Wednesday, August 31, 2022

The Convertible

 During the early days of the internet, and I’m talking 56k modems and dial-up bulletin board systems, I got that first taste of seeing nudes that were not paid models.  Granted, you only got a file name that was limited on description, then you downloaded the image and after a minute or so, you got to see what the image was.  Those were rough days.  I can’t count the times I downloaded an image that didn’t match the title. It was like the Dark Ages, man!

So completely unrelated to the burgeoning Internet, my wife and I had purchased a used convertible.  The car was a piece of crap, but fun to drive.  In south Texas, we’d have the air conditioner running full blast just to compete with the hot breeze coming into the car.  We'd take these drives on the back roads, hair going everywhere, cool air blowing from below but the hot sun beating down and the end result always seemed to be sunburn.  But we looked cool doing it.  

It was during this time where I developed this interest in seeing pictures of women in convertibles.  I really had a thing for this look of a lady with long hair, a baseball cap with the hair pulled like a ponytail through the back, and sunglasses. Rayban's.  I still like that look, and it is pretty common here in Texas.

One morning as I was checking out one of the handful of BBS's I found that would share R-rated images, I found an image labeled “topless” and it sounded like a good bet.  As luck would have it, it was a topless woman sitting in a convertible, same make and model and same color as ours.  I felt like I had won the lottery.  I saved the file in some random folder with no worries about anyone seeing it, and moved on to whatever I was doing.  But a few days later, I was alone at the house and decided to take another look at that picture.  Sure, the woman was pretty and she had a nice set of boobs, but it needed something.

In comes my amateur editing skills.  I don’t even recall the free tool I used, perhaps Paint or some such.  I opened up several pictures I had snapped of my wife and had a friend scan in for us.  At that early stage, we had no scanner at our house, no digital cameras, and we were years away from cell phones with cameras.  I found a photo where the sizes were pretty close, and I slowly cut the outline of my wife's head and her dark hair, then copied and pasted it onto the image of the topless woman in the convertible.

By today's standards, even the most computer illiterate amongst us would see how fake it was, but for that day and age, it looked like a specimen that could be used in a court case to say, yes, my wife was sitting in that very convertible.

And then it happened.

A little backstory.  This took place in the first home we owned.  It was across the street from my wife's parents home.  You can see this coming.

My computer was positioned in a makeshift office that we had built next to the back door of the house.  And sure enough, my father-in-law gave one knock as was customary, and walked right in the door. And there was his daughter, topless, in the same convertible that was sitting in our driveway.

I scrambled to hide the picture and while I was quick to do so, I have always assumed that he got an eyeful.  Yet, he never said a word.  His weed eater had crapped out and he wanted to barrow mine.  "Of course, you can." as I led him out to the shed, still white as a ghost, my heart pounding.

We got rid of the convertible less than a year later when I realized it would cost me more in repairs than I was willing to spend.  But every so often, I see a woman driving a convertible and I imagine that scene of my father-in-law walking in on my artwork of his daughter.

Sunday, August 14, 2022

My Random Thoughts...

What follows is evidence that I'm just a mess in my constant mind wandering and flip-flopping with my views on different social issues. 

We watched a movie last night called Licorice Pizza.  As I often do, as I'm watching the movie, I click through IMDB in order to figure out who a particular actor is.  I made the mistake this time of reading reviews as I was watching.  They were brutal.

I'll spare you the details and just say that I enjoyed watching the movie even if the points many critics made were accurate.  There was no plot to the movie.  It was just a series of situations between two unlikely friends.  If you are willing to enjoy a movie knowing that it is not groundbreaking or life-changing, and if you know going in that it was a bit longer than it should have been, enjoy.

Oh, there was one other thing.  The female character is 25, the male is 15.  If you flip this, of course, the police will be called before this movie is even released in theaters.  And some of the IMDB critics made this very point.  

Call me anti-social, but based on the script, there was, aside from no need for this age difference to be what it was (the kid could have been say 16 or 17, and the female, 18 or 19), but there was no so called authority figure in the relationship.  If anything, the 15 year old guy was the aggressor and the one really leading the relationship.  Which also made the storyline tough.  


You learn a lot about complete strangers who anonymously post and favorite pictures on sites like Tumblr and Flickr.  

Yea, if you were like me, originally thinking these were photo sharing sites where photographers could present their art in a public space, or families could post photos for relatives and friends across the world, then you just haven’t found the naked pictures yet.  

I for one created a Flickr account years ago with the intent of having a wholesome place to keep an electronic version of my pictures of kids, plates of nachos, and photos of the places my wife and I took day trips to.  Strictly family friendly stuff and I had no qualms about sharing the links with anyone interested in looking.  

And then one day I happened upon a photographer who was posting very tastefully done photos of a model who happened to be topless.  Wait, what? On family friendly Flickr?

I learned quickly about looking at Flickr user’s Favorites folders.  By looking in the favorites of one account, I could see similar users with similar content. More artists sharing tasteful nudes, artistic, well lighted, and professional.  These users favorites led me to photos of less tasteful artists.  Amateurs with iPhones.  Husbands with a knack for candaulism (Interesting article from Dr. David J. Ley in Psychology Today about this) and wives who loved to bare all.  Jack-fucking-pot!

If I wasn't clear on how this happens, let me try to briefly explain.  First, let's say you search for "beach".  You find a list of users who have photos taken at a beach.  They could anything.  Pictures of sand, waves, seagulls, people walking on the beach, people sunbathing, people playing volleyball.  Just think of anything you might see at a beach.

Now, you see a picture and you click on the user who posted it, and now you see that user's entire portfolio. Not just beach pictures but pictures of all their other interests. Trees, squirrels, dogs, cars.  Whatever.  Then, you move over to their folder of "favorites".  These are pictures taken by other users that this user has clicked a star to make it a "favorite".  From here, you can click on the user who posted that picture and the process starts all over.

One after another, user after user, I found myself digging deeper into a user base of normal people who just enjoy sharing and all they ask in return is comments.  There are loads of middle aged wives who want to be told that men find them attractive.  And, there are some who desperately want to be degraded. I have never seen so much kink on display.  And keep in mind, my interest is strictly the amateurs.  I find no personal interest in seeing an airbrushed, photoshopped model, but show me a mom who has worked all day, had a glass of wine and willing to let her horny husband take pictures of her while she strips down for a shower. Yes, please. 

So enough about my artistic interests.  What I find amazing is how Americans turn normal nudity, purely non-sexual things seen daily in other cultures, into a perversion.  

An example.  Going through one user’s favorites, I spot a few pictures of topless sunbathers at a beach.  When you click on the original account that posted the photos, you learn this is nothing more than a European family on holiday at a beach.  Dozens of family photos of dinners, visits to the zoo, boating, and sure, beach photos with topless people.  I’m sure the account owner is thrilled that hundreds of American men are beating off to a 15 year old with tits.  

What is wrong with us?  I’ll tell you what.  We have so sexualized the slightest jiggle of a breast, we’ve made an entire industry of Kim Kardashian’s fat ass, and let's not even get started on the trauma we put young girls through with the need to have the perfect face and shape on social media. Then, counter that with religious nut cases claiming the natural act of breastfeeding is something too sexual for public view.  

Where our friends in other nations refuse to shield 12 year olds from the sight of a breast, we freak out when Janet Jackson’s jewelry covered nipple is exposed for a split second on national television.  No wonder you have adult men ogling over a family enjoying a visit to a public beach.  

Maybe I’m just a hypocrite. I spent several paragraphs explaining how I came to learn that people share nekkid  pictures on Flickr and Tumblr.  And here I am now complaining that we puritanical Americans are the perverts ruining the ability for a family to post innocent, wholesome photos of their family.  


Now going back to the movie, Licorice Pizza.  In my mind, the reason we were so worried about age gaps and age of consent laws was that 50 or 60 years ago, women were treated as if they were second class citizens in this country.  They had no agency and presumably a 25 year-old man (a boy, really) was no match for a 15 year old-girl.  I buy it, and I'm glad that in general, we see that in most cases there is an unfair advantage when a person of authority is suggesting sex.  

But I'm one of those dinosaur men who would was constantly finding myself attracted to the older woman.  Three of my first five sexual partners easily would be described today as "problematic".  Me, a 15 year-old with an almost 20 year-old. Me as a 17 year-old with a 21 year old, and me also as a 17 year old with a 22 year-old married woman!  Not only did I not have any complaints at all, but looking back, none of these women had any power over me, a horny teen just eager to get laid. 

Like the movie, this post has bounced around in a tangential way covering age gaps, nudity, and our American obsession with sex, even when there is no sex involved.  Like a family taking pictures of a day at a beach, the movie did not ever present, nor did they imply any sex between the two main characters, yet, we all lose our minds over it all.

Now then, I better go check my TV listings for some football with scantily clad cheerleaders, or college volleyball and those shorty shorts the female players wear, or some good old fashioned beach volleyball.  Those uniforms are the best.  Or I could simply skip that and watch the commercials on TV.  Sex sells.

Wednesday, August 3, 2022

More Substack Posts

 I know many of the folks here are not regular readers of Substack writers so I thought I might share a few recent posts.  Between being so busy with work and not being able to write when a thought crosses my mind, I'm finding that I have a lot of ideas in my mind that simply pass before they can be written down.  I need one of those little voice memo recorders like Michael Keaton had in that movie Night Shift.

So the times I have made it to post, here are a few links to them.

This one is called Grandparents and Religion.  It was about a conversation I had with my grandson.

Here is another called Unanswered Letters.  Longtime readers of this blog will recognize I'm writing about two friends prominently featured here a few years ago during my so-called mid-life crisis.  

There are a few others I have posted, but you get the idea.  Stop on by and take a look.

Monday, July 11, 2022

Here is Something New...

 I'm giving Substack a try.  I haven't fully figured it out yet.  I'm not sure what I plan to do with it.  It's free to use.

Take a look, won't you?  Who knows, I may even attempt some short podcast style entries.  

Monday, June 27, 2022

Hot Saturday Night!

 It has been a while, that's for sure.  Between a series of family visitors, schedule conflicts and other normal things, it has been well over a month or so since my wife was able to enjoy a visit from our friend, JD.  But the stars all aligned and this past Saturday evening, he was free to meet us for a nice evening that including drinks at our local pub followed by some relaxing hot tub time, and then, an incredible session of sex where I both played the voyeuristic husband, and participant in the action.

I do want to talk briefly about my desire to watch.  If you read a lot of my posts in the past (many since deleted), I've talked about medical things and such.  At the urging of a reader here, I finally wen't to one of the those bloodwork places and paid the $68 to get a LowT test.  Sure enough, my levels were significantly lower than normal for my age.  At this point, I'm waiting to hear back from my regular doctor to see what is next.  

I think the way it has impacted me is, while I have a great interest in sexuality, for me it is more of an interest like perhaps you might have in certain hobbies.  Think of a guy with a great interest in vintage muscle cars.  You sure want to see what is under the hood of that '68 Camaro,  but you no longer have the idea to reach in, pull out the alternator or change the plugs.  For me, that is the same reason why I really enjoy reading the blogs, listening to podcasts and, watching another guy fuck my wife.  

I do get boners, the key thing is, I just don't have that same drive I had before.  Sure, I'd like to be one of those horny guys who can't keep their hands off grandma, but for right now, I'm happy to be the horny guy who sits back and watches.

So back to the story.  On Saturday, we had drinks, caught up on life and such, then headed back to the house, just a mile down the road.  Once there, I pulled our little utility vehicle out of the garage and we took a ride to the back of the property where I had left a prepared fire barrel ready to go.  For those of you who don't live out in the country, it is pretty common to burn all your paper and cardboard products since the local garbage folks don't do recycling.  It's an excuse to make a fire, is what I'm really saying.

I had this idea that we'd sit out far away from where anyone could see, and perhaps someone would get the urge for getting naked out there.  But between the fact that it was still in the 90's even long after the sun had gone down, that wasn't happening.  We let the fire burn down to a safe level in the barrel and headed back to the house.  My wife opened up the tub, and she decided she wanted to take a shower on the out door deck.  She stripped and got the dust and sweat off her and motioned for JD to join her.  As I ran into the house to grab towels, he followed her into the shower.  I returned, completely nude.  You have to understand, our back patio is very private.  As I was explaining to a friend, the neighbors on one side would have to make a big effort to look onto our patio.  Granted, if they happen to be out in their yard peering toward my enclosed shower, and looking through the slats, yes, they could see.  But not at night.

Our tub is set on the lower heating level for the summer, but even then, the temperature was around 93 degrees.  That is cool enough to keep you from sweating, but warm enough that you won't feel cold if a breeze comes through.  We all climbed in, and probably spent close to an hour just continuing our conversations about kids, work, normal things naked people talk about while sitting in a hot tub.  

Eventually, my wife made that look she makes when she is ready for the real party to start.  I got out of the tub first and went into the bedroom and put on some music, set my phone on the lounge that sits in the corner of the room.  This is my preferred seating for the show that was about to begin.  

In a moment, the two of them walked in, but still nude by now dried off.  JD laid down on the bed and looked over at me and smiled.  It is funny how we have this way of communicating with facial expressions and winks and such.  I know there are some couples where the third guy is supposed to be the husband's rival or some form of bad guy.  But in our case, we both know what we are getting from this arrangement.  No animosity, no rivalry, none of that.  We are both getting pleasure and we are both happy about it.  I love that JD has the thicker cock, and I love that my wife craves his tongue on her pussy.  If he didn't have those two attributes, I don't think he would have lasted this long.

When my wife looked at JD smiling at me, she said, "I'm going to need you down here."  She laid back and JD took his position with his knees on the carpet and his head between her legs.  

For the next 20 minutes or so, he gave her several loud orgasms.  The man works magic on her pussy.  During the course of this play, he got up and grabbed a package he had brought with him.  In addition to the bottle of wine and box of chocolates, he had a new vibrator that is to be inserted in the vaginal, but then also vibrates outside on the pubic area.  It is quite fancy.  With this device going, yet another orgasm came quickly.  

My wife proposed a sixty-nine position with one of her trusty vibrators inserted.  The new one was placed in the bathroom sink while the next toy was retrieved.  My wife asked me if I had a good view and I nodded with with a smile.

As JD continued the assault of her pussy with both his tongue and the vibrator, my wife had lost herself on his thick cock, though based on the loud moans coming from her mouth, I'm not sure how good of a BJ he was receiving.

At one point my wife reached back quickly and batted JD away from her pussy.  She screamed out their playful safe word and they both laughed.  

You should be aware that, during this time, as I sat back and watched, I slowly stroked my cock, occasionally pulled on my balls and enjoyed the show.  There were occasional comments back and forth.  My wife was doing her best to make sure that I was comfortable, that I could see what I wanted to see and that I wasn't losing interest.  You have to keep in mind that, primarily due to timing, I had not actually watched these two in action in quite a while.  Either, I'd pull into my driveway after work, and JD would have just left the house, or I'd walk in and they were already finished with sex and were having a beer after the fact.  So in a way, it was like re-learning how we all do this together.  I promise you, it is like riding a bike.

I had gotten up to go grab some beers from the refrigerator.  Granted, by this point, I was the only one having an occasional sip.  When I returned, JD was on his knees and elbows.  and my wife was about half-way through the process of inserting a vibrating anal plug.  This is one made for men that is shaped similar to a long finger.  It is aimed at massaging the prostate.  Ever since JD got over the embarrassment of me knowing that he enjoys anal play, he simply shrugs it off when I see her inserting it in him.  I wish more men realized the pleasure one can have in anal play.  There is nothing "gay" about receiving pleasure from a woman and her toy.

Once the device was suitably installed, JD rolled over on his back and my wife looked up at me and said, "Get up old man.  I need you in me."

She stood at the edge of the bed with JD's legs on either side of her's.  She then grabbed his cock and stuck her ass out at me.  "Watch this!" She said.

I stood behind her and after a moment of adjusting my legs to match her height, I entered her pussy from behind.  Looking over her shoulder, I watched the show she made of sucking JD's cock.  She kept turning her head to the side so I had a clear view of the work she was doing on him.  He and I made that eye contact we do, when we both know how fantastic this arraignment is.  In sort of a "No homo" way, I pulled on his legs as leverage as I slid in and out of her pussy.  I imagined what it must be like to have the anal toy inserted while getting a playful blow job. 

Meanwhile, as I pounded my wife's pussy, her ass pushed against my thighs with each thrust.  I said, "Talk nasty."

She turned her head and said, "That's kind tough with JD's dick in my mouth."

I laughed and said, "No, JD talk dirty."

That was all it took. For the next several minutes, JD gave me exactly what I wanted.  Please understand, this isn't about humiliation, though I absolutely do get off on either he or my wife pointing out the obvious: "You love my thick cock, don't you?"  "It's so much thicker than his" "You've missed my big cock, haven't you?"

The real turn on is, these things are all true.  We all know it, there is no debate about it, and none of us are unhappy or embarrassed by it. But I still find it such a turn on to hear it, whether in the remarks he makes or when she says it to me.  She will say things like, "He is so much bigger than you." "I love how he fills my pussy."

I know so many men are different when it comes to this stuff. Some husbands have to be there for every second of the encounter.  No kissing, no going to his house alone, no this or no that.  Some men want total humiliation, they want to be in a cock cage, forced to sit in the corner and watch.  Some husbands have that need to be called a sissy.  I just don't fit into those categories, but I realize there are guys who read my situation and just shutter.  We all have our own little mental imagery of what HotWife or Cuckold arrangement works best for them.  

At some point, I mentally found myself wanting to simply unload in my wife.  I asked JD, "If I cum in her pussy, will you clean her out?"

I've been eating her pussy after JD unloads in her for years, but we've never reversed the role.  He smiled and said, "I might."  He followed that with, "You know, I go down on her after I cum in her quite a bit when you aren't here."

That statement should have made me cum.  That combined with my wife just bucking her backside into my dick.  Enter my Low T and whatever other issues and I finally stopped and said, "I don't think it is going to happen.  But this is fun."

I backed away and felt my thighs turn into spaghetti.  I think I need to do some squats!

My wife moved to a small rocker that is placed in front of the lounge I was on and had JD get up from the bed.  She positioned them to be right in front of me as she continued the blow job.  I could see JD doing every mental trick he could to just spray cum all over my wife's face and tits, but I also realized we had ben going at this for several hours.  It was close to 2AM.  We had climbed in the hot tub around 10 PM.

Before long, he knew he was not going to cum either.  Beer kills, people.  

As they moved back to the bed, JD popped out the anal toy and we had a laugh about the sound effects made the very first time my wife used a large dildoe on me.  We all laughed reliving that moment in a hotel room when I had been bent over as my wife rammed in and out with that huge thing.  When I couldn't take it any more, she pulled it out and it made this popping sound as if a champagne cork had popped.  Good times.

When it was all over, My wife and JD stayed lying on the bed and we all talked for probably another 30 to 45 minutes.  Eventually, toys were cleaned, showers were had beer cans were disposed of.  My wife reports a total of at least five orgasms on the night, maybe more.  Neither JD nor I had exploded, though we all agreed that we had a satisfying night.  

Yea, it was hot.  It was a hot Saturday night, and a hotter Sunday morning.

Wednesday, June 1, 2022

That Time My Buddy's Nana Spanked Him!

 So a strange thing happened the other day.  I was looking through some pages of some people I follow on Flickr.  I like to really look through people's Favorites because I think that is where you find the good stuff.  So during this casual flipping through of pictures, I came upon this cartoon/drawing of what seemed to be an older grandma type woman with a younger boy (I would assume all models are at least 18, but it was a drawing), and she had him bare assed over her knee and was swatting him.  

So, I'm not really into spanking.  I think that is a near vanilla thing that couples probably engage in when they first start becoming sexually active.  Then there is the more intense stuff that probably falls into the BDSM category.  Frankly, once I got past my first girlfriend in high school, I just never felt the urge to spank a woman, and certainly not be spanked myself.

So I scrolled on to other pictures and in fact, I moved to other Flickr accounts and frankly, I have no idea where I saw the picture.  I had planned to copy it and show it here as an example of what I'm talking about when I began to write this.

I started thinking about this incident that happened when I was in middle school, aged 14 or 15.  I started writing the background of who was who, where we lived, and how this whole thing came about, but then I realized that my verbosity is probably just too much detail for some readers.  You don't give a crap about about what people are wearing, where we were, etc., etc.  So I'll get down to the meat of it.

As I said, this happened when we were 14 or 15.  A group of us, including two brothers were out shooting BB guns in the woods, and the older brother (14) shot his younger brother (12) in the back.  This is gun safety 101.  Always assume the weapon is loaded, and don't fucking shoot your brother in the back as a joke.

The group of us teens including the victim all agreed on a story: Two older boys we didn't know or recognize from the neighborhood made some snide remarks and when we turned around to leave, one of the boys shot the 12 year old in the back.  Simple enough for everyone to remember the story.  Next, as we raced back to the kids' house to alert the parents, we were thinking it was just a wound fixable with some Mecurocrome and a bandage.  Turns out when the mother and step-father saw the welt, they gathered up the kid and took him to the clinic for stitches.

This is where the story got super strange.  Just a note, if you find a kid shooting his brother in the back with a BB gun the strange part, I assure you, back in the 1970's, it happened all the time.

The 14 year old was nicknamed Scooter.  We all stood in front of his house doing the late 1970's equivalent of high-fives.  I don't know what that was, but I don't recall high-fiving being a thing yet.

A we were standing there, Scooter's grandmother opened the front door.  The lady didn't live with them but she seemed to be there an awful lot.  Back then, I saw gray hair and thought she was old, but in reality, she was probably in her late fifties at the most.  Considering that describes me now, I see her as a woman who was in her prime!

I always thought she was a nice lady and never had any reason to think otherwise.  But when she stood there with her arms folded and said, "Come inside boys." with a really stern look, I suddenly thought we were about to get a serious tongue lashing.

I'm sure by now you can imagine that wasn't the case.

We shuffled into the dining room in silence and I was seriously hoping everyone would stick to the story.  It wasn't so much that the rest of us had shot at the younger brother, but the fact that we conspired to cover it up.  That basically meant phone calls to parents and grounding, just on principle.  But if we all stuck with it, we might get by.

It never even got to that point.  I guess Nana, as Scooter and his brother called her, knew.  This is before cell phones so my speculation is that the parents broke the younger brother before they even got to the clinic, and as soon as they arrived, a phone call was made.

If you recall the scene at the end of Slingblade where the convicted sex offender drags his wooden chair across the floor to great affect, that is exactly the sound it made when Nana pulled a chair out from the dining room table and placed it a few feet away.  I looked at Scooter and right away he had this pleading look on his face.

"No, Nana, please, not now." He began to quietly sob.

"Now!" she demanded like a drill sergeant.

Looking at the other two boys, we all sort of turned white.  What the hell is this old lady doing?

"I will not tell you again." she said.

"Nana, please." he begged.  "Hey, you guys should probably go home now." he pleaded through obvious tears of embarrassment.

"Stand right there!" Nana hollered at us.

I've always suffered from a nervous laugh.  I laughed in military basic training at all the wrong times which generally caused unwanted attention.  

When Nana told Scooter to pull down his pants or she would rip them off him, I had the slightest bit of a smirk.  I mean, this kid was 14.  You don't get spanked when you're 14, especially with your pants down.  I think I smirked with the slightest bit of a suppressed laugh when I got the look from hell.  I nearly pissed myself.

Scooter tried to half comply by unzipping his Levi's and pulling them over his underwear to the top of his thighs.  This was not a matter of other guys seeing him undressed; we had all routinely seen each other completely nude, either from skinny dipping or through random dares of streaking in public places.  This was a matter of humiliation and that was why Nana insisted the rest of us observe.

"Goddammit, you know what will be done when you misbehave like this.  Now the longer you defy me, the worse it will be. "

Scooter was so embarrassed his attempts to hide tears was over with.  He simply pulled his underwear along with the jeans completely down to his ankles, then leaned his body over Nana's knees.  

Some people get off on this and I mean no attempt to kink shame, but as a teen approaching high school age, this was socially horrific.  When the first hard slap to the ass landed, my only thought was, please, make this quick and let's all get out of here before she looks at her next victims.

It was only made worse when Nana would spank, then talk and lecture Scooter, mostly for the audience's ears, then spank again before another diatribe.  I think the three of us tried to look away or look down and Nana would snap, "Eyes on me."

In total I think she smacked his ass at least ten times but it seemed to take forever.  There were no marks of any concern, just redness that matched Scooter's face.  I honestly felt bad for him and have to admit to wailing up myself.  

"Have you learned your lesson, Michael?" Nana called him by his real name.  

"Yes, Ma'am." Scooter whimpered, still bent over the knee with red ass exposed to his friends.  

"I love you.  I'm sorry you forced me to punish you in front of your friends."  She now rubbed his ass cheeks and looked up at us. "They need to understand what happens when boys your age break the rules."

Jesus, we were 14 and 15, not 7 year olds.

"You may stand up now." She offered.  

As Scooter lifted himself up from Nana's lap, he quickly reached for the pants at his ankles. His embarrassment was palpable.

"Go to your room and wait for your mother." she said.

"Yes, Ma'am."  Scooter made no eye contact with the group of us boys, and who could blame him?

When Scooter had shuffled off to his room along with whatever dignity that remained, Nana looked up at the three of us.  I know we were all thinking the same thing.  This crazy bitch better not think she can have me pull down my pants and climb on her knees.  

As if it was slow motion from the scene in Slingblade again, Nana stood up, dragged the wooden chair across the floor which scared the shit out of us, then stood with a big smile and said, "Which of you could go for some cookies?  I just pulled them out of the oven twenty minutes ago."

"I sure could." said Albert, the youngest of the group.

I looked at Gary, the older boy and muttered "Shit". I think we were hoping to just get the hell out of there.

Strangely, we sat there and ate a few cookies each and then Nana escorted us to the front door.  Nothing more was said.

The next time I saw Scooter he preemptively said he didn't want to discuss it.  I had so many questions.  I saw Nana on and off again for several years before I left for the military.  Thankfully I never witnessed another spanking but have no idea if they occurred and Scooter just chose not to share the humiliating details.

Tuesday, May 24, 2022

Were My Parents Swingers?

 In the early 1970’s when I was still in elementary school, there was a TV show called, “Love American Style”.   It was a comedy show that featured a few different storylines each time, and they had a regular cast of people supplemented by guest stars each show.  These were ten or twelve minute stories that as you might guess revolved around relationships and sex. 

I doubt I watched the show during the initial run but for sure it was one of the syndicated shows that played every afternoon when I got home from school.  My sister and I would laugh at the silly comedic actors.  In my mind, there was just lots of over the top innuendo, implying s-e-x, but no actual doing it.  

I’m almost certain though that this show is what introduced me to the term “swingers”,  even if I didn’t fully understand what it was.  

I suppose it was around this time that I concluded my parents and their close friends, the neighbors from down the street were swingers.  

No, I never walked in on the wrong husband being at my house or finding the wrong wife there, but there was something in my mind that kept telling me there was something sexual taking place.  To this day, thirty years later, I have no proof of my suspicions yet, I still think it.  

It’s funny, I don’t even imagine my father fucking the other wife, but more of this idea that the other husband fucked my mom while my dad and the other woman sat back and watched in a voyeuristic way. I imagine them sitting back enjoying cocktails as their spouses go at it.  

How does this thought enter into a 14 or 15 year old’s mind and stick there for years? 

Oh, I don’t think I didn’t map out the logistics of it all.  You know, the place, the time, the privacy needed to engage in such adult behavior.  

By the time I was fifteen my parents had raised all my older brothers and sisters and they simply were not the helicopter parents of the 2020’s.  In the late 1970’s, my parents would go on a trip out of town (with the neighbors) and leave me to my own devices, knowing I was responsible enough to get to school, feed myself, feed the pets and not burn down the house.  

I imagined my parents and the neighbors just went to their shared cabin in the woods, drank heavily and did swinger stuff with each other.  Or on shorter trips, perhaps adjoining rooms in a hotel. Dinner, drinks, sex, voyeurism.  

They were away on one of these trips when, just before starting the tenth grade, an older woman took my virginity. But that’s another story and I’ve probably told it before.  

Both the husbands have long passed away and I doubt I’d ask my 92 year-old mother if she ever fucked the neighbor while dad watched.  But maybe that’s just something that runs in the family.  I mean, I had to get it from somewhere.