Friday, September 21, 2018

IGHIH: Afternoon Relief

Through a series of unavoidable events and reasons and things, at home meetings were not possible over the last month or so.  This week, my wife and her lover JD found an hour that worked out between the two of them. Unfortunately for me, my schedule wasn’t accommodating, but really, I’m not required to be present for things to work out.  Especially when pictures are involved. 

Following the usual chitchat and a beer, they headed off to the bedroom where JD spent a considerable amount of time performing his oral talents on my wife.  He certainly knows the reason she keeps him coming by!
Once she had experienced a series of screaming orgasms (according to her account of the event), they switched things up and let her work on him a bit. 

My wife tells me that she asked if she could try something a little different.  He was open to a thrill, so she grabbed a vibrating anal stimulator, lubed it sufficiently and proceeded to insert the full length up his bum!
Now, using a new vibrator she had purchased earlier that day, she massaged his thick dick and balls while performing a BJ. 
She tells me that the results were explosive!  I’d say a picture is worth a thousand words!

JD apparently was left wobbly-legged and then went into a post orgasm guilt about having been so into the ass play.  People, please.  When is our society going to stop pushing that whole ass play is gay thing?  Nothing gay about having a mind blowing orgasm while a woman is massaging your prostate.

Later that night while she rode me, she gave me the details of their little encounter.  My wife has always been a little iffy when it comes to my bi side but she seems to enjoy the fact that I have no qualms about tasting the result of her relations with JD.  Just as she was grinding herself to an orgasm on my dick, she panted, "Lick my tits! I want you to taste his dried cum."

It took less than three licks to get to the center of the Tootsie pop.

Sunday, September 9, 2018

Is it Polyamory or Not?

I mentioned that I've been looking at Quora recently.  I responded to a question that I had been looking at for several days, and in spite of my issuing of disclaimers and caveats, of course I got an immediate response from someone complaining about my answer.

The question I responded to was: "What does it feel like to come out as polyamorous?"

And this was my response:

I’ve pondered this question quite a bit. I’m not sure I’m really qualified to answer it, given that my wife and I are not fully out to family and friends about our special arrangement.

One thing is, the relationship she has with her boyfriend is strictly on the down-low. We do not practice what is commonly referred to as Ethical Non-Monogamy, that is where everything is open to everyone. Of course, as her husband, I am fully aware of her activities with her BF, and in fact, I consider him a friend. It isn’t all about sex, and the three of us routinely discuss normal things adults talk about. Work, TV shows, kids, sports, etc.

But, he is married and his wife is not aware of his outside activity. This limits the interaction and in a way, I think it makes the relationship better. I never have the jealousy issues that some husbands might have when their wife is out all the time with another man.

For those that would look down on us for being involved with a married person without his spouses consent, I’ll just simply add that the marriage is one of convenience. They stay married because of their child, and it is certain she would have left him years ago, if not for their kid. So, they put on a good face for neighbors and friends, but sex between them is rare, arguments are often, and it is a very real possibility that she has a BF of her own.

Many of our friends know of our arrangement but there is no need to put up a sign on our front door announcing that my wife has a BF and I’m okay with it. The handful of colleagues at work aware of the situation, really don’t give it another thought, though I’ve been careful to have general conversations to see how they might react before sharing this information. I think it is like that with a lot of private things. You don’t just randomly tell people that you enjoy a particular sex act or kink, and being in an open, polyamorous relationship is not something you just discuss over donuts in the break room.

So, to answer the question, “What does it feel like to come out as polyamorous?” For me, I get an adrenaline rush when I tell the story to someone. That first time I reveal to someone that my wife has a BF and I’m okay with it, I can see the gears spinning in their mind. I’m eager to answer their questions. I’ve yet to have a person freak out and terminate the friendship.

More importantly, I’ve had several friends smile and say that they are also involved in some form of the polyamorous lifestyle, which tells me that a lot more people are doing this, in some form or fashion, than we all realize.

Okay - so that was my response.  I got a comment almost immediately from someone saying,
"Sorry I'm going to step in and as someone who has practiced ethical non monogamy as a poly person for over 10 years and say please don't label this poly. I'm not policing what you're doing or putting it down but if anything, I think you have more of a 'open relationship’ versus polyamory where everyone involved must know and consent to what is taking place. The fact that he is cheating on his wife makes this not fall in the polyamory bracket at all."

I think this person was looking at the cheating husband aspect of the arrangement and trying to not have such a thing sully the label of poly.  But if you look at the definition of Polyamorous (or at least the definition I understand), it is:

noun: polyamory
  1. the philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time.

If we ignore the fact that JD is cheating on his wife and only look at my marriage, I think it qualifies as Polyamorous.  I specifically mentioned that we don't participate in ethical non-monogamy which would require that nobody is cheating. 

I love the Internet.  Everyone has their own point of view and is free to express it.  I'm not offended that this person felt like they had to defend their definition of a term from being used by someone not worthy.   Remember all the debates about the definition of marriage?  It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.  

Actually, I think most people today, regardless of how religious they are would be horrified if they had to live under some of the marriage definitions from not too many years ago.  You know, how women were basically sold off as property to men, who were then allowed to rape them or beat them.  And the fact that husbands could have a number of wives, yet in most cases, the wife was not able to have an extra husband.  Our definition of a lot of things has changed over time.   

I grabbed a second, more expansive definition:

polyamory, n.
poly • am • ory
The fact of having simultaneous close romantic relationships with two or more other individuals, viewed as an alternative to monogamy, esp. in regard to matters of sexual fidelity; the custom or practice of engaging in multiple romantic relationships with the knowledge and consent of all partners concerned.

Again, with this definition, and I'm not a lawyer here trying to argue a case, but the partners concerned are me, my wife, and JD.  JD's wife is not part of this - though admittedly, that is my evaluation of it, perhaps not hers.  

I don't think any of us would argue that JD cheating on his wife is a perfect thing.  I would only say that this isn't his first rodeo, and frankly, his wife is no stranger to infidelities of her own.

In the end, I deleted the response from Quora simply because I have no reason to upset people who find my claiming to be part of a Polyamorous relationship offensive.  Not is simply too short.

Friday, September 7, 2018

It Has Been Over a Week...

It has been well over a week since I posted here.  Aunt Clara e-mailed me to ask if I was sick or busy or something had gone awry.  Nothing really has prevented me from posting, aside from the fact that I don't have anything really that interesting to report. 

My wife and I did go twelve or more days without sex, according to her.  We rectified that with back to back nights of loving. 

We've had a guest staying with us and the weekly meetings with JD have had to take place in local bars.  No way to fuck, though I guess some kissing has occurred.  Needless to say, my wife has been eager for sex, and frankly, I guess I just allowed myself to climb in bed and drift off to sleep without noticing her attempts to nudge my dick into action. 

I've been active on Quora recently.  Do you know that website?  They basically have people answer questions.  It makes for great writing prompts.  I enjoy the anonymous stories people post, mostly when they are met with comments about how fake they are.

College and Pro football have started.  Tomorrow I'm out to see our local college team play Baylor.  Rain may prevent our tailgate, but I'm prepared to cook brats and fajitas in a downpour, as long as my canopy holds. 

In other news, I'm having computer issues.  I'm a firm believer that if you have a PC, you basically have to buy a new one every two to three years.  That's just the price you pay for not buying a Mac.  I have two PC's on my desk, one of those All In One types that I simply don't use, and a pretty good PC tower that I've had for close to 7 or 8 years.  My primary has started to slow down.  I do all the usual back-ups, clean-ups and other stuff you should do, but frankly, I think I'm ready for a new one.

I started looking online at the Apple products.  I swore that I would move to Mac for my next computer purchase.  Let's face it, I have the iPhone and the iPad, it makes sense to just get either a Mac laptop or desktop.  If I got the laptop, I could connect to a big monitor and keyboard and mouse.  I even started looking at refurbished models, just to save my wife from the sticker shock.

Somebody talk some sense into me.  Do I really need to go with a $2,000 Mac or should I spend $300 on a new PC and be done with it?

What if I bought my wife a Mac and me a Mac at the same time?  That would be a serious Christmas, right?

Okay, final topic since I don't have anything sexual to report. 

Can you tell me about your cutting the cord?  I started down the road of switching to Sling and just getting rid of cable.  I already have Amazon Prime and Netflix, both of witch we use extensively.  I do have the regular Hulu, but I'm told that if you pay for the expensive Hulu and get HBO Go and ShowTime Go (or whatever), you can live a normal TV life.

Part of my issue is the 15 minutes of local news I watch each night.  I've tried over the air HD antenna's and I guess the station I watch is too far from us to get it over the air.  So, I guess I can switch local stations. 

I'd appreciate any suggestions you might have.  My wife and I are ridiculously stupid in the amount of TV we watch.  I feel like if we can get AMC, FX, History Channel, plus HBO and Showtime on demand, we should be good.  Am I going to lose my mind if I cut the cable?  Do tell.

Friends, I appreciate you all more than you can possibly know.  I get a handful of e-mails a day from people that I love to correspond with.  If I miss an e-mail or don't respond right away, please know that I'm just super busy.  If you ever want to be connected with my pen-pals, just ask and I'll see if I can make a connection.  Of course, if they don't want to be connected with, it won't happen.

Love your comments and your e-mails.

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Monogamy, Is it Viable?

One of my favorite podcasts is the Guys We F*%#ked podcast with comedians Krystyna Hutchinson and Corinne Fisher.  Check it out.  They recently did a live podcast with a woman who is the host of another sex podcast from Kenya called The Spread.  I decided to check it out and I LOVED it.

The episode I listened to was titled, Monogamy, Is it Viable?   It was incredible to listen to these two women discuss the concept of monogamy from the point of view of their society.

When my wife and I were living in a European country, thanks to the military, we learned that married people there assumed that there would be infidelity in the marriage.  People were discreet for the most part, but it was perfectly acceptable that a husband was seen a town or two away from his home in a hotel with a woman, not his wife.  And if you think the women sat at home crying, think again.  They don't call them MILF's for nothing.

Moving on, these African women on the podcast have the discussion from the same point of view from what I experienced living in that culture.  Refreshing is what I call it.

Take a listen if you will.  I think if you follow my blog for the aspects of hotwives and cuckolds, you may find an interesting conversation.

Let's be honest.  If you are reading this from the US, we have a pretty fucked up point of view.  We sell sex all day long in advertising, but we come across as a bunch of prudes.

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

The Instagram Mom...

I’ve shifted my vanilla social media presences from food blogs, Facebook and Twitter to basically posting the contents of my dinner on Instagram.

Sure, I have my naughty social media in the form of this blog, a Twitter account I never log into and a Tumblr account that I visit entirely too many times a day.  My Reddit presence is solely the Strictly Anonymous forum. You should join that one, please.

But, on the vanilla side, my Instagram account is a collection of the dinners I've had, Friday night beers at our usual place and an occasional picture taken on one of our weekend visits in our beautiful city.

Like other social media, Instagram often suggests people I should follow based on the people I already follow or contacts or whatever algorithm they have going. I don’t spend a lot of time messing with it but I definitely have landed on the pretty celebrities, podcasters, and comedians I enjoy.  Aside from well known people or friends, I have to admit there are people I follow that later, I realize I have no idea how they showed up on my feed.

Recently,  I started following this friend of a friend or contact of a contact who posted a few pictures of herself in bathing (swim) attire.  The hot pics were cool and all but clearly this lady was more into the perfectly curated image of her cute kids.  Like the majority of my other feeds with pics of grandkids and the children of friends, this lady was good for at least a handful of posts showing dinner and playtime with her toddlers.

But then the cleavage and bikini shots would appear.  More of that please.

I couldn’t help myself in sending a direct message. It was a friendly compliment about a picture.  A picture taken at the river.  Her kids were there, but clearly her bikini was on display.

The conversation took off slowly, respectfully, lots of jokes and more compliments.  I could feel myself going down the path that my friend Emma told me I needed to avoid.  I call it the game.

I introduce the topics that slowly open the door to the next topic on the ladder up to sexual banter.  This is my natural progression in every relationship I have had that did not involve a blood relative.

By the time my Instagram mom told me she was bi and was hooking up with a couple for FMF threesomes, I knew I could ask her for what I needed.

"So my next question then is, is there any chance on earth I get some panties? I'll never know if I don't ask."

She responded, "Hmm.  Let me think about it. ;)"

I already know I'm in but I say, "I could give you some ideas on how it could happen if that helps."

"I'm interested." she replied.

Of course, this all didn't happen in a minute.  These short messages took a few hours to come.  That's just how it works.  I'm not glued to Instagram all day.

Here’s the thing.  I don’t know if I’m more fucked up for wanting to watch this single mom peel off her panties and let me savor the moment I see her exposed pussy or for the fact that once we have crossed that line, I can be more open with her.  Another person to share secrets with. Someone to tell my story.

This doesn’t lead to sex.  That is never my intent.  But as Emma has told me, by drawing these people in, getting them to cross a line, I’m now free to reveal all those secrets just waiting to explode from my brain.

You all know my secrets, assuming you’ve been reading for a while or emailing me.  I should be happy with this small family of confidantes.  But, like Bill Cosby and Pudding, there’s always room for more.

In the end though, something has changed.  Before we took the conversation to a point of action, of me showing up at her house with cash, I backed off.  Not because I think there is anything wrong with people getting what they want out of a deal, but because I just may not be in my right mind over all this stuff.

I've seen a shift in my behavior, sexually.  No, not turning even more gay as some readers might think.  But I see my eye wandering much more often than it has.  Like, every woman I see is attractive.  Every encounter, every interaction with a woman I have has me in my mind thinking sexual thoughts.  Never in an aggressive, "I need to have sex" way, but more of a, "I wonder if she has any nude pics on the Internet" way. 

In my mind, I have become nothing short of Harvey Weinstein, though I just don't sexually assault people or force them to have sex in order to get movie deals. Allegedly. (I'm sure a lawyer would suggest I say, Allegedly.)

So In several messages I've gone back to the Instagram mommy and apologized for being such a perv.  Her responses have been little heart imogees and "Oh, you're fine. If you cross the line, I'll tell you."

But still.  I'm just doing stupid stuff.  And I can't seem to get through the grocery store without checking out every ass in yoga pants or catching a quick glimpse of any jiggling cleavages that pass by me.  I'm never obvious, or I hope I'm not. 

And yet, all this mental interest in things of beauty never translates to anything physical.  I'm not jacking off in the parking lot after eyeing a woman whose skirt blows up in the wind revealing her thong.  I'm not walking around the store with an erection or randomly asking women if they have a Tumblr account.  These are all just constant thoughts rolling around in my mind.  As if I'm reliving my life as a 14 year-old. 

Can you just imagine if they had the Internet when I was a horny 14 year-old?

Saturday, August 11, 2018

Oops. Recall That Message!

Earlier this week at work I got a call from my wife saying that she thought someone was trying to break into her e-mail account.  I told her to go in and change the password.  I'm not sure if it was a case of her forgetting her password and having to recover, then change it, or someone actually messing with it, but she got the issue resolved.

Last night, she asked me if I had been trying to get into her account.  It isn't like I hadn't looked at her e-mails years ago.  The truth is, no, I hadn't this time around.  That was the end of that.

I think most of us have been in situations where an e-mail or text got fired off and it went to the wrong person.  Just a week ago, my wife was carrying on three simultaneous messaging sessions and that one time she is sending a nude photograph of a guy she knows to a gay friend of mine, she accidentally sends it to our son.  Ooops!  In the end, it was quite hilarious.

Hopefully your mistakes aren't quite that horrific.  But still, I think if you work in a business where people keep hitting Reply-All instead of the simple Reply button, you know how embarrassing things can turn.

I learned the other morning that a friend of mine intending to use her friendship with me to vent and blow off some steam about her husband, inadvertently sent the e-mail to her husband.  Holy hell!  Apologies were made, crow was eaten, and there is no imminent divorce proceedings, but you can just imagine how a simple thing like that could create such an issue. 

I suppose that's the risk I take every time I post another blog here.  Not that it gets sent to the wrong e-mail, but that some tricky combination of key word searches lands someone I'm not expecting to be looking for hotwife sex to stumble upon it.

And what if someone I know who is privy to this blog has their account hacked and their exposed information includes me?  Life is too short to worry about that.

My friend and I talked about the fact that, the husband knowing the truth about what she was thinking about him was not such a bad thing.  Those painful conversations that we are all afraid to have.  Gay people afraid to come out of the closet almost universally agree that once they came out, it was like a soul crushing burden was lifted off their shoulders.  The husband who craves some form of kinky sex but is so sure his wife will leave him if she only knew he wanted to wear her stockings.  And then the wife finds out and says, buy your own, I don't want you to stretch mine.

We are all so afraid of being completely honest, but our excuse is that we don't want to hurt the people around us.

I've actually seen some of the ugly things my wife has told others about me.  Not because I hacked into her e-mail account but because sometimes, she just leaves her iPad open and the messages are there, begging me to look.  And you know what? Sometimes it is helpful to see what your spouse is upset about. 

Put it this way, Google knows EVERY SINGLE THING about me.  They read my blog, they have made the simple connection between my blog name and my real name; they know what I post on my vanilla social media and where my life intersects with this personality and the other.  And yet, that hasn't harmed my relationship with Google.  So, maybe a misdirected e-mail or text isn't the end of the world.

Monday, August 6, 2018

Rules, Anger, and Openness... Too Much Openness.

As you might expect from someone who blogs about the things I do, I will have conversations in the form of emails or direct messages with a variety of men, husbands, interested in the topic of hot wives, cuckold, sharing, threesomes and the like.  Each time I start a new one of these conversations, it is almost a given that before long, there will be a statement about the fairness of our arrangement. 

Our arrangement, to recap, is that my wife has sex with a friend of ours but I do not necessarily go out and have sex with other women.  You may ask, how is that fair to me?  It’s simple.  I get off on my wife having sex with other men.  She doesn’t get off on me having sex with other women.  Or anyone else. 

This is where the DADT part of our arrangement occurs.  Yes, my wife knows I’m bi.  No, it is not a turn on for her.  I know there are a handful of you female readers who would kill to watch a husband or boyfriend engage in some bi play.  If I had realized I was bi when I married my wife, that probably would have been something I insisted on. You know, a wife who could get into watching me with another guy from time to time. 

But yes, my wife knows I’m bi and she does know that I’ve had encounters with other guys.  She even knows a few of them.  She just doesn’t want the details, though she has asked a few times.  I can tell when she is getting uncomfortable with the details so I usually cut short with, “we jacked each other”.

In other news, I’ve been going through some really weird stuff recently.  I know it isn’t helpful for those of you attempting to diagnose my issues if I can’t share all the details, but in short, I experienced a seemingly minor bash to my head.  It was a goofy slip and fall on my tile floor that seemed funny in the moment but felt like hell the next day. 

Not long after, another similar fall.  I’ve been seen by a doctor and all that but in spite of the clean bill of health, I feel different. I’ve found myself to be in a bad mood.  Not depressed, mind you, but I find myself in a state of being pissed off at things that wouldn’t normally give me a second notice. 

I am historically the most easy going, friendly guy ever.  Honest.  Lately, I feel like I’ve been a dick.  Not to my wife per se, but just in general.  Like finding myself in a moment that requires some patience yet feeling my blood begin to boil.  I don't act out in anti-social ways, breaking things or causing a scene, but I have noticed more of those heavy sighs and rolled eyeballs the way a 12 year-old girl might respond to a mother.

This all could be a function of me just getting older, more forgetful, more disgusted with the world around me.  Or I could have knocked something loose when I fell and hit my noggin.    I’m going to bring it up to my doctor. But the question is, do any of you go through phases of just being mad? This is a new thing for me.

If that wasn't strange enough, I need to take you back a few weeks ago to this post about my friend Co-Worker Rick.  If you missed it, the cautionary tale was that you should delete all our old e-mails because you could die unexpectedly and your kids might see e-mails you wish they hadn't.

Things may not have been as I first thought.  Yes, the daughter has the e-mails, yes she has seen the videos and pictures Rick sent me of his girlfriends and conquests.  Of course she saw pics of my wife's boobs, though in fairness, they may have been pics my wife sent him (she would do that from time to time).

No, the big news here is that Rick had showed his daughter.  Before you totally freak, again, we are talking an adult aged daughter her.  But still, gross.

Between conversations with the daughter (it was like pulling teeth before she would really open up about it all) and the ex-live-in girlfriend who knew it all, it turned out that Rick would get very loose-lipped during bar conversations with his daughter.  He used her as someone to lean on.  I get that, but to show your daughter a video of you engaged in sex acts?  I'm sorry, call me a prude...

Once this all came out and it was no longer me feeling bad that my friend had BURDENED his daughter with finding his naughty e-mails after he died, but instead that he was that open with her before he died, I felt a little queasy.

Besides the extreme lack of talent, grammatical skills and self-motivation, the reason I've never attempted to write professionally about this lifestyle is that I haven't been able to imagine the moment my kids would read about it.  My kids who are adults and are clearly their own sexual beings.  I hate that our society has made all this taboo, but frankly, as open as I am about these things with strangers on the Internet or people I meet, I just don't see the value in sharing my sexual story with my kids.

I have been so jealous of those brilliant writers and podcasters who can just open up knowing that their parents, siblings and children will know it all. Granted, this is why I am out as bi to most people I know, but not my kids, siblings or parents.  Maybe I'm the problem.

When I talked with Rick's daughter about this she just laughed it off.  She said it wasn't like she didn't hear him having sex with his conquests or live-in girlfriends, so why shouldn't she talk to him about it afterwards?  I'm both horrified and jealous.  But I just don't think I'll ever sit down with my kids and say, "Wow, you should have seen the cum on mom's tits and how I licked it off."

Boundaries, people.