Saturday, July 29, 2017

Confession is Good for the Soul...

And that was how I started my conversation with two friends over on New Years Eve as we stood out on the back porch while they smoked. Lesbians understand. I confessed to the two that I was bi and that my wife knew. They were not shocked. But I felt better having told them. Then, the partner of another gay friend was out back to smoke (I don't smoke but as a good host I like to hang out with the smokers outside), and I told him. He had been married for almost 20 years before he came out to his wife and subsequently divorced. I told him that I don't see that in my future; I'm good with the bi thing and with being married.

There was nothing earth shattering but it felt good, even if a bunch of gay people is an easy audience to confess to, it felt good to be honest about it.

Happy New Year!


oatmeal girl said...

Interesting. I'm bi, too, and continue to have mainly heterosexual relationships. But my main problem with coming out was to people in my gay synagogue. I didn't let them know when I joined, but eventually felt not only the need to be honest (especially at the time I acquired a boyfriend) but the need to remind them that there really are bi people in the world.

My gay male friends have a much easier time with it than the lesbians, one of whom says "You're confused."

I'm glad you can maintain your whole identity within your marriage. Good luck!


Anonymous said...

Good way to start the New Year. It is good not to hide.


JFBreak said...

Thanks for your comments. I suspect I will never come out. Since I have no intention of engaging in a romantic lifelong relationship with another man, I am shielded from the tough social complications that gay people have to deal with. I'm just sharing with friends that when it comes to sex, I enjoy it with both women and men.

There really is no reason to share this interest with co-workers, my kids, my parents and simple casual acquaintances, anymore than a person would share with that group of people that they are into S&M or golden showers.

I'm not suggesting, by the way, that bisexuality is only a sexual position or kink. I do believe people who are bi could experience intimate, loving relationships with either sex. In my case though, if only for the convenience of my life, I am comfortable being a man married to a woman and don't see myself dumping her to go looking for a man to share my life with.

I would be a liar though if I suggested that I can remain faithful to her and forgo the joy of the occasional encounter with another man. That makes me a cheater, but I can live with that.

Anonymous said...


Found this forum. Looks good on the surface, but I have yet to spend any time there.


JFBreak said...

I checked it out Uno. Me likey! Thanks.