apparently addicted to reading naughty blogs and looking at pictures of nekkid people can put out for that.

As soon as she saw that I was not resisting her advances, she rolled back to her side of the bed and pulled out the smaller vibrator. This is one of those standard plastic jobs, often marketed as a "facial massager". Just the sight of it gives me an erection. She has been thinking about this moment all day long and within a minute or two of turning on the vibe and placing it at the base of my dick, she is mounting herself on top of me, easily sliding down onto my dick causing the vibe to smash between our two bodies. It won't take long at all.

Another fantastic attribute my wife has is her ability to orgasm quickly. If there is any man insecure about his ability to satisfy a woman, I'd be happy to offer him some self esteem - it would only take a few minutes with my wife; I'd just like to watch! I'm not so sure what was on her mind but before the weather guy on TV could even spit out the forecast, she was cumming so hard her arms began to tremble as she pushed into my chest. As she shifted slightly, the vibrator slipped from between our bodies and slid down my ass cheeks to where she knows I love it.

Knowing me so well, she pulled herself from on top of me and rolled over onto her stomach. As I moved to mount her from behind, I took the vibe and inserted all 6 inches easily into my hole. No telling what she is thinking of as I pound her in and out, but I am imagining one of our friends fucking me in the ass as I fuck my wife. I simply love the idea. Within seconds, I am shooting my load into my wife and she lets out another sigh and then a giggle. "I love how that vibrator makes your dick tremble", she says into the pillow. I let the small thing continue to pulse in me for another 2o seconds or so, then reach back and pull it out as I roll back over to my side of the bed.

"I feel much better" she says, "but we need to do something kinky in this house. We haven't done anything since moving here". I can think of a few things...

Names...

2011-03-06T06:36:00.006-06:00

It bothers me just a little that I can't recall the name of the girl who took my virginity. I can recall the details of the encounter with great vividness and I fully know when, where and how it all happened; I just can't remember her name to save my life. Perhaps if I was one who has spent a lifetime fucking hundreds or even dozens of different women, even then you would think that I could still recall the name of my first, right? Truth is, I can't recall the name of the second one, the fourth and the sixth. The third is etched in my mind forever - I still think about her often - and I have a first name for the fifth, Laura. After that, the remaining ones, only a handful more in total, I can recall. Most of it was very forgettable, so I guess the names don't matter.

I often wonder how I might be remembered as the topic of discussion when some of these women describe the encounter or encounters we shared. Would the first one, an older woman of 19 knowing that she was taking my 15 year old virginity, recall how important it was to me to divulge to her that I was not in love with her before I was willing to begin the act? I still laugh at myself for that one. Would she have taken offense that after however long it was - perhaps twenty minutes - I simply decided that I was finished even though I had not filled the condom she provided me for use? Yes, she seemed pretty satisfied with the entire arrangement (totally soaked as I recall) but since she never told me when she was finished, and I was extremely eager to go report to my friends that I was no longer a virgin, I simply decided I had done my part, thanked her, and slipped out her bedroom window (with my condom to use later as evidence). She probably can't recall my name either.

There was another girl (number 2), the sister of my neighbor's girlfriend who I had somehow hooked up with. She allowed me to go pick her up, take her back to my house in the middle of the day while my parents were at work, fuck her for all of two or three minutes and then take her back home. And we did this several times! I know, women appreciate efficiency but I really hope she can't recall my name either.

It isn't that I am suddenly wreaked with guilt that I have a terrible memory when it comes to names or that I somehow need to connect with these ladies and catch up on old times, I just find it a little weird that I could participate in such intimate experiences and not recall something so simple.

Do you know the name of everyone you have been with? Do tell.

Picture Time

2011-03-01T21:35:00.004-06:00

I'm sitting in a hotel room watching TV and casually surfing porn... I thought I might share a photo...

Sorry, I don't have a measuring tape with me.

Now That's Humiliating...

2011-03-01T21:07:00.002-06:00

I know that each person has their own set of kinks - grown men wearing diapers on Jerry Springer pretty much made that clear for me - and I suspect that the things I find entertaining in a sexual sense would not be everyones cup of tea. As I surf from web page to web page looking at new and interesting ways of displaying the human body, I can't help but run across these photos of me in humiliating situations.

There is this plastic chastity device, the CB3000 or something that is popular with men who wish to be restrained as their wives fuck other men. That would not be for me, I assure you. I enjoy reading about the hotwife and cuckold lifestyles and obviously, many of the men who enjoy that love the idea of being forced to endure another man fucking their wife while they have to abstain. Again, I'd just as soon join in, thanks, rather than be forced to have my dick tied into submission. I guess I don't see encouraging a wife to indulge in another partner as something that should reduce your own sexual relief; it should enhance it.

But I have found something that might be considered "humiliation" to be a turn on. There was the time during the foreplay of one of our threesomes. My wife whipped out a sewing tape in order to measure the length of the dick of our FB. He was 8 full inches of fun. Not 8 Internet inches, but 8 inches from the base of his cock to the circumcised tip. I was so turned on watching my wife carefully measuring the dick of the guy she was about to fuck. Of course, I knew I had to be measured as well. I used to routinely report 6 and a half inches of manhood. But the tape does not lie. I strained to get beyond 5 and 3/4. Maybe I was shy that day. I recall the mood being more playful than humiliating, but obviously, it was a turn on to know that my wife was about to fuck a guy with a bigger dick.

Later, I had fantasies about my friend and I being alone. He would be seated on a couch or a chair with me going down on him. As I blew him, I fantasized about him telling me how he fucked my wife with his big dick. I often thought about what kind of details he could describe to me that might be humiliating in nature - how she may have squealed with joy at the size of his cock or how she may have begged him to reach places or do things I could not.

Perhaps the next time I see him, I'll suggest it...

Attitudes Change...

2011-02-28T20:00:00.002-06:00

I have been reading Youth in Revolt, the diary of a teen and his life in search of his first encounter. It is pretty funny so far. I've seen the movie but the book is far more entertaining. I found it interesting that the writer describes some of the conversations between the main character and his best friend, primarily the fact that they engage in masturbation in front of one another. At one point in the book, and it is very funny how it happens, the two engage in oral sex with one another, just so they can understand what their girlfriends will be going through. This leads to the mother walking in on them and assuming they are gay. Hilarity ensues.

It all made me think back to junior high and high school. I'm in my late 40's and back in my school years, "jacking-off" was considered something that only "faggots" did. I remember constantly thinking each time I would hear that, the guys who said such nonsense were probably habitual jack-offs themselves. When I finally made the connection between rubbing my dick, the good sensation and finally the even better sensation when I exploded, I was hooked. Gay or not, I was jacking-off daily.

It was not uncommon for my friends and I to show our dicks to one another. It was never sexual as much as it was the dare of being naughty. At about the time I figured out jacking-off, it was also about the time that whenever the dicks would come out, I always had a hard-on. I recall wanting my friends to get their dicks hard too. I probably had no idea that I was turned on by seeing the other dicks, mostly because I was also obsessed with the idea of getting some female action. Who knows.

At one point, I confided in my best friend that I had learned a new trick. First, in his bedroom, I showed him what happened when I jacked my dick and came. He freaked when I shot a load all over his bedroom wall. But he quickly learned to do that trick himself, and when we would hear other guys at school talking about people jacking off being gay, we gave each other a look of mutual solidarity in night revealing our secret.

The second thing I taught him was an introduction to the canister vacuum cleaner. I have no idea how I realized that my dick was the perfect size to fit into the tube of my mom's vacuum hose. Understand, this was not the size that you might find at a car wash vacuum, but a home size. I would also like to point out that the day I realized that my dick had grown too large to fit in the tube, it was somewhat bitter sweet. Who wouldn't want a bigger, thicker dick, but at what cost?

Anyway, I was addicted to that stupid vacuum. Everyday after school, I would stick my dick in the end of the hose, turn it on and in a minute or less, blow a load into the tube. Jesus! I wonder if my mother ever wondered why it was always sticky? So I showed this little trick to my friend and we went to his house. Understandably, he preferred to use his own vacuum rather than my well used and lubed canister. I was rock hard watching him place his semi erect dick into the end of the hose before flipping the switch. Unfortunately, because of his semi-flaccid state, and the fact that his mom apparently owned a heavier duty vacuum cleaner than my mom, the machine sucked his dick all the way to the balls and he was instantly wracked and bruised, immediately buckling over in pain screaming for me to turn it off!

I can laugh about it now but at the time, it was serious. I thought for sure we would have to call EMS and everybody would know that we were using the vacuum to mechanically fellate ourselves. In the end, my buddy decided he would survive without telling his mother about the injury and he stuck with regular hand-to-wiener massaging for further self pleasure.

My how times have changed though. Self pleasure is routinely a topic of discussion in movies and TV shows and I suspect there is no longer the stigma of being called names for doing what comes naturally.

More Exploring...

2011-02-23T05:53:00.002-06:00

Everything I know in my brain tells me that this is a bad idea but the urge continues. Perhaps it is the same feeling a shoplifter gets when they know they are being watched but they just have to have that necklace pack of gum. I could put together a list of pros and cons and in all honesty, I can't think of a single legitimate pro, though a long list of cons comes easily.

I am totally fascinated by images of public nudity. Pictures of a nude beach don't do it for me because it is expected that everyone there will be nude. I'm talking about the shots where a couple has pulled off on some back road and the wife is posing near the car with traffic in the distance, or perhaps a lady sitting on a bench in a park with her shirt undone to reveal boobs. The dare of it all is the thrill. The chance that they could be caught. I love the idea of driving down the road and looking into the car next to my truck and seeing something naughty. I yearn to see a guy jacking off while driving if only so I can make eye contact and lick my lips showing approval. It isn't as though there is an expectation that we would pull over and have sex, nor do I imagine if I saw a lady flashing boobs for her husband as he snapped a picture with his phone, that suddenly they would invite me for a threesome. It is just the thrill to see it.

Of course, I am not so daring. I have no intention of going to a mall, for instance and sitting on a bench with my dick hanging out. But I keep stopping by this highway rest stop on my way home from work to see what might happen. I read this account the other day posted by The Breeder, and in my wildest dreams I can't imagine being involved in something like that with so much at stake if I were caught.

I made the decision as I was walking out of my office. I could have easily stopped in the men's room and pee'd, but decided I would stop at the rest stop to do it. I had no expectation of what might happen, aside from the fact that I would pee.

When I pulled in, there was one 18-wheeler parked on one side, a van parked way down by the end of the road and a pick-up truck parked in front of the restrooms. I got out of my truck, walked into the Men's room slowly listening for any sounds. I could hear someone talking in Spanish so I stopped for a second or two. I then decided that I needed to pee and wouldn't wait. When I rounded the corner, the two urinals were empty and the talking was coming from one of the two stalls. WTF? Turns out, it was a guy sitting in the pot talking into his cell phone. Geeze.

So I stood at the urinal and pee'd. I half hoped that another person would come in and stand next to me, at least I could look down and spy a dick or perhaps it would be a guy interested in seeing mine. But I zipped up, washed my hands and left. This is usually how it happens, though more often than not, there isn't some guy sitting on the toilet talking on his phone!

I know that ultimately, if a guy stood next to me with an erection, I might smile or encourage him to jack-off. I just can't imagine myself in a public restroom open to anyone at any moment, doing anything more. It's a great fantasy though and it makes for a short stop on the drive home.

20 Seconds...

2011-02-13T07:48:00.002-06:00

I love that my wife has no problem reaching orgasm. She had been really worked up all day yesterday. When she eased herself down onto my dick last night, she was soaked. Honestly, twenty seconds later she was loudly cumming. I wonder if it had anything to do with me?

The Stripper...

2011-02-06T07:00:00.003-06:00

The very first day we met the people living in the villa next to ours, I knew that I had recognized the lady from somewhere. We were stationed at a small military base in Italy back in the 80's and Americans tended to gravitate toward areas with other Americans. The husband of this couple was a guy who worked in my unit, just about my age. His wife was a little older and she had a couple of sons from a previous marriage. The fact that they were Americans and and the fact that we shared a common wall between our villas made it a cinch that we would become friends.

Over the course of several bottles of cheap Italian house wine one afternoon, we grilled out on our beautiful patio and got to know the neighbors a little better. Cheryl was tall, taller than her husband anyway and probably in her early 30's. She had dark brown hair about shoulder length and wore large framed glasses. By magazine standards, she was probably 25 pounds overweight which is to say she was a fairly normal sized woman. She dressed very conservatively, though in the summer it was not uncommon to see her attractive legs or catch a glimpse of cleavage.

The boys ran around the yard playing while us adults sat around the table randomly talking about various subjects including where we were from back in Texas. When we started narrowing down to neighborhoods, it was clear that prior to Cheryl and her husband getting married, she lived not too far from where we lived. And when my wife brought up the name of the restaurant she managed, Cheryl became clearly nervous, saying she had switched jobs numerous times before getting married a second time and becoming a stay-at-home-mom.

And then she took off her glasses with one hand and pushed back her hair with the other. In that split second, I caught a glimpse of a stripper I had seen a few time before. I have never been one to spend money on overpriced beers and cover charge, but offer me free entry, a reasonably priced long neck and some slightly attractive entertainers, and I'll part with a fist full of dollar bills to help a single mom pay the bills.

When she put her glasses back on and looked at me, it was as if she could sense from the look on my face and the jaw near my chest that I was onto her little secret. As the conversation went on, discussions of stores and restaurants and hangouts and such gave me an opening to suggest that perhaps we had crossed paths before. As she clearly became uncomfortable with he direction of the conversation, she had no idea that I was not going to admit to having been to strip clubs numerous times in front of my wife.

At some point in the afternoon, there was a moment when Cheryl and I were alone at the table. My wife was putting up food and the Cheryl's younger husband was out playing with the boys in the yard. Feeling no pain from my overindulgence in wine, I stared at Cheryl and said "You worked at The Sidewinder." Her eyes immediately began to tear up and she said, "Please. He has no idea. I had to survive; my husband left me broke with two boys."

Any sexual fantasy that I had suddenly passed, and I quickly said, "I'll never mention it again." Just then my wife came walking back out on to the patio and Cheryl composed herself as though nothing had been said.

Over the next few years that we were neighbors, I never brought it up again though I did have more than a few fantasies about her.

The Fascination...

2011-02-01T14:01:00.003-06:00

I can't explain the fascination, the instant turn on when there is even a hint of my wife being unfaithful. Men have been known to kill, outraged that another man would dare look at their wives or that their wife would even consider in fantasy being with another. I get an erection.

The other night we soaked nude in our jacuzzi. There was no real expectation that things would turn sexual, but as soon as she mentioned another man's name, I started to perk up. It turns out that a guy she had a "friends with benefits" arrangement over a decade ago, found her on Facebook. Don't they all? She told me how he sent her private messages trying to catch up on life. He has been married for nine or ten years, has a kid, and oh by the way, would she like to get together to enjoy his huge dick? She laughed as she told me this, but in my mind, I was asking, "why don't you call him?"

This guy was by all accounts a loser. He could not keep a job and he seemed to do a lot of stupid things. But, he had a big dick - bigger than mine anyway. He was also willing to do something that admittedly, I'm just not into. My wife has a desire for rough sex. Not hitting or that sort of thing, but being pushed up against a wall and fucked hard. I'm happy to slap her ass and pull her hair; this guy would grab her and have his way with her.

When she reached under the water and felt that my dick was rock hard, she lifted her body out of the jacuzzi water exposing her tits to anyone that might happen to be spying on us (not very likely considering we have no neighbors) and then sat down on my dick. I knew it wouldn't be long. I pushed her forward and let her find a jet that would shoot warm water at her pussy as I took her from behind. All it took was several comments from her. "You know you want to watch him fuck me." "You know you would lick his cum from my used pussy." "You love it when I fuck other guys." That was about it.

As I eased my dick from her, she quietly got off using the jet from our jacuzzi as a toy. Best investment ever.

I can't explain why I am turned on at the thought of other men fucking my wife. This picture and caption asks the same question...

Cougar?

2011-01-12T05:39:00.002-06:00

Every once in a while I'll be going through my links of morning porn (see the links off to the right side) and I click through the pictures of mature women, I am reminded of a single incident that is burned into my memory. When I was probably 17 or 18, the girl I was dating had me over to the house one afternoon. I got along great with her parents and especially the mother who would catch me alone as often as she could to tell me what a wonderful young man she thought I was. She had to know I was banging her daughter six ways from Sunday. I really liked the mother and in fact, stayed in contact with her via letters for several years after the relationship with the daughter ended.

During this one visit, the girlfriend and I were down in the family room watching TV or something when I offered to go up to the kitchen and grab some Cokes (southern speak for any type of soda). When I walked into the kitchen, the mother was on her hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor. This by itself seemed really weird to me just because I had no idea people really did scrub floors like that. My mom used a mop.

At any rate, I stopped in my tracks and could not help but stare at the mother's fine ass and the fact that the way she was positioned, her pussy was clearly exposed through the loose fitting cut-off shorts. To be clear, it wasn't that the shorts were loose and if one had a flashlight or something they could search out and maybe see a glimpse of pubic hair (blonde with a hint of red), I'm talking pussy-lips fully visible and exposed because the leg of one side of the very short shorts was hiked up causing the pussy to hang out. And, no panties at all. WTF? A 39 year old mom with no panties? To a 17 year old, this was unfathomable!

I can remember the look on her face as she turned her head around to look up at me and smile. I'll never know if she had any idea at all that I was staring at her pussy and would remember the view 30 years later. Of course, I never mentioned it to the daughter, though I did go down on her in her family room as the mother cleaned upstairs. Naughty.

Letting it Fly - Outdoors...

2011-01-07T05:26:00.002-06:00

I've had this urge since moving into our new home to roam nude around the property. There really is so little traffic and we have no visible neighbors, that honestly, we could wander around in the nude and only hide from view when we heard a car coming. I don't have a desire to be a naturist, but I do get a thrill from being exposed outdoors.

The other morning before work, I had just finished checking me e-mail, looking at a few sex blogs and generally feeling horny. My wife was still sound asleep in bed and the dog needed to go out. I slipped on some shoes and walked out back with the dog and my cup of coffee. It was still dark and the only light came from our house and a street light in front of the house.

As the dog was off somewhere doing her thing, I just pulled my sleep pants down below my ass and as I held the coffee mug in one hand, I stroked my dick with the other. In spite of the fact that there was zero percent of anyone seeing me, it was a thrill just standing there in the middle of my yard openly jacking off.

In a minute or so, I exploded sending several strings of jiz out onto the dirt and leaves below.

Butterflies...

2011-01-04T05:47:00.002-06:00

The entire process of confessing my bisexuality to people is such a huge turn-on. It is no different to me than those initial feelings you get at the beginning of a new relationship. There is the whole butterflies in the stomach feeling as you make those initial advances toward a person you like.

If you are like me, there is the fear that the other person may not be interested in you, so you won't just simply blurt out your feelings. How awkward would it be to tell a pretty lady you like her and have her shoot your advances down in flames? It is that same nervousness when I feel the urge to tell a friend that in addition to being happily married, I like to suck dicks. What if they were to freak out?

Actually, I am less worried about someone freaking-out over me being bi than I am that person freaking-out, then telling everybody I know. It isn't like you go down a list of friends and one by one start telling them about your sexuality. You may not know everyone you can tell, but you have a really good idea about those you can't.

I recall the initial e-mail exchanges I had with the neighbor where we both put out enough clues to each other that it was safe for each of us to confess our sexual sins. She confessed her multiple indiscretions in the workplace - and behind her husbands back, and I shared my desire for dick and my thrill of knowing that my wife fucks other men. As our e-mails and later chat sessions got hotter and hotter, it was the thrill of sharing this intimate detail with a known person - someone I had met in person. This is the thrill I seek now as I consider whether or not to confess to a co-worker who I am convinced is gay or bi anyway. I often wonder if he looks at me and wonders when I am going to finally tell him. Or I wonder if he is debating with himself whether or not he should confess to me.

Butterflies.

Breaking In my New Office...

2011-01-01T06:53:00.003-06:00

As part of my new job I grabbed all my pens and notebooks, paper clips, stapler and even the Scotch tape dispenser and moved from a cubicle shared with a co-worker into an office across the hall. I have several colleagues that also have individual offices and it is not uncommon for them to shut the door so they can work in private. I have shied away from this practice, mostly because I like to see who is walking by, but also because I don;t want to give anyone the impression that I'm just in there looking at Google all day long with the door shut.

The down side of this whole not shutting the door thing is, if I did ever shut the door, it might raise eyebrows. Wow, that guy never shuts his door, why is it shut now? What is he doing in there?

Over the holiday period, more than half the people in the office were gone for two full weeks. But in a new job with very little personal days to take, I stayed and worked. When it is slow, the mind wanders. It occurred to me that I had not properly christened my new office in the way I have in most every place I have worked, by jacking off.

I walked around the empty halls peeking into empty cubicles and made my way into our break area to refill my coffee cup. In five minutes of walking around, I saw one guy busily writing code while listening to something on headphones. I heard a laugh come from another office, some guy talking on the phone. That was about it. The place was really empty and I tempted my self by fondling my dick through my pants pocket. The public erection is a fine thing. If somebody walks past you in the hall, do they look at you pants and see the outline of your boner and say something?

Back in my office, I left the door wide open and sat behind my desk. At first, I searched for Google images on anything that could get through the filters that might be spank-worthy. In all honesty, that usually boils down to news women. It would be cheating to go straight to FoxNews where (excluding Greta) all women hired are required to be excellent visual material for the discerning News Junky who watches in his underwear. Instead, I went to my local CBS affiliates web site to reveal the new morning traffic lady. Her name is Natalie Tejeda and I don't know what it is about her, but she does something for me. I imagine her wearing a strap-on. Unfortunately, if there were any really good pictures of her, they were filtered by the Spank-Filters at work.

The first few times I unzipped my pants to pull my dick and balls from my slacks, it was purely for logistical purposes. I was preparing myself for how I would appear normal to a person walking by or heaven forbid, walking into my office. My desk faces the door so I can see when someone walks in and my crotch area is basically out of view, but even still, you can never be too sure.

There is a thrill of having my junk exposed and with each test run - taking my dick out of my pants for a few strokes - the excitement grows. With a full erection just beneath my slacks, I walked out of my office to make one final look around the general office area before deciding I couldn't take it any longer. Back to the desk, no need for Natalie any longer, this is all about the thrill of unloading at work.

I reached for a paper towel that I had sitting nearby, left over from my breakfast, and placed it on my thigh. My dick was so hard and extremely sensitive. With my dick fully exposed, I rolled my chair over and reached for the wastebasket and rolled back to place it under my desk. It could not have been even a dozen strokes before I felt the first burst escape onto the carpet beneath my desk. I quickly took the paper towel and held it in place and slowly stroked a huge load of cum into it. The feeling was incredible, the thrill mostly.

My load was probably a bit much for the paper towel and I simply dropped it into the wastebasket below. I shoved my dick back into my pants, zipped and tried to calm down. It wasn't 20 seconds later that I heard someone in the hall and a guy leaned in my office to ask how much longer I was staying.

Timing is everything in this business.

Lunch

2010-12-01T05:52:00.003-06:00

I posted this account some time ago and removed it. I recently shared it with my naughty neighbor friend and thought I would re-post.

------OOOOOO------

It was my turn to drive so my plan all morning had been to pick my friend up and when he opened the door, he would see me sitting there with my dick at attention, exposed for his view. I had thought to even throw an old t-shirt in the van just in case we needed clean-up action. But, as I drove through the parking lot, I was just too nervous to get hard.

We drove to lunch, had some Mexican food and never brought up any of the "homo" stuff. As we were walking out of the restaurant, I lightly said, "Well, we can get in the van and play with our wieners." and he just laughed.

I should provide a little background. My friend and I have known one another for years - we had worked together before and we also had several mutual friends. One of his closest friends had enjoyed the company of my wife and I years earlier when we "played". He knew many details of these MFM encounters and over the years, I had enjoyed telling him details. I probably enjoyed it more than he did. Of course, it was a two way street. He had shared intimate stories of his encounters that included him and his wife or old grilfriends, sometimes others.

In recent months, I had gotten the nerve to share a detail of my encounters that I had left out before - that I had sometimes engaged in various MM play during the threesomes with my wife and our mutual friend. After all these years, it was a relief to know that he was not completely disgusted with my confession. I didn't need acceptance so much as just being able to be up front about it. As a way of showing he was okay with it, he confided that he had almost had an encounter years earlier, and always wished he had gone through with it.

These revelations led to me sharing with him several stories of my encounters and my enjoyment in masturbation during driving. I would learn later that he had also relieved himself on long drives more than once. So with this all in the open, I felt like he might enjoy a little stroke time during our drive after lunch.

Once in the van he said, he wasn't hard, so there would be nothing to play with, but since the topic had been brought up again, I started quizzing him about his almost encounter. He answered one or two questions and suddenly, I noticed him shifting in his seat. That did the trick and the next thing I know he says, "Well, if we were to play with our wieners, where would we do it?"

With that, I changed lanes and turned away from work. We drove through an older neighborhood, but nothing looked like a good place to stop. I pulled my dick out of my pants and he said, "Just like that? - you aren't worried?" and I told him that unless we were driving by a big truck or a tall building, no one would notice. Then he asked if I had napkins or something. I pulled the old t-shirt from the back of the seat and handed it to him. He just laughed.

I have seen his dick many times before - we used to shower together at the gym years ago. But I had never seen him hard. At first it looked very thick, but not long or any longer than mine anyway. His balls were shaved, and nice. I understood that he was not looking for an encounter with me but I was open for anything he was willing to try.

I could tell he was very nervous though. And that made me nervous.

I asked him if I could touch his dick and he said no - he laughed and said he didn't want me to wreck. But then, when I stopped at a stop sign, he said to go ahead. It felt good but I would have preferred to have not been in the vehicle.

As I drove, he continued to stroke and I would watch when I could. Finally we found a place to stop away from houses and where we could see traffic in either direction. I put on my flashers as though we might be making a call or something.

I wanted to suck him so bad but again, he was too nervous. I stroked him again for a minute but I was feeling really uncomfortable about the place. Then I asked him if I could go down on him. He said it would look pretty obvious if someone drove by, but I think it was the nerves or perhaps, he just isn't ready for that. It is a big step going from imagining an encounter with another guy to actually participating in it. I had been there and I didn't want to press.

Then, he began to stroke pretty fast and started to move the shirt in place. I stroked myself as I watched him make himself cum. His cum was white and thick and I wanted to taste it so bad. I thought about reaching over and taking some with my finger and tasting it just to see his reaction, but he used the shirt to wipe it clean. It was best that I didn't push any more.

I could see that sudden twinge of guilt coming over him and I put my dick back in my pants and turned off the flashers. He asked me if I was going to finish and I told him I was just too nervous, which was the truth.

We made our way out of the neighborhood and I told him that it wasn't a good place. I asked him if he'd like to touch my dick just to say he had done it, but he said, "maybe another time."

We were only a minute from work and by the time I dropped him off, I could hardly wait to get a hold of the shirt he had left his jizz in. I got to the parking lot in front of my building and I found the spot on the shirt where he came. It was already clear, but still damp. I placed my finger on it and took a taste. Yep, tastes like cum. I then sniffed the shirt several times - I can't explain my fascination with that almost bleachy smell, but it was intoxicating knowing I was inhaling my friends cum. I then had to compose myself before going back into the office. I thought of heading straight to the men's room and jacking, but by the time I got in, I chose not to.

After work, I got in the van and immediately found the t-shirt, now almost crusty from drying in the heat, yet the scent was still there. I was immediately hard again and knew I wouldn't make it home without relieving myself. I smelled the shirt and his stain at least five more times before finally pulling my dick out and stroking myself into the same shirt that he had used hours earlier.

I had an empty plastic bag in the van and I placed the shirt in it and continued to drive. I then started to feel awkward about the whole thing - wondering if it wasn't nerves that made him not want to do more, but if it was just that he wasn't interested in me. I also felt pretty weird about smelling a shirt that had been used as a cum rag by a friend - guilt I felt after sniffing a sister-in-laws panties once when the opportunity presented itself. But I got over it.

I had to stop at Home Depot on the way home so I deposited the bag full of DNA into a trash can there. I couldn't help but imagine some unsuspecting guy looking through the trash for a rag to use.

Flash

2010-11-30T15:24:00.003-06:00

I am fascinated by people who flash in public. I am a voyeur for sure but I have found great pleasure in sharing glimpses of my own private parts with others when I find it safe to do so. I cannot count the number of male and female co-workers who, over the years have seen my dick at work. The fact that none of these flashes have resulted in my subsequent arrest reflects that these have been willing observers.

One night, I may not have been as careful in selecting an audience for my display. A co-worker was leaving town for a new assignment and a group of guys, most all of us married, had convinced our wives to let us go get a hotel downtown and party. By having a hotel nearby the San Antonio River Walk, we would eliminate the risk of anyone getting drunk and driving home. For me, it was basically an opening to get totally blasted. My biggest concern for myself that night was not to get so totally wasted that I confessed my bisexuality to all my military co-workers and offer to blow them all.

Several hours into hopping from one bar to the next along the river, we ended up in a three story night club, the name of which and theme has long since changed. As I continued to pound more beers than I should, I somehow found myself in the center of a group of ladies on a bachelorette party. They seemed to have a check list of things they needed the bride to accomplish. I was feeling no pain when the group of very nice looking ladies asked if I'd be willing to help them with a survey. "No problem at all ladies", I said (or at least I recall it that way). With a clipboard and pen in hand, the bachelorette asked me how long my penis was. I don't know if I was supposed to offer some funny response or an actual number in inches, but instead, I just reached down, unzipped my jeans and pulled out my dick and balls and showed them. "That long".

I do know that one or two of the girls giggled and screeched at how funny it was that I just whipped my dick out but there were several others that were simply horrified. One chick who clearly had not been laid in some time was all huffy and puffy and disgusted. In my drunken state, I tried to explain to the cranky lady that I wasn't good with math and it was easier to just show my dick rather than attempt to come up with a conversion to the metric system. This just pissed her off more.

Just about then, one or two of my buddies came through and grabbed me from the fracas and pulled me into another part of the bar where it seemed that another drunk co-worker was preparing to antagonize some gang-bangers. The fact that security smartly ejected our group while holding back the gang-bangers long enough for us to disappear to another bar was probably good luck for me since I suspect the huffy puffy maid of honor chick who had not been laid in a long time would have sought out police and had me arrested for public indecency.

I felt like crap the next day, but the story of me whipping out my dick at the nightclub got a lot of play at work for some time thereafter.

JD's Wife...

2010-11-19T05:48:00.003-06:00

The other day, my wife saw Mrs. JD and she asked her to meet for breakfast. Mrs. JD is the wife of one of our former threesome partners. While she worked different shifts as a nurse, her husband JD would come to our house for a few beers and fucking. While she had been to our home several times over the years, our little hijinks never took place. In other words, her husband was being unfaithful, and we were not close enough friends with her to tell on ourselves.

While the sex with JD hasn't happened for years - at least that I know of - we have remained friends with them. Any awkwardness that my wife had being around the guy she was fucking and his wife who simply adores her has faded. Naturally, I am always thinking that one day, JD will confess his sins to Mrs. JD and there will be a confrontation. So when my wife mentioned her breakfast date, I wondered if this was the day.

I am not the best person to ask about marriage and fidelity. I have never been an adulterer in the sense of having sex with random women behind my wife's back, but I have sucked a dick or two on the sly. My wife has cheated on me and quite frankly, when I think of the details, I don't get upset; I get a hard-on. I am totally turned on by the image of a wife, loving mother and model citizen having secret, discrete sexual encounters with the occasional man on the side. The image of the housewife who flirts with the produce guy at the grocery store, and if push came to shove would give him her phone number is a total turn on to me.

I do know that JD's wife is not a completely innocent spouse herself. JD told me of an affair she had early in their marriage. Later, a mutual friend of ours told me how he had been fucking her regularly, though JD was in on the action at least some of the time. So why wouldn't JD confess to her about the relief my wife (and I) provided him years ago as she toiled the hours away at work?

Around noon, I called my wife to ask her how breakfast went. She responded, "We're still eating." In fact, I would find out later that the breakfast date lasted almost 5 hours! She filled me in on all the boring details of how things had been going for JD and Mrs. JD. No discussions of past affairs, no questions about the time Mrs. JD was passed out drunk and JD fucked my wife in the living room just a few feet way. Nothing.

I guess I'm not sure what I would expect if Mrs. JD ever found out. Would she be hurt? Would she play it off due to the fact that her husband is a serial cheater? Perhaps she knows and has just chosen to never bring it up.

Who knows?

Rest Stop...

2010-11-16T05:52:00.002-06:00

I am in the process of buying a new home. Each time we have driven to the new place to look at it, we use a rest stop along the interstate as a land mark to identify our exit. It doesn't take much thought to figure out exactly what I am contemplating.

I have always been put off by the thought of trolling for dicks in a public restroom or at parks. From the aspect of approaching a stranger in a public place and whipping out my dick or dropping to my knees, it just has the term "10PM News" written all over it. I have engaged in sex in the outdoors and loved it but in each case, it was with my wife or a girlfriend or with a guy that I had arranged to meet. I guess it means that I am less worried about being arrested for having sex in public if I can at least say I know the person I'm getting arrested with.

The bathroom thing seems like it could be a safer bet. I have to admit, almost without exception when I go into any restroom in a restaurant, a gas station, a mall, etc.; I'm evaluating the logistics of how I could have sex there. More often than not, my "negative" rating of the restroom has to do with the lack of cleanliness, not the lack of privacy. I almost feel like I'd have to bring a mop and a bottle of Lysol before I could get an erection.

The rest stop presents a different issue. For one, I noticed that there seems to be an attendant at the rest stop. I see him mostly sitting out behind the rest stop smoking. I haven't been inside the restrooms in either the north or south bound sides of the rest stop, but if they are anything like other Texas rest stops I have been to, privacy is fairly minimal. I suspect that perhaps men stand at the urinal and wait for someone to look at their dick, maybe fondle it or something. Who knows? Once they have determined that there is a willing participant, maybe they go out to a vehicle or take a walk in the nearby woods. I just don't know these things.

I once thought about posting a question on our local Craig's List and just asking: "Is it safe to stand at the urinal while sporting an erection at the rest stop on I-35S just south of San Antonio?" Of course, I'd get responses from 6 or 7 under cover police officers and 3 TV reporters all saying, Yes, c'mon down!

I suppose one day on my way home from work, I'll pull in and just go take a piss. I can't see myself doing anything beyond taking a leak but it would be good to know the terrain.

Bang!

2010-11-10T05:52:00.001-06:00

I was passing between two buildings at work the other day and walked by a lady that I recognized from somewhere. We both gave one another that passing greeting, a smile and a nod where you both know that you have met the other person but can't quite recall names, dates or circumstances. Since I have worked in the same complex for most of my adult life, it only makes sense that I have seen most of the same people for years, whether I actually know them or not. This woman was in her mid 50's, a darker tone of black skin with a pretty face but a body that showed years of weight gain and loss and more of the same cycle gain.

It wasn't until I got back to my desk that I recalled just who the lady was. I worked for her briefly in the early 1990's. She was a single woman, a senior NCO who loved to party, constantly trying to find a good man to snag as a husband, but mostly looking in bars and clubs. She had me make a few phone calls once, pretending to be a lawyer so we could determine if a man she was seeing was really divorced like he said he was, or just playing her. We weren't close per se, but every so often our conversations drifted beyond the professional relationship you'd expect of our situation.

Anyway, one morning, she called a group of us guys together and told us she wanted us all to come to her house after work. She was giving away all of her liquor and all of her porn. I just remember being turned on by the fact that she was admitting to owning porn - and lots of it! Of course, everyone had questions but she was fairly upset and tight-lipped about the whole thing.

After work, just two of us followed her to her apartment, and when we walked in, she had a box loaded with probably 50 VHS tapes of porn featuring mostly black people, primarily straight, but there was even some group sex and lesbian porn. She had another box, the kind you get from the liquor store with bottles, just over half-full of whiskey, rum, vodka, the full gamut of liquor. There was also a handful of beers left in the refrigerator. Between the two of us guys, we split the loot, thanked our supervisor for her generosity and left.

I do remember being especially turned on by the fact that this lady had lesbian porn. Of course, I would never bring it up to her.

As you would expect, there were whispers and such - what had brought on the sudden sobriety and clean living. Within a week or two, our supervisor had gone from the older party gal to a born again Christian reading scripture at work and looking to be reassigned out of our office. I didn't want to pry but I felt like she might open up to me since she had semi-flirted with me from time to time and told me I wasn't like the other white guys.

One day before she moved to her new office, she and I had a conversation where she opened up and told me only the briefest of details. We were sitting in a small office with the door wide open, really anyone could have walked in or by but it was late in the day and people were on their way home. "I got banged" was how she put it. I just looked at her thinking she was meaning a guy had fucked her. I asked, "Assaulted?" As a tear made a rapid drop down one side of her face, she shook her head to indicate no. "I was in a gang bang." Before her eyes could let loose with a flood of tears, she took a tissue from the desk and wiped them away. It was like she was forcing herself to be stronger than the memory.

My mind raced. Ordinarily, I would have been so eager for the details but I knew this woman was in personal turmoil. She told me that she had partied Saturday night and when she woke up Sunday morning, she was in bed with a guy. She knew him - he was a guy she had been with before and this was not the first time she had woken up to find him in her bed without remembering the full details. That was not the shock that changed this woman's life.

After brushing her teeth, she walked to the kitchen to get a pot of coffee going and saw a guy she did not recognize passed out on the couch. He was nude. She actually laughed when she told me that she ran back to her room to grab a robe because she too was in the nude. In my mind, she had just confessed to a drunken threesome. Big deal. At the same time in my life, my wife and I were routinely having threesomes with another co-worker of mine. This was not the end of the world. I offered what I thought was a comforting, "Technically, I don't think that qualifies as a gang-bang."

Just then another co-worker poked his head in the door and said that I was needed in the office and that as the end of the conversation.

A few weeks later, my friend "L" who I have written about before, told me the rest of the story. As it turns out, there was a nude guy on her couch. But on the coffee table was her video camera. When she walked back into the room (now in her robe no doubt), she quietly picked up the camera and rewound the tape. It seems her heavy drinking caused her to black out the memory of a fun evening of fucking. Instead of two guys, there were four. Aside from the one she woke up in bed with and knew, the other three were complete strangers to her. This was no assault. The video, much of it filmed by her herself revealed that she had directed much of the action. Other times, someone else would grab the camera and record her being taken every which way from Sunday. This woman was no prude, and in fact, I think what got her attention was the fact that she got so drunk that she couldn't remember just how she got back to her apartment or how she met the other three men. According to "L", she was in constant fear that she would be in a grocery store or worse - at work, and one of these men would approach her.

Of course I was turned on by it all, but I could see how this could change someones life. "And the video tape?" I asked "L". She burned it in her fire place.

I wonder if when I passed this woman if she went back to her office and tried to recall who I was and how she knew me, or if she has simply blocked that part of her life.

Used...

2010-11-02T18:42:00.002-05:00

When I was probably about 19, maybe 20 years old and a young guy in the military, I have to admit that I was not much of a ladies man. I never dated in the way that some friends did; ask a girl to go out for dinner or to a night club on the chance that things would spark and there would be more dates, or things wouldn't and both people would move on to other dates. In my case, if I found a girl attractive and liked her personality, I was looking to make it an immediate relationship so the dating could begin. Needless to say, there were long stints between girlfriends and sex!

On occasion though, every squirrel gets a nut and a young lady I worked with who I found quite attractive decided to dance a few songs with me at the base NCO club. Her name was Shannon and she reminded me so much of Madonna who was at the beginning of her popularity. Of course, this lady was in the military as well, so she could only be so wild in her appearance. She had short hair, was very thin and had a cute smile, but I recall mostly that she seemed way too good for me. Yes, I had wonderful self-esteem, can you tell?

So as the evening progressed and it was suddenly becoming apparent that she wasn't simply being polite and allowing me to be seen with her for a few songs, but she was in fact willing to allow me to buy her several drinks and even sit at the same table as her! This was getting good. I'm sure I wasn't completely without skills, after all, she wasn't the first lady I had taken back to the dorms (though she was one of the few), but amazingly when I asked if she wanted to get out of there, she just looked at me and said "Sure, can we go back to your room?"

I wouldn't break the news to her that I had a room mate until we got to the building. For her, doing the deed in a dorm room while a room mate was present was a non-starter. I asked if we could go to her room which was located in the same building but on a different floor, and her response was that her room mate was there. I told her that I did not mind her friend being present but she just gave me a dirty look. Hey, I was serious.

In the end, I opted for an old stand-by, going to a vacant day room. For those not familiar with military dorms, they usually have a common area with sofas and TVs and maybe a few pool tables. Each floor usually had a day room so with 3 floors in our building and 3 floors in the next 3 buildings nearby, there was a safe bet we would find an empty one at midnight. Sure enough, we had a place to shut the door, turn off the lights and make out for a bit.

With the location set and a wiling participant, I was pretty damn happy that I was going to get laid for the first time in months. Shannon and I kissed briefly and I fondled her small tits through her thin shirt. She was wearing a mini skirt that was fashionable in the mid 1980's and I recall reaching for her panties a few times with her squirming to keep my hand away. I asked her if she wanted me to pull off my jeans and she encouraged me a little by saying, "Not yet." I felt really positive. I asked her if I could see her tits and she said I could play with them under her shirt. Like I say, pretty small.

I'm guessing we had been making out for under 10 minutes when she reached under her skirt and pulled her panties off. She set them next to her on the couch then took my shoulders and pushed me down, basically indicating that she needed some oral attention. I loved it. For the next who knows how long, maybe another 20 minutes (though I'm sure I bragged to my room mate later that it was an hour or more), I licked and nibbled and ate her until she came several times. Her neatly trimmed pussy was soaked with juice and and she squirmed to her own beat using my tongue, mustache and face as devices for her own masturbation session. It was dark and frankly, I could have been any guy in her mind. In my mind, I was making my new girlfriend cum on the couch in a public day room!

When she came one last time loud enough that I had to reach up and try to cover her mouth, she laid back on the couch and seemed to be exhausted. I began to unbuckle my belt in an effort to begin fucking my new favorite gal when she stopped me and asked if I had a condom. Not having one, I quickly offered to pull out and cum on her tits if she'd like. I know, how thoughtful.

Without the proper equipment, she was done for the night and as it would turn out, my efforts to get in her pants with my dick failed for good. A positive consolation was that she had bragged to a few mutual friends that she had her way with my face and I actually got solid ratings in the oral department, but she just didn't want to be my girlfriend. Turns out that rank really does have its privilege in the military and she was used to dating guys several pay grades above me.

Happy to serve.