Every so often I will purchase a quick-pick Lotto ticket and spend the next few days using it as a source of imaginative fantasy. I have no expectation of winning anything, and I know that I could just as easily throw a buck out the window of my truck as I drive by the convenience store, bu this little game works for me.
I start off with pressing financial issues. I'd of course pay off the house, the bills, and start going down the line of family members in need. My kids would be set for life, nieces and nephews would be given full college scholarships, and I'd surprise several charities like local animal rescues and soup kitchens with huge contributions. These are all easy parts, and each time I play this Lotto fantasy, I knock the essential feel good parts out of the way.
I always find myself going to the very last few pages of Texas Monthly and the real estate ads. For those of you who have never picked up Texas Monthly, they have a section of seriously high end properties. The cheap ones start in the very high six figures and only go up, rapidly. But if you won a bazillioln dollars, spending $9.2 million on a 600 acre ranch with a river running through it and a 6 bedroom, 8 bathroom, 9 car garage, house doesn't seem that expensive.
But then I begin to consider all the problems. The upkeep, the cost of utility bills, do I move the mother-in-law into the house or build her a little villa on the property? There are all sorts of issues that come with this fantasy. Luckily though, I check the numbers and I usually don't even win a dollar or two for my troubles. End of fantasy.
My sexual fantasies often work a similar way, though I don't have to buy the ticket. The idea plays itself out in my head for several days, I imagine all the possibilities and then it just goes back into some hidden area in my mind and we all move on. This week, I have had one of those weird things running through my mind, something I have no intention of pursuing, but none-the-less, something I want to share, in hopes of getting an opinion or two.
Let me first start by stating two things:
1. I have in fact sniffed the panties of an unsuspecting female (my sister-in-law).
2. I totally get why women would sell panties to guys over the Internet (though I would never buy them).
Anyway, I make a daily stop on my way home from work through the drive-thru of a local chain BBQ place for an iced tea refill. Most of the girls who work this place are attractive and frankly, there are a few stand-outs. One in particular is always nice to me and in the past, I have had this urge to give her fatherly advice such as, "You are so beautiful, don't settle for one of the guys who works here or lives in this neighborhood" but I realize just how creepy that would be from a total stranger.
When they grab my mug and my 50 cents, the girls turn away from the window and I get a nice view of their asses. I know, this too is creepy, but I am a man. For whatever reason, this idea came into my mind about how I would be willing to pay money if, in addition to my refill of iced tea, this girl handed me a bag that contained her just removed panties. Of course, my first thoughts were, what kind does she wear, but soon I felt tremendous guilt considering this chick is probably only 18 or 19. She has a father somewhere who just wants to shoot me in the dick for even imagining his daughter and her tiny little silk panties.
On my drive home (several days in a row) I imagine all these approaches. What if I posted an ad on Craig's List. I don't want just any panties - there are one or two ladies working at this place who are definitely wearing Granny panties - I want this girl's panties. The ad would have to be specific. If your name is Kimmy, and you work at the restaurant located on Old Pearsall Road, please contact me so we can arrange for me to walk into the store during your break, whereby you will go into the ladies room, rub one out with your panties on, then slip them into a bag and hand them to me in exchange for a crisp $20 bill.
Wait a second. What is the going rate for freshly masturbated in panties? I mean, this wouldn't require postage or Fed-Ex rates. Granted, unless she was prepared, she would have to work the rest of her shift commando, so that might not be good. But how much does one charge for her panties? My wife sent hers to our friend for free. And these weren't cheap panties. If you were inclined to turn over your panties to a creepy stranger, how much would it really cost you? Assuming this wasn't a regular business where you have to cover overhead and insurance and pay taxes and stuff, couldn't you get some panties for $5 or so and make a nice $15 dollar profit. For a chick getting paid $8 an hour, this is a nice little tip, I'd say.
I also had a thought, and again, this is all just fantasy stuff - I have no intention of doing this anymore than the fantasy I have of ordering room service in a hotel and asking the delivery guy if I could give him a blow job for his trouble. I think about it, a lot, but I would never do it. Anyway, I also thought maybe if I went inside the store and saw Kimmy on her break, perhaps I could just approach her and ask, how would you like to consider a business proposition? I just always assume that if I ever did try to talk to one of these young ladies on any topic that didn't include the words, "extra ice, please", they would quickly yell STRANGER-DANGER! Bad touch, bad touch! and things like that.
And so it goes, this little fantasy that I have once again comes to an end. I had it, I thought about it a lot, and I move on.
But I do have a question about this for both the ladies and the men here. First off, ladies, how big of a big deal would it be to give your panties to a guy you only know either over the Internet or some occasional dude you see at work? Have you ever sold your panties?
Guys, have you ever bought some (used)? If your wife wanted to make some extra cash and sell her panties on E-Bay, would that freak you out or would you just have an attitude of, hey, you better buy me a new TV with your earnings!
Finally, Kimmy's dad: Please don't shoot me. She is a lovely young lady and I would never actually ask her to let me sniff her panties. But if she offered...