Friday, May 18, 2018

Weekend Notes and Windows...

This is probably rude of me but I took a picture of the bedroom window on neighbors house.  Notice the bottle of lotion on the window sill?  Just above the bed of the young man who lives there.  The guy is over 21 and has a girlfriend so it could be that he just likes to keep his skin smooth.


My hope for humanity is that my neighbors are sex positive people and he is not ashamed to keep jack-off lube handy. 

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I’ve been having some nice conversations with fellow blogger bdenied.  If you don’t regularly look at his blog, I’d suggest you check him out.  Good fun with he and his wife.

Either way, we stumbled into a conversation about my years of seething anger resulting from issues with my wife. 

Just up front I should tell you that life is good.  I mean, my relationship with my wife is as good as it has been in years.  I attribute a lot of the good vibe to the ongoing relationship with our friend JD. 

JD visited this week and while I wasn’t home to participate, I benefit in other ways.  My wife shared pics and she shared details.  But the biggest benefit to me is the sexual satisfaction she gets from thier romps in the sack.  And that is where our conversation took the direction of discussing the below the surface anger and resentment I’ve held onto over the years. 

If you’ve followed the blog for a number of years, you probably recall the many posts I wrote about our rocky times.  I learned to simply let everything go, let her have her way at all times, and for the most part take the backseat when it came to my feelings. 

People, if you are in a relationship and you are the controlling party, always dominant in the day to day relationship (not even talking sex here, at all), then beware of the partner you are creating for yourself.  I am the result of years of a controlling wife who confidently ran the show.  It isn't that I am one of these sissified cuckolds you read about, no offense to those of you who enjoy that moniker, but I fell into this pattern of life as a way of simply going along to get along.  For you, the overbearing controller of the relationship, I promise, you will regret it.

Reading this blog, you have witnessed the joy my wife gets from me, the husband, happily opening our marriage to others. I simply no longer believe that monogamy is the norm, so she is free to enjoy her relationship with my friend, JD.  Too bad for him, his wife doesn't feel as open. Just saying. 

But as much as I am turned on by the idea of, the visual of, the mental description of a married woman fucking a man who is not her husband; I'm not sure that I would have put this situation, this incredibly satisfying situation into place had it not been for the anger and the underlying, smoldering resentment I had and I guess still have for my wife and the way she treated me over the years.

Think about that for a minute.

I could never fuck my wife again and I wouldn't care. Yet, I'm turned on by watching or knowing about our friend fucking her. I enjoy images of my wife sucking my friend's dick. I like seeing her spank him.  I love the taste of his cum on her body. That part is because I'm Bi and I enjoy the taste of cum, but you get the point.

I don't know what to tell you.  I am not the example when it comes to these sorts of relationships. I know a lot about being a Stag or a Cuckold or the husband of a Hotwife.  I can school you.  I can tell you where to learn more and I can give you advice on what not to do.  But truth is, as hot as it is (and believe me, it is very, very hot), this lifestyle is not for everyone.  And my arrangement, as much as it works, is not the perfect example.

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Older Folks and Pr0n!

I'm no spring chicken here.  I mean, I'm a guy in my mid-fifties and while I think we can all agree that generally, age is just a number and we have examples all around us of people who defy age (Cher, Jane Fonda, and Dolly Parton all immediately come to mind), still, I'm not out running marathons or anything like that.  Out of an abundance of safety, I have tried to move my daily exercise routine from out of the hot Texas sunshine where I normally walk several miles along the roads of my neighborhood to the comfort of my air conditioned guest room where a treadmill quietly counts the steps and miles I walk.  This change makes my wife feel better since it reduces the chance she will find me laying on the side of the road with heat exhaustion.  It really is hot in Texas.

When I walk outdoors, I plug into the latest podcasts in my queue.  Indoors, I could do that but I have found that it gives me a perfect opportunity to catch up on TV shows my wife is not interested in. So with my iPad, I've been connecting to my cable provider and using the on-demand feature to catch up on things.  I also enjoy documentaries.  I started watching one on Showtime called X-Rated: The Greatest Adult Movies of All Time. Exercise and porn, now I understand how Dolly does it! 

This may come as a surprise to readers here, but I never really have watched porn movies.  In fact, aside from the clips you can see posted in minute long bursts on Tumblr, I've just not had the urge.  Granted, my wife and I did rent the VHS tape Caligula early in our marriage, and in spite of the complete debauchery of that movie, let's be honest, it is full of famous actors, not porn stars.  I think that movie pretty much left us disinterested in the idea of porn as a movie night choice. Though in fairness, I think I'd like to go back and watch it with a more mature eye.

Back to this documentary.  I've heard of most of these films.  Debbie Does Dallas, Deep Throat, The Devil in Miss Jones, Behind The Green Door.  And the stars, Jenna Jameson, Marilyn Chambers, Ron Jeremy, James Deen. I was fascinated with Georgina Spelvin.  She played Miss Jones. I guess what is interesting to me is the concept of an older, I mean, much older woman openly discussing sex and the things she did in that movie.  Perhaps this is why I'm also fascinated with Betty Dodson, they old-school sex-educator.  Older women saying "cunt" and "pussy".  Makes me all nervous.

This actually brings me to the point of all this - yes, I once again take the long way around the barn; I am extremely fascinated by the middle aged and older women I see posing nude or engaging in porn clips on Tumblr.  I've never hidden my fascination for women that are much older than I am, and I promise you, this isn't some Oedipus kink I have.  If anything, I was probably sexually imprinted by friends of my mother or perhaps school teachers that I found attractive when I was a naughty little kid.  But to be clear, not my mom!

It very well could be that the pictures and videos I stumble across come from other countries.  I swear, we are such prudes here in the US.  Perhaps I could walk down a street in Spain or France and some older lady would not think twice about putting her cleavage on display.  When I walk into the grocery store here, I see many very well put together women in their sixties and older who I find sexually attractive, yet I can't for a minute imagine them at a park blowing random guys or sitting in the back yard posing for their husbands in the nude.  Maybe they do these things and I am just too naive to believe it.

Don't get me wrong on this.  I know many women in their late sixties who engage in the Hotwife scene.  That is a thing and good for all of us.  But I'm talking about some of the naughty things I see happening on my Tumblr page.  Is it possible that during the porn movie days, these women accepted that nudity and sex were natural things and now, they are older and just don't care? Are these women baby-boomers who lived in the free-love days and still appreciate that sex is okay?

It doesn’t escape me that perhaps some of the images I see are taken of women who are somehow being exploited.  I mean, that is a sad fact of porn, and also a sad fact of life in general.  But what I’m talking about are the images of people who are clearly into it.  Even if they had no idea thier husband was going to share these pictures, they were into the taking of the pics at the time. 

Do I just over think this stuff?  I mean, my wife thinks nothing of sending nude pics to her BF, so why should I be shocked if fifteen years from now she is doing the same thing?   Perhaps these older women I’m seeing on Tumblr are just continuing a free spirit they’ve enjoyed throughout their lives or perhaps they just gotten into nude pictures in their later stages of life. 

We can all appreciate a MILF, but if you get a wild hair, do a search for GILF.  I think you will be surprised at the number of women in thier sixties, seventies and perhaps older who are happily posing in the nude, having sex, or as is often the case, just posing in a sexually teasing way.  Exposed cleavage, topless on a beach, or just looking beautiful. 

Is it just older and middle aged guys like me who have a thing for women who have maintained thier beauty into thier silver years, or are there younger men who can appreciate these grandmothers in all thier glory? 

I think when I was in my teens I often imagined myself having sex with the older ladies in my life.  If they had Tumblr or something similar at that age, it would have been awkward to be caught jacking myself to these images.  We aren’t talking Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies, but more like Helen Mirren or Jane Fonda.  Those are glamorous women, to be sure, but I find myself attracted to just normal women who happen to be older than me. 

So tell me, am I just a perv?  Well, of course I am but I guess I’m asking the extended network of perverts who read this blog, am I the only guy into older women?   Any younger readers who find these silver haired gals to be attractive?

As always, I appreciate your comments and e-mails.


Thursday, May 3, 2018

Going Home...

My wife and I took a trip back to my hometown to visit my mom.  It has been too many years since we’ve been and to be honest, it’s my fault.  I hate to take time off work, so when I do, we tend to go on shorter trips with a specific agenda of seeing some place new, then getting home and back to work. This time, my wife, to her credit, put her foot down and convinced me we needed to visit my mom. 

I left my hometown at 18 with no real desire to return. I’m sure I’ve written the reasons in blog posts years ago, but short story is, love lost; no desire to stay. 

In spite of the fact that I come from a large family, and the fact that I get along fine with all of my siblings, I think my military brat upbringing and years in the service left me as a loner.  I just don’t have that longing for high school reunions or the need to call everybody everyday.  So me rolling into my hometown was not a time for me pull out the old Rolodex and start calling friends. Yes, I did see the family and had daily visits with my mom.  I even drove by the graveyard to see my dad. 

Aside from a post some time ago, I’ve never really taken the time to reflect on this place that I have a strange mental relationship with. You get the idea of anxiety dreams that have you riding your bike up a hill or the ride home that seems to take longer than it should.  Then again, some younger readers may have no concept of riding a bike.  Either way, suffice it to say that those places in my dreams are still there, but certainly not in the form that I recall from the late 1970's.

They tell you in Military basic training that once you’ve been in the service, you can never go home.  Sure, you can physically go there, but you are not the same.  That is true.  In the case of my hometown, the landscape has changed so dramatically that it is an entirely different place.

Two specific locations come to mind.  The first is the location that is now a combination shopping center and complex for hotels, apartments, and a few businesses that don't have the standard storefront.  When I was in school, this area had all been one persons private property with frontage on the main state highway just at the edge of town.  As teens, we would drive down a dirt road, technically trespassing, and park our cars in the woods there, and do whatever teens did, be that drinking beers or having sex.  By my estimation, the vicinity of the location I fucked my high school girlfriend was about where the hotel my wife and I were staying at during this visit.  She didn't find that little piece of trivia as entertaining as I did.

The second location that also was a favorite place of mine for parking in the woods and spreading out an old sleeping bag I kept in the trunk of my car, happened to be just outside of my childhood neighborhood.  It wasn't too many years after I left for the servile that that prime real estate was turned into two cul de sacs with custom built homes.  We pulled into the first cul de sac to look at the remarkable homes and I pointed to a huge, magnificent  oak tree in the front yard of a house and simply said, "There's my tree."

My wife needed no further explanation to understand that that particular tree was exactly the same one under which I would park my car and get out the sleeping bag.  She knew the story form decades ago and simply responded with a sarcastic, "Nice."

It was nice to see people, see the old town and the new town it has become, and it was nice to visit the beach, even if we didn't bother to sun ourselves or get in the water.

Because you've been patient, here are a few creepy old man style pics that I cropped from the edges of  pictures I took of other subjects.


I'm no longer that beach person I was in my youth, but views like this could convince me to give it another try!

I'm back home, my current home now, and off to the office to start the post vacation routine.

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Spam For a Chuckle...

I tend to weed out the spam messages I get in the comments section just to keep them at bay, but I have to post this one.  The comment from this guy was made on a post from over a month ago.  I recognized it as spam right away, but it was just do stupid, I had to share.

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I removed the links but you can find the pages if you want them.  My question is, who are the dumbass men who are so gullible as to buy these penis growth products?  The guy rubs some herbal cream on his dick and it grows from 4 inches to 9 in just two weeks.    Come on guys.  It just doesn't work like that.

Saturday, April 14, 2018

The 14 Year-Old In Me...

I realize that this post will demonstrate how guys seem to fall back to adolescent past when it comes to women we find attractive.  In fact, I will no doubt come across like a 14-year-old, getting my jollies over the local news anchor.  But, I guess that's me.

For the last twenty years, the 10 PM news we watched featured this stunningly beautiful female anchor that, in spite of her beauty, was a great broadcaster.  My wife always knew I had a thing for her and would joke about how every time we got in bed, this lady was with us. 

Incidentally, a co-worker of mine knows her through her daughter and the anchor's son.  They went to high school together.  This lady at work told me both the anchor and her husband are really nice people, and from the social media I stalk follow her on, I believe it.

So the news anchor decided to retire from the news and she is spending her time creating a new career as a fitness guru.  The woman has multiple marathons under her belt, and now has added body building to her life. 

Think about this from my 14 year-old perspective.  I always imagined what it would be like to see this lady naked, and now, she is posting very exposed pics on her social media.  Obviously not nude, but close enough.

Anyway, I'm not mentioning her name and I've even blurred the face just because I'm sure the last thing she needs is some creeper like me getting his jollies over her fitness pics.  If you are from this part of Texas, you'll recognize her immediately.
Am I the only guy who drools over news people?  I have a list of them I'd love to see naked.

Friday, April 13, 2018

IGHIH: Watches Synchronized; Timing Perfect!

I don't think the timing could have worked out any more perfect.  My wife and I had talked earlier in the day and at that point, she had not heard from her boyfriend, JD.  But when I pulled onto our street and saw his truck parked there, I wasn't surprised in the least.

I walked in the door, not necessarily tip-toeing or trying to be extra quiet, but I could hear the ass-whacking going on immediately.  It is clear that JD has found his sweet spot - a smack, a paddle, a riding crop to the ass as she blows him.
 When I got to the room, I snapped a quick picture of the action from the door way.

It is a little strange how routine this has all become for the three of us.  My wife was able to see the movement in the background and realized I was there.  With her hand between JD’s legs, slapping his ass and occasionally pinching him for good measure, she motioned for me to stand back. 

If you recall during our last encounter, I found them in a similar position and she motioned for me to slap his ass.  I think he was getting close to cumming, and she wanted to let him enjoy it. 

In a few moments he was near orgasm and that’s when she gave me the signal to slap his ass.  I gave him a solid smack which led to a surprised laugh, and then she changed her position on the bed and said she wanted him inside her. 

Seeing another man fucking your wife is something that only husbands into this fetish will truly understand.  There is no fear, no jealousy from my point of view, just the image of his balls slapping on her naughty parts. 

Prior to me arriving, I learned that he had already been there for a while. These two spend some quality time talking, having a drink, chit-chatting, but it isn't like they don't message one another fairly regularly.  And again, if you asked me years ago if I would be totally cool with my wife spending time chatting with another man, I can't say I would have been jealous over the thought, but now, I see it as no less routine than any message sessions she has with her old high school friends. 

Of course, it wasn't all talk.  When this is what greets JD at the door, you can understand why things move quickly.


JD spends a lot of quality time going down on her.  And by all means, the briefcase of sex toys is a factor.  From what I learn later, prior to me arriving, my wife has experienced multiple orgasms and when I walked in with my good timing, it is JD's turn to receive his pleasure.  The ass-smacking, the blow job, and now, the pussy.

In a moment he unloads in her pussy and he pulls out to reveal his glistening cock.  So much thicker than my own.  I’m not embarrassed or feeling less of a man, just happy to see first hand the deposit that he left. 

This is not for the faint of heart.  After marveling at the load beginning to seep out of my wife’s pussy, I handed my phone to JD so he could capture the scene that followed.  I devoured his cum, first from the outer lips of her sopping wet pussy, but then the fluid that was deeper inside her. 

The taste of another man’s cum is not foreign or new to me.  I’ve grown to actually desire it.  When it is mixed with the flavor of pussy, it is that much better. There is a quality to the texture of a man’s ejaculate that often makes people squeamish.  I get that but when mixed with the post orgasmic fluids from my wife, it is all the more special. 

When I lifted up from the clean up operation, I asked JD if he was put off by watching me eat his cum.  He shrugged his shoulders. 

“It doesn’t turn me on, per se, but I’m not disgusted by watching.”   He responded.

With that, my wife turned over into her stomach and told me to feel how wet she still was. 
I entered her from behind and within two minutes or so, I had unloaded in her.  For the briefest of moments, I thought it might be a thrill to go down on her again, but that was quickly dismissed as the post orgasm feelings came on and I transferred my thoughts to the three of us cleaning ourselves. 

I casually commented to JD at how thick his cock remained even though his erection had subsided. 

“Why do you think I like him?” My wife laughed. 


Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Sexual Imprinting

I've been reaching back into the archives of some of my favorite podcasters recently, notably Chris Ryan, older episodes of Guys We Fucked, and The Duncan Trussell Family Hour.  I found several interviews with a guy I had not heard of named Conner Habib.  If you know the name, it is quite possibly due to the fact that for years, he was a gay porn actor.  Though I have still yet to see one of his performances, I'm intrigued by this guy who is a highly educated academic and super funny. 

None of that is important; I just thought I'd share.

What is important is that during one of these podcasts, and I don;t recall which one, the conversation about Bi as a sexual identity versus Bi as a fetish came up.  My ears perked, for sure. The context was along the lines of, some people being born completely straight, some people being born completely gay, well, what makes people Bi? 

Now, I know for sure there are bisexual people who can just as comfortably go from a traditional male-female relationship to a same-sex relationship and have very little difference in the "feelings".  To me, if you see a person like that, they are really bisexual in the truest sense.  But what about guys who, similar to me, who just like to suck a dick and have no interest in the man it is attached to with regards to a relationship?  No dates, no walking along the beach hand in hand.  No thanks!

So Dr. Ryan suggests (and I've heard others say this) that young men have a window of their boyhood between approximately age five and ten where they are subject to sexual imprinting.  It is during this age, again, for boys, not girls, where things they experience are likely to become a sexual factor or kink later in adulthood. 

One example of this is the boy who is playing at home and his mother's friend comes over, dressed much different than he normally sees mommy.  Perhaps she is is red heels and thigh high stockings.  This image seen by the 7 year-old good very well be imprinted in his impressionable mind, and at the age of forty, he is the most turned on by seeing his wife in her red heels and thigh highs.

If you think about it, just consider something you occasionally fetishsize, and then think back to a point in your childhood where that may have started.  In my case, I have written extensively about the hijinks the military brats in base housing and I engaged in, very often involving pulling our pants down, looking at each others naughty parts and so on. 

There was a time where I searched my mind trying to determine if I was the way I am because I had been abused as a child.  Perhaps I was, but I can't pinpoint it.  But, if I consider this idea of that vulnerable window between ages five and ten, I'd say there was plenty of things that sent me on the path of perversion as an adult.  I use perversion in a positive way, by the way.

Or this could all just be bullshit.  But perhaps it does explain why I am open to and enjoy sucking dicks yet I have no urgent need to, and years between blowjobs can go without causing problems.

Thoughts?