Monday, April 17, 2017

Creeper Guilt

I should be ashamed of myself but to be honest, I've just accepted that this is who I am.  I'm the guy who as innocently as possible gawks at a coworker's wife while he is being promoted.

If you go back to New Years Eve, my wife and I were at a great party at Co-worker A's condo overlooking our beautiful downtown.  This young LT and his smoking hot wife were there and even then, I found it difficult not to sneak an occasional peek at her.

As the drinks flowed, she began saying and doing things that seemed to show this chick was only getting started.  In fact, she made another guys wife uncomfortable by repeatedly trying to make out with her.  The lady told the LT, "Uh could you please ask your drunk wife to stop tongue fucking my mouth?"

That was funny.

The other thing was, she confided in the hostess who confided in my wife that, the LT's dick is so big she is in pain every time they fuck.

My dick is fairly average in size.  I'd be happy to fill in.

So on Friday, we held a promotion ceremony for the young LT and his wife was seated next to me.  I loved the looks she gave her husband at times during the ceremony.  I pretended to be looking into the audience but I was looking at her and at him.

These kids seem to still be in love.  If only he was into having a guy old enough to be their father, give her a good licking and fucking.

When it was over, I walked back to the office with Co-Worker H.   We both could not stop talking about this wife.  Of course, Co-Worker H has been mentioned a few times recently so I should just come right and say it. In a weird chain of events, H has now become my direct boss.  And we are sucking each other as often as we can do so without raising suspicion.  It is not uncommon for doors to be shut during conversations about personnel matters, so nobody bats an eyelash, but still.

Mostly, H is blowing me. He loves my dick and my cum.  I love his huge dick too, but I've never tasted his cum. With us older guys, these things happen.  You get older, your dick doesn't work as well as it did when you were younger.  It is a nice treat to try to get him fully erect though.

I totally get H's constant horniness in spite of his malfunctioning dick.  It is a mental thing where you see every situation as potentially sexual, yet you have enough self-control to not just whip out your dick and jack-off.  It is a form of mental masturbation I suppose.  We were sitting in a meeting and he he lightly kicked my leg to get my attention.  I used his eyes to motion toward the female co-worker seated two seats away from me.  Her side view accentuated her huge, firm breasts, tightly covered by a clingy blouse.  I looked back at him and he made just the slightest expression involving licking his lips.  I let out a silent giggle only to notice another colleague of ours witness the exchange.  Busted.

This is the sort of thing that keeps HR departments in business. Old guys getting all gawky at the younger women in the work place.  Just reading it sounds bad, but in reality, this is not Mad Men on steroids, in fact, aside from that little miscue, the comments and creepy looks are very much done in private.

I just question whether or not (and I apologize, I feel like I've posed this same question over and over for years now) I'm extra special creepy.  I feel like I am in a constant state of horndoggedness when I'm out in public.  The hostess at the place we go to for Friday night Margaritas and beer always seems to seat us in a place that allows me to stare at her.  She is young (too young to even consider) but she has this beautiful face and eyes.  We make eye contact multiple times during the visit.  She is not flirting with me, I think she is just trying to be nice.

I see a lady in my neighborhood when I'm checking my mail.  She lives in the house near the mailbox cluster and seems to always be outside with her kids or working in her yard.  She is blonde, wears outfits that seem appropriate for a golf course, always fashionable and conservative.  I've made up all these stories in my mind that she must be foreign.  Sure enough, my wife and I stop at a garage sale and she is there, chatting with the lady hosting the sale.  I was right.  Her accent is German.  Suddenly I'm eager for her to do something German to me.  I don't know what that means but it feels like it would be dirty and hot.

You already know about me and the grocery store.  The experience every time is like a fat kid in a candy store.  I want a sample of nearly everything there.  Young mommies in yoga pants; college girls with their ass cheeks exposed. My wife makes good cover since, surely, no husband would be checking out women in every aisle with his wife present.

My next door neighbors have both of their adult children living with them.  The daughter is a college graduate and works, the son may still be in college.  I've been attracted to the mother in this family from the day we moved in.  She is from South America and works as a designer.  She could be a model.  She and the daughter always wave hello when they are headed to the gym and I'm outside.  They both wear those workout style yoga pants and I avoid staring.  I've always been so attracted to the the mother that I've barely given the daughter a second look.  But then the other day, I was outside when the daughter came home from a water park. She was wearing shorts that allowed her ass cheeks to hang out and suddenly, I found an interest in her.  I still like the mother better, but damn.

My entire neighborhood is fill with mostly attractive people.  They are active, they walk their dogs, they walk with kids on bicycles, and they jog.  I noticed some older guys, guys my age will sit out front in their lawn chairs in the evening.  Are they just creepers like me?  Probably.  One guy who is a police officer sits outside and smokes a big fat cigar.  I can just see him telling his wife he is going to be nice and smoke his cigar outside.  But why not on the back porch?  Nah, better do it out front where the people are.

I guess this is what I've become.  One of those old guys who gawks at women.  


Pancho said...

You want her to do something 'German' to you, maybe make you a nice schnitzel hahaha. Thanks, that cracked me up...

Mike said...

Ha! I really wouldn't worry about it. I'm 52 and do the exact same thing. Virtually every woman that I meet or see, no matter the context, I want to have sex with them. And as you know, I'm occasionally successful in that endeavour. ;)