Thursday, April 20, 2017

Waiting Room Volume

Here's a question for you.  How personal does a conversation have to be before you tone it down in front of other people?  Using the scenario of being in a waiting room where a TV is playing HGTV, people are checking thier Facebook pages or texting people on thier phones, what is your likelihood of having a conversation at normal conversational volume, regardless of what it is?  Clearly, I'm painting a specific picture of a particular thing, but before you read any further into my scenario, maybe you could take a second and just settle it in your own mind.

For me, I tend to adjust my volume based upon my surroundings.  If I'm in a room full of people watching a sporting event and the conversation is about the huge play that was just made, I'm certainly going to speak loud enough that anyone else in that room could respond or make a comment to add to the conversation.  You invite participation that way.  But in that same room of sports fans, I'm not going to enthusiastically announce that I just shit my pants and need to make an emergency exit.

So here is what happened: My wife and I were sitting in a reasonably crowded waiting room when she chuckled.  I looked up from my own phone and she said in a conversational volume, that she got a funny message from JD.

I looked at her thinking to myself that she would lower her voice but no, she casually explained that he wanted to get an RV, outfit it with cameras and then have me drive around while the two of them have sex in the back.  I could watch them on the camera.

She laughed again and I just looked at her and asked  in a hushed tone if she thought everyone in the waiting room should know.  She just shrugged her shoulders and said, "Oh, they don't care."

I of course surveyed the nearest people to us. The lady sitting about five feet from us never looked up from her phone but I'm sure she gave a slight chuckle under her breath.

I guess it's true.  Most people these days are not nearly as voyeuristically observant as I am; I pick up on conversations all the time.  Perhaps this is why I tend to quiet down when talking about finances and fucking.

I think the more interesting thing is how casual this has become in our life.  I would have never thought she would be so open and frankly, honest about what is going on.  I know early in our years of this stuff, she would pretend that we had not allowed another man in our bed.  Just flat out deny it to herself.  Now, it's normal.

I presented this scenario to one of my co-workers yesterday, a guy familiar with our situation.  He went off for ten minutes about how his wife does the same exact thing (not drive around in an RV fucking, but talk loud).  He said the worst is when he will quietly make note of a person, describing the clothes or body features and his wife will just respond by pointing and loudly say, "You mean that lady with the ugly sweater?" or some such.

His conclusion: All women are stupid.

Okay, I'm not sure I'm going to take that as fact, but people, is this a guy thing?


Pancho said...

I tell my wife she has no filter or inside voice. Anything and everything comes out of her mouth, ive told her many times 'think before you speak'. I've thought it's cultural. In my experience hispanics in general are a loud people, we used to have a few Puerto Rican friends and by the end of the night I always had a headache. That may be painting a broad stroke but just my experience...

JFBreak said...

Funny - I seem to recall Mrs. Pancho announcing to my wife that your nickname is "BD" for Big Dick. That was awkward. What would have been more awkward is if my wife had responded with, "Yes, I know."


Bruce Chang said...

I'm generally context sensitive volume-wise. Was chatting with a buddy of mine on a train and we went from talking in excited tones about sports to normal volume about polyamory and monogamy when speaking in general terms and then it got quieter and kinda more code-like when it led to personal experiences in threesomes and such. It was quiet but I'm sure someone could listen in if they chose to, though. I generally tune people out. Even loud peeps.

bdenied said...

well sometimes its nice to stretch out of ones comfort zone.. Often my wife will get a text from a lover. I will casually remark, "Oh is that your boyfriend again?" People around us might hear but they actually think Im joking. I will often tell a co-worker that I better call before I get home to give her boyfriend time to clear out....they chuckle but really dont think I am serious...